Taking Risk Series Read online

  I look back at her quickly and shake my head. “No, Amberlyn, I’ve dreamed of making you my wife since I met you.”

  Smiling, she asks, “Really?”

  A true smile pulls at my lips as I nod. “Yes, I always knew you were it.”

  Still grinning at me, she asks, “Then what is the problem?”

  Clearing my throat, I look up at the ceiling and take in a deep breath before saying, “I just don’t think I’m the man you deserve.”

  When she doesn’t say anything, I meet her gaze to find her brows pulled in. “And why is that?”

  “I should be the one with the gunshot wound, not you. I failed ya.”

  She rolls her eyes, obviously completely annoyed with me. “Declan, you’ve done no such thing. And if you weren’t the man for me, then why did I step in front of that bullet? I did it because I know you are, because I love you and I want you to have everything you ever wanted.”

  “But I couldn’t have it without you.”

  She smiles, cupping my face, her thumb slowly moving along my lip. “You’re completely right. I’m here, so let’s figure everything out.”

  She is too damn headstrong, and I know that if she had her way, she’d plan everything now. She is such a planner and always ahead of the game. I know she just wants to ignore what happened and move on, but we all need to heal from this. We need time.

  I’m a little worried we don’t have it though.

  She’s right; it does need to be planned, but she needs to let me worry about it. One look in her eyes though, tells me that isn’t gonna happen.

  “One week. Rest for one more week, and then we’ll figure everything out.”

  She eyes me. “But we are getting married?”

  I smile, covering her hands with mine. “If you’ll have me, yes.”

  “I’ve already said yes.”

  “I was a bit worried it was the drugs,” I tease and she smiles.

  “Nope, I know what I want, and I want you. So damn much,” she says before pressing her lips to mine. Instantly my eyes fall shut as our mouths move together and a euphoric feeling washes over me. Her tongue moves with mine, her body molding against mine, catching me completely on fire. This is the first time since the shooting that we’ve actually kissed like this. Probably because we’ve never been alone. It’s always been soft, sweet kisses, not toe-curling ones like the one she is giving me now. My heart is pounding in my chest, my cock is growing, and I want more. But this can’t be good for her. No, it can’t, but my God, I want her. I want her so badly, I can’t see straight.

  But not yet.

  Pulling away, I meet her heated gaze and shake my head. “You are supposed to be resting.”

  Her sparkling eyes lock with mine, her breathing is erratic, her breasts pressing into my chest with each breath she sucks in. As I search her eyes, waiting for her answer, I can see that her eyes are slowly starting to fill with tears. Shite! Did I hurt her?

  “Amberlyn, my love, what’s wrong?”

  Tears run down her face as she shakes her head. “I want to forget, Declan. I want to forget that any of it happened. I want to start our life together, I want to be happy, I don’t want to rest and feel sad that my chest hurts, I want to feel whole again. I don’t want him to own anything on me, and the more time we allow me to rest and lie around, the more he is winning. I want to get on with everything. I want to start our life. I want to feel alive.”

  Clearing my throat free of the sob that is threatening to come out, I say, “Amberlyn, I want all that too, but I also don’t want to rush you into this.”

  “You’re not. I want this. I want you.”

  As I cuddle her in my arms, her face presses into my neck and I close my eyes. “I want you too, mo stór, but please, give me one week. I just want to make sure you are okay. Please give me that.”

  Pulling away a bit, she looks deep into my eyes and says, “Only if you stop blaming yourself.”

  Looking away, I suck in a deep breath. She sees right through me, doesn’t she? “It isn’t your fault. I’ve told you this so many times, and I can see in your eyes that you are blaming yourself. That has to stop or we can’t move forward. I made the choice; I had to protect you—”

  “But it isn’t your job to protect me, yeah?” I point out.

  “You protect the ones you love, and I did that. I know you’d do the same for me.”

  “But I didn’t.”

  “Declan, he was shooting at you.”

  “I should have known he wasn’t playing around.”

  “Maybe so, but whatever. It’s over. It’s time to move forward. In no way, shape, or form do I think this is your fault. I hold no one responsible but him. I love you.”

  I move my fingers along her jaw as I focus on her lips. I don’t know how to let go of my guilt, but I know I need to try. I have to, or this beautiful woman who has taken me as hers will plan a wedding within a week with not a care in the world for the wound on her chest. Since that wouldn’t be protecting her, I have to push all the guilt aside and focus on her. Meeting her gaze, I say, “Fine, I won’t blame myself anymore. It’s all that gobshite’s fault.”

  Still holding my gaze, she says, “You have to forgive him.”

  “Over my dead body,” I spit back. “I can forgive myself, but I hope he rots.”

  She shakes her head as she slowly shrugs her shoulders. “Fine, but please try.”

  “Sure,” I say, but we both know I won’t.

  “We have better things to do.”

  I smile. “Oh?”

  “Yup, wedding to plan ’cause I want a huge one. I’m becoming a princess for goodness’ sakes,” she says with a wink, and I smile.

  “I’ll give you the biggest damn wedding ever as long as you keep smiling like that.”

  Her smile doesn’t move as she wraps her arms around my neck. “Good, but we do have one other thing to worry about.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yup, the small matter of my virginity.”

  I close my eyes as I shake my head. “Ah, Amberlyn, later on that. I couldn’t imagine that right now. My need for ya is so fuckin’ wild, I’d probably tear ya to pieces.”

  She giggles beside me. “Isn’t that the point?”

  I shake my head against hers, my cock throbbing in my shorts as I gaze into my future wife’s eyes. “A week. Give me a week and we’ll talk everything out.”

  “So if I got naked right now, you wouldn’t take me?”

  I groan loudly as her laughter fills the room. I smile widely and look over at her. “You wanted a laugh.”

  “I did.”

  “At my expense?”

  She nods, cuddling into me. “I just want us to feel normal.”

  Taking her tightly in my arms, I kiss her fully on her lips and then smile against them. “It feels great for sure, my love. Thank you.”

  She grins, running her fingers through my hair. “I love you.”

  “I love you more, sweetheart,” I say against her lips. “And if you were naked right now…”

  “Yeah?” she asks with a teasing grin.

  “I think I might die from the pure beauty of ya.”

  She giggles and shakes her head as I continue, “But if I don’t, then I’m hightailing it out of here. Your uncle is sure to have me killed if he caught us.”

  That has her dissolving in giggles. Which is what I want. I want her happy.

  Because she is everything to me.

  Chapter 3

  Declan

  Like I wanted, Amberlyn falls asleep with her nose against my neck. It’s cold, but I don’t mind; hopefully, she’ll warm up a bit. Closing my eyes, I want to fall asleep too. I’m so damn tired. It’s been a long two weeks. Worrying constantly if she is okay and praying that she would heal. By the grace of God, she is, but still I’m finding it hard to sleep. My mind is going a hundred kilometers per hour.

  She is so set on marrying me, but I can’t help but think I did this all wrong. I was wrong