Boarded by Love Read online

  I could have lived without love, but I learned I thrive with it. And now that I’ve have it, I can’t be without it.

  “Remember you have that pole class next week,” Reese reminds me as I stuff my face with a piece of sushi.

  Nodding while covering my mouth, I chew up the piece and then wash it down with water before saying, “Yeah, Wednesday, is everyone coming?”

  She smiles. “Well, Piper is bitching ’cause she’s pregnant and doesn’t know why I’m making her continue the class when she’s getting bigger, but I told her to shut up. We started as a group, we’ll finish as a group.”

  “Awesome, I can’t wait to see everyone,” I say, speaking of my Assassins family.

  “Yeah, they are excited. I heard Fallon is getting a pole installed in the bedroom,” she laughs and I laugh along.

  “I bet Uncle Lucas loves that.”

  “You know he does,” she says, shaking her head. “They are crazy, but it’s fun.”

  “Agreed. I’m using that dance for one at Ms. Prissy’s. Do you think that’s bad? Like recycling dances?”

  “No, not at all. It’s a private class. We’re just testing the waters, no big deal.”

  “Okay, cool,” I say. “Ms. Prissy was telling me some investors are coming.”

  “Wow,” Reese says, looking up at me. “That’s huge. When I was there, we had some come from Florida and Texas – opened up two new Prissy’s and I even went to train the staff. It’s a lot of fun and lots of money to be made. I actually had the chance to run one of the Prissy’s, but I had just been accepted to the dance company. Make sure those are the best dances you’ve ever come up with for the club. This could be good for your career.”

  “Yeah,” I say as my stomach drops. “Do you think it could be a career? Burlesque?”

  She nods as she meets my gaze. “Claire, you could be the best burlesque choreographer I’ve ever seen. You have amazing talent. That’s why Ms. Prissy pays you way more than she ever paid me. You’re doing well for yourself. Not everyone can say they make two grand for a two-minute piece at the age of nineteen. Lord knows, I couldn’t. You could own your own club and succeed, so make sure you impress those investors.”

  “I will. I really want this. I think that it would be good not only for Ms. Prissy but for me.”

  “It can be. Believe me. Big things can happen, babe.”

  I smile, excited about it all. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and hoping that maybe this is my break to get into the world of dance. Choreographing amazing dances for Las Vegas shows would be amazing, and I love burlesque. It’s so sexy and fun, and I know I’m good at it.

  “Can I come and show you what I’ve got so far?” I ask, needing her support.

  “Of course.”

  “Thanks,” I say and then I chew on my lip for a moment, mulling over the words in my head before I ask what I’ve been wanting to ask for a while. Reese had worked for Ms. Prissy all summer long for four years when she was home from college. She would also sell pieces to Ms. Prissy by videotaping them and sending them to her when she was gone. Like she’d said, Ms. Prissy paid her well, but she pays me better. Which works great for me – I’m making a lot of money and doing something I love. Not many people can say that.

  But that’s not what’s bothering me. I’m good with my money and my work, but I’m not good with hiding it from Jude or even Phillip.

  Looking across the table, I ask, “So did anyone know you worked there?”

  She shakes her head. “Nope. Not even Piper knew until my third year there. Then she started working there,” she says with a laugh.

  I smile as I pick up a piece of sushi before throwing it in my mouth. When my phone starts to sound with a text, I chew my piece as I dig my phone out of my pocket to see that it’s a text from Jude.

  Hey Jude: Wanna eat some food on a blanket outside?

  I laugh. Like a picnic.

  Hey Jude: saying do u want to have a picnic makes me sound like a girl, so wanna eat on a blanket outside?

  Me: Weirdo. Will there be waffles?

  Hey Jude: there will be now.

  Me: Then yes, I’ll love to have a picnic with you.

  Hey Jude: haha. 7ish?

  Me: sounds good.

  Hey Jude: btw…I miss u.

  Me. Btw…I miss u way, way more.

  Hey Jude: I doubt that.

  “Jude?”

  I glance up from my phone to meet Reese’s knowing gaze. Tucking my phone in my pocket, I shrug. “Yeah, how did you know?”

  A grin pulls at the side of her mouth before she takes a drink of her water. “Only a guy can put that grin on your face. You’re basically glowing, Claire.”

  “It’s no big deal,” I say even though I know I’m lying my ass off. I look away shyly. I don’t know why I’m shy about him, but I am, especially in front of Reese. I don’t get why, because with anyone else I’m loud and proud, but she knows me. She can see through me in a heartbeat and will know that he means more to me then I’ll let on.

  “Don’t lie to me. He means something to you and that’s good,” she says and then pauses. When I look up, I see that she’s watching me. “Is he the reason you asked who knew about me in the club?”

  “Yeah,” I say, picking up a napkin and tearing it apart. “I haven’t told him and I feel like I’m lying to him. I don’t want to do that because this is new and perfect, and oh God, Reese, I’m falling for him. He means so much to me in such a short amount of time, and honestly, I don’t think I could lose him.”

  She nods, a smile playing on her lips. “That’s wonderful, Claire. I’m so happy for you and can’t wait to see this blossom for you. I didn’t have a boyfriend back then, so it was different for me, but I’m assuming that you think Jude won’t like his girlfriend dancing for a group of men. Even if it is in a classy way like burlesque dancing.”

  “I don’t think so,” I say. “But I can’t quit. I need the security of that money.”

  Her face scrunches up, and I regret the words I say as soon as they leave my lips. I just got myself in a world of trouble.

  “We’ve been through this, Claire. You don’t need money – we will take care of you.”

  “I know you guys will, but I don’t want to depend on you my whole life. I have to stand on my own two feet.”

  “I understand that, but you don’t have to do something you are ashamed of to make ends meet. We will take care of you.”

  “I’m not ashamed,” I say, but that’s not the whole truth. I love doing this, but I know that Phillip and Jude won’t like it, and because of that, I’m ashamed. Shaking my head, I whisper, “I have to take care of myself.”

  “I wish I could slap your mother. God rest her soul, but I mean, shit, Claire. How much do we have to do to reassure you that we aren’t going anywhere? All these years have passed. Have we left? No, we’re here for the long haul. Beside you, loving you, you know we love you, right?”

  I nod, meeting her gaze. “Of course I do, but–”

  “That’s all that matters,” she says, “We love you. Nothing will ever stop that. You have to quit with this. I know people have come and gone in your life, but sweetheart, we aren’t going anywhere.”

  I want to trust and believe that, I do, but it’s hard. But I grew up with my mom saying, “No one stays forever,” and I believed her. Reese and Phillip could decide they are done with me in an instant. Hell, Jude could too, but while I pick up the pieces of my heart, I have to have something to fall back on. I have to have that security. Money is that. I will always have food and shelter as long as I have money.

  Reaching for my hand, she squeezes my fingers and I look up at her. “Answer me this: do you like dancing onstage?”

  I bite the inside of my cheek so hard I taste blood so I let up. I don’t want to answer her because I know what she’s going to say. But I also know I can’t lie to her. “I don’t like the attention sometimes. I don’t like dancing as someone else, and I don’t like when we