Clipped by Love (Bellevue Bullies #2) Read online

  Because I know he’s the kind of guy you fall hard for.

  I mean, how could you not? He’s driven, smart, funny, and charming as all hell. He’s protective and he gets along with everyone. The only bad thing about him is his daddy issue, but then doesn’t everyone have some kind of daddy or mommy issue? Lord knows I have my own and they are mile-high, and yet, he still wants me.

  Oh my God, what the hell did I just do?

  Pushing the door open to my dad’s house, I swallow the sob as I slam it shut. I know if I go back to Jayden and tell him I want to try, he’ll take me in his arms and kiss away my tears. That’s Jayden, he doesn’t hold a grudge—but I can’t do that to him. I have to know for sure. I have to be sure that it’s what I want.

  “Bay?”

  As I look across the living room, my dad comes out of his bedroom, pulling his shirt down. I can tell he just got out of the shower but then I see that his eyes are full of worry. Probably because he thinks I’m gonna snap at him again. “Where have you been?”

  Being fucked by Jayden in the stairwell of the rink, and oh my God, it was perfect, but I walked away because I’m scared.

  Any other time, I’d be honest. I mean, it’s my dad, my best friend, but I can’t say it. Dad ruined Seth when things went south and he learned that Seth was using me to get my dad’s favoritism. I mean, like ruined him. Got him picked last in the draft, and he was sent all the way down to the EHL. I mean, that’s the lowest of the lows, not that Seth didn’t deserve it, but still. My dad doesn’t play, and he trusts Jayden, likes him. If I tell him what happened, I’m not sure how he’ll take it.

  He wasn’t too happy when I started dating Seth. It was the first guy I’d ever professed my love for, but he’s always wanted me to find a doctor or lawyer or someone like that. He doesn’t want me to be with a hockey player because he is sure that’s what drove my mom away from him. The constant being gone, and because, really, you’re not married only to the player, you’re married to the game too.

  But I’m completely attracted to them.

  No. I’m attracted to Jayden.

  I want him.

  Ugh.

  “Just clearing my head,” I say sadly, running my hands down my face to keep from meeting his gaze. “I’m gonna go get my things to move.”

  But when I go to leave the room, I don’t get far before he’s wrapping his arms hard around me. I want to stay tense; I don’t want the comfort, I don’t deserve it. I failed. I’m disappointed in myself, but there is something about my daddy’s embrace that has me slowly relaxing against him, pressing my nose into his chest. Then I let go. I cry so hard against him as he holds me close, kissing the top of my hair.

  “Bay, it’s only the captainship. I know you wanted it, but baby, it’s no big deal. It doesn’t define you. You are the best, but you don’t lead, and that’s fine. I wasn’t a leader at your age; that didn’t come till later.”

  I know this. How am I supposed to lead when I won’t even let anyone close enough to know who I am? I nod, sucking in a breath as I rub my nose on his shirt. “I know that, but I never want to disappoint you.”

  He pauses then before slowly lifting my chin to look at him. “Is that what you think has happened?”

  Tears escape from my eyes as I slowly nod. “I saw it in your eyes. You were completely disappointed in me, and I don’t blame you. I failed you. I knew the end goal, I knew what I was supposed to do, and I didn’t perform.”

  He shakes his head and sucks in a breath before letting it out his nose. “I’m hard on you, I know that. I mean, I’m your biggest critic. But Bay, I’m your biggest fan too.”

  “I know that, Dad, but you have every right to be disappointed in me.”

  Looking me deep in the eyes, he shakes his head. “Baylor, never in the twenty-one years of your life have I been disappointed. You never cease to amaze me. You blow me away just by breathing, my sweet girl,” he says, and my lip starts to wobble. My dad isn’t very sensitive, but sometimes he does say the kind of things a girl needs to hear from her dad, and that was one of them. “You are so damn hard on yourself. You beat yourself up more than I could even think to. It drives me insane.”

  “I just want to make you proud,” I repeat and I swear, I sound like a broken record, but I have to remind myself what I am doing. Who this is for.

  “Baby, I am proud. I mean, come on, I don’t know what you saw, but I was just worried about you. I’ve never seen you puke like that.”

  Shrugging, I look away. “I thought you were mad ’cause I couldn’t finish.”

  He scoffs. “Bay, we both know you’d have kept going if I hadn’t told you that you were done. You’re just so damn hardheaded.”

  I nod, wiping my face. “I just wanted it so bad.”

  “I know, baby, but you have to agree with me—Sinclair deserved it.”

  I nod again because I know it’s true. “The team has been his since the start.”

  “I know, and no matter how much I wanted to give it to you, I knew he deserved it. The kid is a natural-born leader.”

  “Yeah,” I agree, and then I close my eyes. “I just hate losing.”

  “It’s a good life lesson for you. Can’t be the best at everything.”

  “Yes, I can,” I challenge back, and he laughs.

  “So damn stubborn,” he says with a shake of his head.

  “I’m my daddy’s daughter,” I say back, and he grins as he nods.

  “You are,” he says before cupping my face and looking deep into my eyes. “Fine, you want to be the best, follow Sinclair’s lead. I’m telling you. That kid is special, and you can learn so much from him. Now that you two aren’t fighting for the same position, maybe you can be a team, friends even. He’s a good guy.”

  Looking away, I bite into my lip. I know that more than he does. He only knows Sinclair, but I know Jayden. And I like both of those guys. A lot. More than I want to admit, and because of that, I’m alone. I have no one here but my dad. I’ve made it my life’s mission to push everyone away because I don’t want to trust anyone, but he keeps coming at me. Seth didn’t even want me like he does. I think I always knew that Seth wanted me for what my dad could do for him, but with Jayden, it’s completely different. He liked me before he knew my dad.

  Maybe I am going about this all wrong?

  “Dad?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Am I a horrible person?”

  His brow comes up. “I don’t think so. I think you’re lovely, and anyone who doesn’t think so is an asshole,” he says simply before laughing, and I smile.

  “But why do I push people away, then? The guys keep trying to make friends with me and I just won’t. I’m too obsessed with getting to my end goal. But Sinclair told me the other day that when I get there I’m gonna be alone because I won’t let anyone in.”

  He holds my gaze for a long time, and soon I don’t even think he’s gonna answer me, but then he says, “He’s right.”

  I was worried he was going to say that. Looking away, I nod. “I know, but I don’t know why I am like this.”

  “Why do you think you are?”

  I shrug since I don’t want to admit why. “I don’t know why.”

  He gives me a knowing look before shaking his head. “I think between your mom leaving us, crappy-ass people you’ve made friends with, and then the shit that went down with Seth, you have a hard time trusting people.”

  I knew all this. I was hoping for something more.

  “And you need to stop, Bay. You need to try to let people in or you’re gonna end up like your old man. Scared shitless because your baby is gonna leave you one day, and then you’ll have no one to talk to.”

  His hazel eyes look deep into mine, and I never realized how alone my dad is. He’s never dated because all we do is hockey. Hockey is our life.

  “I’m never gonna leave you, Daddy.”

  He grins as he shakes his head. “Maybe, but yeah, start making friends. If you want to try