Clipped by Love (Bellevue Bullies #2) Read online

  Jayden’s right across the hall.

  And I want him so bad, it’s unreasonable.

  I keep replaying our conversation last night, and I’m still so breathless. He wants me, and God, I want him. I know all I have to do is walk over there and say, “Hey, wanna hook up?” and he’d be down, but something is keeping me from doing that. It’s driving me insane; I’ve never thought this much about a guy. But here I am, actually sitting here, thinking about the way his hair falls in his eyes. And how that beanie that was on his head last night made him ten times hotter. It’s ridiculous. Pathetic almost, but it’s what I’m doing.

  But still I don’t go over there.

  I mean, come on, I’m a big girl, and being scared of him is a little pitiful. I need to look at this like a game. The variables are there. We have a boy and a girl. They like each other and they want to have fun, get to know each other. But the problem with getting to know each other is that I have to open up parts of me that I never open to anyone because I know Jayden won’t sit back and let me only give him pieces. And I know that’s what’s holding me back. I feel some pretty shitty stuff, and my dad doesn’t even know half of it. No one does, but I know Jayden will want to know.

  He’ll want all of me.

  “Hey, Moore, wanna come down and play Mario Kart?”

  Looking from where I am staring at the ceiling over to Markus, I shake my head. While I love Mario Kart and would love to kick their sorry little asses, I’m too obsessed with figuring out this whole Jayden thing. “Sorry, I’m busy.”

  His brows come up before he says, “You’re lying in the bed, staring at the ceiling.”

  “Thinking,” I point out before waving him away. “Leave me be with my thoughts.”

  But he doesn’t go away. I kinda didn’t expect him to. I’m learning that Markus marches to his own drum; he doesn’t care that I don’t want to be his friend. He’s gonna make me be his friend. Kind of like Delanie did. Maybe that’s how I work, you have to make me be your friend. And shit, that’s sad. I really need to work on that.

  Coming to my bed, he sits down and places his hand on my knee. “Tell Dr. Markus what’s wrong.”

  I laugh as I roll my eyes, pushing his hand off me. “Whatever, get out.”

  “No, you need to talk, and I want to listen,” he says, crossing his arms and grinning down at me. His eyes are such an inviting caramel color. He’s very adorable, and for some reason, I start talking.

  “There’s this guy,” I say, letting out a breath as I sit up.

  Grinning at me, he says, “That’s usually how it starts. Dudes be fucking up females on the real.”

  “True that,” I agree and he grins.

  “And?”

  “And…well, I like him. A lot.”

  “Okay, not seeing a problem. Wait, does he not like you? Because if he doesn’t, he’s an idiot. You’re amazing.”

  Pushing him playfully, I roll my eyes. “Focus, Dr. Markus,” I say, and he laughs.

  “Has anyone ever told you that you don’t take compliments well?”

  Laughing, I nod. “He’s told me that.”

  “So he likes you?” he asks with a goofy grin, and I shrug, looking away.

  “Yeah, and it scares me. So damn bad,” I say softly.

  “Why?”

  Sucking in a deep breath, I shake my head. “Because...I don’t know.”

  “That’s a lie,” he says, and I laugh.

  Does everyone know when I’m lying? Jeez!

  “Because I can’t control it. I can’t make sure he won’t hurt me. I mean, he already makes me feel stuff that I’ve never felt before, and I haven’t even committed to him. I could fall for him, easy, and I don’t know how to give away that control. I did it before and got my heart broken.”

  When he just grins at me, I make a face. “What?”

  Patting my knee, he goes, “You know this is the most you’ve ever told me about yourself?”

  I look up, meeting his sweet gaze, and I nod. “I don’t do people well.”

  “I know, but it’s good for you. You need people, or you’ll be alone.”

  “Yeah, that’s the rumor I’ve been told.”

  He laughs. “Here’s my thing, Baylor. Is this guy anything like the douche from before?”

  Shaking my head, I bite into my lip. “Not even close. Seth was selfish and only cared about him. This guy is so different. He thinks of everyone else before he does himself, he’s just refreshing and can make me smile. It’s hard to make me smile.”

  “Yeah, Jayden’s good like that. Real team player, and he’s funny as shit,” he says softly, causing my eyes to go wide. “Oh, wait, I wasn’t supposed to know that, right? Okay, ignore that.”

  “You’re such an ass!” I yell, smacking his arm, and he laughs.

  “Dude, it’s obvious y’all are hot for each other. And yeah, you can’t control it, but the best things in life are the things you can’t control.”

  I hold his gaze. “So are the worst things.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. So you just need to decide what you want. Stop being such a control freak,” he adds and I smile.

  “Hey.”

  My smile drops when I hear his voice. Looking toward my door, I find that Jayden is leaning against my doorframe, a grin on his sinful lips.

  Fuck me.

  Getting up slowly, Markus holds his hands up. “I swear, we were only talking.”

  Rolling my eyes, I laugh as Jayden glares at Markus.

  “You don’t have to explain yourself to him,” I say, sending Jayden a look. “He isn’t that scary.”

  “Yeah, because he likes you,” Markus mock-whispers before Jayden starts to laugh again.

  “Sorry to interrupt, but I need to talk to you,” he says to me, and I look away, taking a deep breath. I’m not sure what he heard, and it makes me nervous. Then again, everything I said I’m pretty sure he already knows. But still, my tummy is doing flips, which could be because he is simply magnificent. He’s wearing that damn beanie again, and when the hell did I start getting attracted to beanies? I’m not a fan, I think they are dumb looking, but on him, with his scruffy jaw and green eyes blazing… Good Lord almighty, I’m officially a fan!

  “No big deal, I was just leaving,” Markus says quickly before sidestepping him to get out of the room.

  Rolling my eyes, I say, “Can you not scare my friend, please?”

  His eyes widen as he chortles. “So you’re making friends, eh?”

  Shrugging my shoulders, I say, “I was told it would be good for me.”

  “Smart guy that told you that,” he says with a wink, and I grin.

  “Maybe.” I hold his gaze, unsure what to do next. “Are you gonna come in?”

  “No, let’s go for a walk,” he says before throwing my leather jacket at me.

  “It’s chilly for a walk,” I say, putting my arms in it as I pull my sweat pants up since they were hanging low.

  “Eh, we’ll be okay,” he says, and when I look up, his eyes are dark. “You get cold, I could keep you warm.”

  “I bet you could,” I tease back as I zip my jacket up.

  “All you have to do is ask,” he challenges, and I grin back at him.

  It’s so funny how I’ve become comfortable with him. He’s the only person who I truly smile for. Even with my dad it’s sometimes forced just to make him happy, but Jayden, it’s different. He makes me happy. Which again, freaks me out because if it’s this easy to be comfortable with him, how am I going to be when I’m not with him. We will leave each other. I mean, we could go on the same team, but that’s so unrealistic and probably won’t happen. But above all that, how the hell do I even know he’ll like me once he gets to know me? I’m not that great.

  Ugh, this shit is so hard.

  Walking past him, I grumble at him, “Let’s roll.”

  But he stops me, grabbing my wrist and whipping me around. “What’s wrong?”

  I shake my head. “I don’t kno