In the Crease (Assassins Book 11) Read online

  Jensen couldn’t have babies.

  Heading out of the office with pamphlets on what to eat and natural ways to boost his sperm count, Jensen held his wife’s hand, his heart in his throat. He couldn’t believe this was happening. All they wanted was a family. A big family. They were decent people, he had just gotten signed to the Wild, and he was going places. They could finally afford a baby and then some. They had plans, names, everything. Yet, no baby.

  Closing his eyes, he stopped abruptly. When he opened them, he met her worried gaze, and his heart melted. Man, he felt like utter shit. He was failing her.

  “Ophelia.”

  “Yeah, babe?”

  “If you want to get a divorce, go find a man who can give you children, I understand. I know it’s all you want.”

  Her face fell as she shook her head. “No, I love you. I don’t want to be with anyone but you.”

  He leaned into her, closing his eyes as their foreheads met.

  The sad thing was, he had believed her.

  Wholeheartedly.

  But that was a long, long time ago, and as Jensen watched Wren’s face twist in horror, he prayed she’d want to go along with what he wanted.

  “Oh, Jensen. I had no idea.”

  “It was a long time ago. I’m completely over it.” And he was, not that it didn’t still sting that his wife had gotten knocked up by someone else and left him. Something like that put a dent in a man’s pride.

  “Was that why she left you?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You should have let me run her over with my car.”

  “She was pregnant.”

  “So? Whore.”

  “I couldn’t give her what she wanted, I don’t blame her. I was hurt and I was pissed, but still.”

  “No but still! It doesn’t matter. If she truly loved you, she should have stood beside you!” she said, her voice rising as she ran her fingers through her hair. “Jesus.”

  “You’re right.”

  “I am. And fuck her. Stupid whore.”

  “It’s fine. It’s been over ten years, I’m good.”

  “Well, I’m pissed right now.”

  “I can see that,” he said, his lips curving as he looked down at his hands. Swallowing hard, he glanced back up at her, his heart in his throat. “Wren, I’m asking you to do what she didn’t.”

  She looked up, her brows to her hairline. “What?”

  “To stand by me. And I’ll stand by you.”

  Her lips parted. “But, Jensen—”

  He held up his hands, stopping her. “I don’t want to end this and have you take the blame. I want it to work. If it doesn’t, then at least we can say we tried. But I refuse to be a deadbeat dad. I want to be there for him and you. Always. And I think what I’m asking for is fair.”

  She was shaking her head. “I don’t want that, though. I don’t want a real husband—”

  “Not yet, but maybe in the next six months, you will.”

  Her lips pressed together as she looked down at her growing belly. Maybe he had come on too strong, but he didn’t think there was any other way to be but straightforward. If she wanted this, then this was how it was going to be. His heart was jackhammering in his chest. Sweat had broken out along his forehead, and everything was tingling. His whole body. Holy fuck, he was doing this.

  “I would be a good father to him. I’d love him as if he were my blood.”

  Her lips curved down in a pout as she nodded. “Oh, Jensen, I know. I know that with all of my soul.”

  He nodded, choking on his own heart. “I’d be a good husband too.”

  She met his gaze, her eyes wide and so damn beautiful. “I don’t doubt that, but it isn’t what I want. I don’t want that life. I don’t even think I’m gonna be good at the whole mom thing, but a wife too?”

  “You’ll be great,” he said simply, and her eyes widened, full of tears.

  “I don’t know.”

  He almost didn’t move, but he knew he had to. Standing up, he dug into his pocket for the ring that was his grandmother’s before walking around the desk to her. Going down on one knee, he held the ring up to her as she turned in her seat to look down at him. Her eyes were wide, wild, and full of fear.

  The last time he had seen her look like that was when Vaughn dared her to jump off a bridge that was ten feet above the water. She didn’t want to do it, but Wells and Vaughn had, and boy, were they taunting her. Coming up beside her, Jensen had said he’d jump with her. Together, hand in hand, they did it. And just like then, he wanted her to jump with him once more.

  “This is my grandmother’s ring, I thought you’d like it.”

  She glanced at the ring. He knew it was nothing special, just a vintage gold band. Ophelia thought it was ugly and didn’t want it, so he had bought her a different one, but he was pretty sure this ring was more Wren’s style anyway.

  As she glanced up from it, a smile covered her gorgeous face. “It’s so elegant.”

  “I agree, and I’d really love for you to have it as a symbol of my promise to stand beside you and be there for you. Maybe even be able to love you.”

  “Jensen,” she tried, but then she shook her head. “Really, this is what you want? With me? Someone who could possibly never love you back. You deserve more than that. Find a woman who will love you and adopt a baby or something.”

  But he shook his head. “I believe God puts you in situations for a reason. This boy needs a dad. I can be that for him and more. I’ll be his mentor, his best friend, and I will love both of you—till my dying day, if you let me. I can’t be your mentor because I’m pretty sure you’re smarter than me, but Wren, I’ve always been your best friend. You know that.”

  “Jenny, Jesus, you’re killing me here,” she cried, her eyes getting lost in his soft gaze.

  “I know we can make this work.”

  “I don’t know that,” she admitted, her eyes holding his. “And I don’t want to hurt you.”

  He could see it in her eyes. She didn’t want that, and neither did he. But he refused to go into this without his terms. Because if he did, he’d get hurt. A hundred percent, he would. Clearing his throat, he shook his head. “You won’t, as long as you try.”

  She looked to the ring and then back at him once more. He could hear her heart pounding, or maybe that was his. He wasn’t sure, but his eyes stayed locked with hers as she went from the ring to him. Finally, she asked, “Can I have some time? To think it over?”

  His heart dropped into his gut. Was he that awful? He was basically going to give her the world, why wasn’t she taking it? Dropping his hand, he nodded. “I mean, yeah, you gave me time. I think that’s only fair.”

  “I’m sorry. I just want to be sure I’m doing the right thing.”

  “No, it’s fine.”

  “Jenny, I can see it on your face. You’re not happy with me.”

  He got up, shrugging as he tucked the ring back into his pocket. “I’d give you the world, Wren. All of it.”

  “Why? Why would you do this? For the kid?”

  “For you.”

  And with that, he turned, walking toward her office door. “You know how to get ahold of me.”

  “Yeah,” she said to his retreating back before he opened the door and stepped out.

  Catching her gaze once more before he shut the door, he shrugged. “And, Wren, I don’t make a promise I don’t intend to keep.”

  “I know.”

  He nodded. “And I hope you’ll do the same.”

  Her lips started to quiver, and she nodded. “I know, that’s why I’m asking for time to think this over.”

  He smiled. “Or to see if the gigolo is still available?”

  Her face broke into a grin. “That too.” He nodded, but as he went to shut the door, she called, “Thanks, Jenny.”

  He shut the door and then leaned against it.

  That hadn’t gone the way he’d assumed it would.

  But then, what in his life ever did