Boarded by Love Read online

  “I don’t take my clothes off,” she cries. “I dance in panties and a bra.”

  “Don’t fucking lie to me any more than you have,” I sneer. “I’ve been to that place.”

  Her eyes fill with more tears as she nods. “I know, but you probably went to the Rock Room side. I work on the Burlesque side. I keep my clothes on. I do entice men for money, but they don’t touch me or ever see me naked. It’s not a big deal,” she says, and I laugh but with no humor.

  “So if it isn’t a big deal then why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, taking a step toward her. “If you weren’t doing anything wrong, then why didn’t you fucking tell me?”

  Tears start to roll down her cheeks in waves, and something inside me just breaks. “I’m sorry, but you have to understand. I needed the money. I needed to know that I would always be safe and secure. I would never go hungry or have to sleep in a car to make it.”

  “What the fuck am I, Claire? I would never let that happen. I would work nine jobs just to make sure you are safe and happy! But no, you go and whore yourself out and lie to me,” I insist. “I would do anything for you, and I have. I haven’t lied to you or hurt you, and you’ve been lying to me our whole relationship!”

  “You don’t understand, Jude! I went through hell, and I promised that I would never depend on anyone again because the people I trusted and loved left me to fend for myself. I wouldn’t eat for days; I had to sleep in a little section of the car because my mom would sprawl out, giving me no room. I had nothing. I had no one, and I thought money would be the way to fix that. I thought as long as I had money, then I wouldn’t need anything else, but I realize that I was wrong. I need you and I need my family, but I let the fact that I was making so much money ruin that, and in the process I lied to the two men I love and need more than my next breath,” she cries, big wet tears rolling down her cheeks and landing on her shirt.

  As much as I want to gather her in my arms and tell her it’s okay, I know it’s not. I love this girl, I mean, I fucking do, but I refuse to be lied to. I refuse to be a doormat like my mother is. Claire has hurt me, honestly broken me. Like I feel as if she has carved my heart hollow and I just don’t understand. How do you lie to someone you love? Looking away, I take in a deep breath, willing myself to breathe and not lose my shit. I want to scream; I want to yell and even shake her to make her see how much she’s hurt me. That thought scares me to the core, but I know I’d never put a hand on her.

  Looking up at me, her face full of black streaks from her makeup running, she whispers, “Jude, I’m so sorry.”

  “Sorry?” I scoff. “This isn’t something that you can be sorry for because you knew you were wrong!” I yell, my own eyes filling with tears. “How did you look at me every night and day and hold this from me? You know how I feel about people looking at you, wanting you. You know how jealous I can get. I’ve learned to let it go because I trust you, but what am I supposed to think now? How am I ever supposed to trust you again?”

  “I swear, I’m done, Jude. I only want to work backstage. I have a huge deal coming my way. I promise, I’ll never get on that stage again if you say not to and–”

  “Claire, stop!” I shout, make her cringe as she wipes her palms against her legs. “This is not okay. You know how I feel about you, how I love you more than anything in this world, and you just don’t care. You don’t fucking respect me. You lied and you sold yourself for money.”

  “I never sold myself!” she yells. “I danced. Something I love, and yes, I tried to seduce men with my body for money, but I promise, Jude, I swear, no one has ever touched me. I’m yours.”

  When she tries to grab for my hands, I move them out of her reach, shaking my head. “No, you’re not, or you wouldn’t have lied to me,” I say, dying with each word that leaves my lips. “You’re basically your mother. Better pick up the crack pipe since you have the stripper part down.”

  When her hand comes cracking against my face, I know I deserve that. As the sting of her hand burns my skin, my eyes don’t leave hers. She’s crying, sobbing as she looks up at me. I know I shouldn’t have said that, but I want her to hurt the way I do. Childish, fuck yeah, it is, but I’m basically dying right now.

  “How dare you, Jude? I know I’m wrong, and I know that I should have told you, but calling me names is uncalled for. I understand that you’re upset, but what you just said to me is not fucking okay.”

  “Um, Jude.”

  Tearing my gaze from hers, I look to see my brother beside us, his face contorted in shock. Unable to speak, I just look at him until he finally says, “Some shit is going on at the house. We need to go.”

  I nod once and then turn to look at Claire. “We have nothing else to discuss. We are done.”

  “What?” she screeches, taking ahold of my arm but I shake it loose.

  “Don’t touch me,” I warn and her eyes widen in shock.

  “Don’t do this. Give me time to explain and apologize,” she begs, but I shake my head.

  “I did that, and I can’t do it. We’re through, Claire. I’m disgusted with you. I can’t even look at you,” I sneer before starting for Jayden’s car. His eyes are wide, but he walks with me as I ignore Claire’s pleas.

  “Jude, please! Stop, don’t do this!” she cries but I shake my head.

  “Leave me alone, Claire,” I say, opening the door.

  “If you get in that car and drive away without fixing this with me, then I swear to God, I’ll never speak to you again.”

  Looking over my shoulder at her, I nod. “Good.”

  With that, I get in the car and slam the door shut. Jayden doesn’t say anything; he just drives off, and I watch as she gets smaller and smaller in the side mirror. When I can’t see her anymore, that’s when I allow a tear to slowly roll down my cheek. When Jayden’s hand squeezes my shoulder, I stiffen up and wipe it away quickly.

  I only wish I could wipe away the pain in my chest.

  Nothing is said as we drive out to my parents’ home. Jayden doesn’t remove his hand, and I appreciate the support. I need it, but I wish I could just be alone, lick my wounds, and prepare to wake up tomorrow knowing that the first thing I’m not going to do is text her. I told her we’re through, but how do you completely let go of someone who is basically an extra appendage to you? How do you just stop loving someone? I know I have to, though. She lied to me, over and over again, about something she knew was wrong. That is the worst kind of lie, in my opinion.

  Leaning my head back in the seat, exhaustion takes over, and I squeeze my eyes shut to keep from crying. I can’t believe this has happened. In one night, two relationships were ruined because of lies and deceit. The person I thought to be the most beautiful, amazing, perfect woman in the world just ripped my heart out and broke it. Broke me.

  Tears sting my eyes and I fight them away as I take in lungfuls of air.

  How did this happen?

  Why did it happen?

  I don’t have those answers, and when we pull up to my parents’ house, all the lights are on, the front door open. But that’s not what I see first. I see my dad throw a punch and hit Jace dead in the jaw.

  “Fuck!” Jayden yells, and before the car even comes to a stop, I jump out, running full speed toward my dad and push him to the ground. Standing above him, I yell, “Get the fuck up!”

  “Jude! No!” my mom cries from the porch.

  “You son of a bitch, you broke my arm!” my dad yells from the ground, and a smirk replaces the line my lips were in.

  “Good, get up so I can break your fucking face,” I sneer. “You don’t hurt my family and get away with it.”

  I feel Jayden flanking my left and then Jace on my right, but my eyes don’t leave the man who is more a sperm donor than anything else.

  “Boys, please!” my mom sobs, but all three of us ignore her. “Just leave, Mark, and don’t come back.”

  “Shut the fuck up,” he sneers at her, and I don’t like that one bit.