Taking Risk Series Read online

  “Hi Mom, Dad,” I say as I wipe away some bird poop on my mom’s grave with the rag I brought just for that. “Came to visit. Sorry, I didn’t come sooner. As you both know, I’ve moved to Ireland like you wanted, Mom.” My voice breaks a bit, and I swallow my sob as I go to clean my dad’s. As I scrub, I blink back my tears as Declan’s hand rests on the middle of my back. “Things are great. I’m going to school, I work for Shelia, and I met someone. His name is Declan. He’s here too.” I swallow around the lump in my throat as I continue to scrub. “I love him so damn much and things are moving fast, but we are getting married in two weeks,” I say as his hand comes up into my hair, cupping my neck. “I’m happy, he makes me happy, but I do miss you guys. So much.”

  I don’t know what I am expecting. For them to come out of their graves and wrap their arms around me? I don’t know, but soon I am crying as I wait for some kind of response. A butterfly, a rainbow, shit, anything. When nothing happens, I stand up quickly, leaving Declan at my feet.

  “I forgot something in the car. Be right back,” I say, turning quickly and heading to the car. I need to be alone. I need to pull it together.

  But Declan being Declan, he says, “Do ya want me to come, love?”

  I shake my head. “I’ll be one minute,” I call back as I rush to the car.

  Getting there, I collapse against the car and just cry. I cry so hard my body is shaking and my heart feels as if it is coming out of my chest. This was supposed to help. This was supposed to make me feel better, but all I feel is agony. Wiping my face, I reach in the car for my purse. I wasn’t lying when I said I had to get something. I figured I’d get it later, but here I am, pulling out the picture of Declan and me at the engagement party and then a picture of Shelia, Michael, and Fiona with a message from my aunt to my dad on the back.

  Wiping my face once more, I look back at where Declan sits on my parents’ graves, his hand on my mom’s tombstone. He’s talking to it. My brows come up as my eyes fill with tears once more. What is he doing?

  Heading for him, I wonder what he is saying, but before I can get there, the clouds part and the sun starts to shine down on me. I’m hot within seconds, and when I look up, two cardinals are sitting in the tree. My mom always said that cardinals were good luck. Is this my sign? Gooseflesh explodes over my body as I fight for breath. Am I really seeing this? Looking back at Declan, I go to call him, but he moves to my dad’s grave, putting his hand on his tombstone as he starts to speak.

  “I’m not worthy of her, not in the least, but I’ll love her. With everything inside me. I’ll care for her, make sure she’s never unhappy. When she wants to see yous two, I’ll bring her. I don’t know how I got lucky enough to meet her and then to fall in love with her, but I have and don’t plan on ever letting her go. I’ll do anything and everything to protect, provide, and love her for the rest of my life.” I cover my mouth with my hand as the two birds fly overhead, leaving me alone as I close my eyes, my tears rushing down my face. “I brought ya an O’Callaghan pin too. Everyone who joins our family gets one. Yous may not be here physically, but yer here in her heart, in my heart, and I promise to always keep yer memory alive, along with Amberlyn. Our wee little ones will know their grandda and grandma. And the wee ones after that. Yous will worry for her, I understand that, but ya have my word, as a man, I’m gonna love her and make her proud to be my wife.”

  “I’m already proud,” I finally say, and he turns to look at me, a grin on his face.

  “C’mere, love. Let’s sit a bit, yeah?”

  Coming to him, I drop down into his lap as he wraps his arms around my waist, kissing my jaw. Leaning forward, I set the picture of him and me on my mom’s stone and then the one of my aunt’s family on my dad’s. Leaning my head against his shoulder, a calm falls over me like the sun, warming Declan and me as we sit in contented silence.

  “I saw you talking to my mom. What did you say?”

  He smiles in my hair as he kisses my temple. “It’s a secret.”

  I smile moving my nose along his jaw. “Tell me.”

  “Ah, can’t say no to ya, can I?”

  I flash him a grin and he holds my face. “I asked her to help ya. To give ya a sense of peace, if she could. I know her not being here hurts ya, my love. Since I can’t fix it, maybe up there, she can figure out a way to help, ya know?”

  My lip wobbles as my throat burns with a sob and I nod. As much as I would love that, I also don’t want it to happen. I like the pain; it reminds me of what I’ve lost and to always cherish the life I have. To live it to the fullest and the greatest I can. To do that, I know I need Declan in my life. I have to let go of this fear that has me thinking he is going to change me.

  No one can change me but me.

  And Declan wouldn’t do that anyway.

  He loves me.

  He just told my mom and dad that.

  * * *

  We leave the following day with everything that I wanted to bring home on its way. I also left with a pretty check for my family home. It was hard when my uncle handed it to me, but seeing him with his arm around his new wife and their child growing in her belly, I felt that my home was going to be filled with love the way it had been before. That my parents’ memory would still live on. At least I hope so.

  As much as I didn’t want to leave, Declan promised we’d come back soon, and that made me feel a little better. I knew that he had to get back to work and I needed to get Fiona a dress since the wedding is going to be here before we know it. There is so much to do, and I also have to deal with the fact that I don’t want to live with his family.

  I wish I could talk him into moving to the States, but being back did nothing for me. We were only gone a day and I missed Mayo so damn much. I missed the green of the country, the friendliness of the people, and the air. It’s just so crisp in Ireland. I missed it and it surprises me, but somehow, Mayo has become my home.

  Maybe I was always meant to be here, that it was always my home, but the States was my detour. I don’t know, but the moment we stepped off the plane, I was glad to be home. The trip was good, the weight I had on my chest was gone, and I was ready for our future. Just some things had to change. Quickly, before I lose my ever loving mind.

  Riding in the car, Declan takes my hand and squeezes it. Looking over at him from where I am texting Fiona, I smile. “Thank you.”

  “For?”

  “For taking me,” I answer. “For being there for me.”

  “I always will be.” He sends me a grin then and says, “I need to show ya something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “We are almost there.”

  I nod before looking down at where I am texting Fiona.

  Me: It was a great trip. I feel a billion times better. You’re a genius.

  Fiona: Like ya doubted me. Grand. I’m happy.

  Fiona: Yous two good?

  Me: Yeah, I think. We need to address some things. Like the fact I need out of his mom’s house tomorrow.

  Fiona: Yeah sure, do that but remember that’s his home. The one he grew up in.

  Me: I know.

  Fiona: Grand. Have fun and make sure things are good between yous two before I see ya tomorrow.

  Me: I will.

  When the car stops, I look up to see that we are parked by a field as Declan gets out of the car. Looking around, I see the lake and know where we are, but I don’t understand why.

  “Come on,” he says, opening the door and letting me out. I take his hand and we walk around the car to where a large spot has been marked off. Raising an eyebrow, I look up at him and he is grinning at me, pointing to the space.

  “It’s the most gorgeous blank spot in the world?” I say and he laughs.

  Shaking his head, he gathers me in his arms and takes in a deep breath. “The other day when I came home and I walked in and ya ripped my head off, ran off to Fiona’s, and then we flew to the States?”

  “Not still upset about that, are ya?” I