Mahashweta Read online

  One day Hari came home in high spirits. ‘Anupama, I have a friend called Gopal Athrey. It seems there is a vacancy in his office for a clerk. . If you’re interested, we can go for an interview tomorrow.’

  Anupama smiled, ‘That is excellent news.’

  ‘But you’ll have to travel to the Fort area every day.’

  ‘So many people commute, why should I be an exception?’

  The following day, Anupama went to Mr Athrey’s office. She was anxious to get the job so that she would no longer be a burden on Sumi. ‘Please, God,’ she prayed, ‘please let me get this job somehow.’

  She waited in the visitors’ room and watched as the receptionist pulled out a small mirror from her purse and touched up her lipstick. Anupama had never used any make-up, except for a few light touches while acting in plays. She believed that it was not the make-up but the expression and modulation of voice that breathed life into the character that she played. She wondered where all her hopes and dreams had gone. Even in her bleakest moments, she had never seen herself looking for a job as a clerk.

  Her musings were cut short when the receptionist, Dolly, asked, ‘Are you Anupama?’

  Anupama nodded, and was asked to go in.

  There were three people inside. The senior-most of them told her, ‘Your qualifications are very impressive, but this is a clerical post. It involves a lot of repetitive work. If you are sure you want to take it up, you can join tomorrow.’

  Anupama was very happy. She thanked them and left.

  ‘Poor girl!’ Gopal Athrey said.

  ‘What do you mean? She is so beautiful and intelligent.’

  ‘My friend, Hari, was telling me that she has leukoderma and that her husband has left her.’

  ‘But we could not see any patches.’

  ‘Anyway, it does not concern us as long as she is efficient. If you look carefully, everyone has some problem or the other. We should not bother about such things.’

  Anupama’s eyes filled with tears of joy when she received her first salary. She considered it her duty to send some money to her father. She even offered Sumithra money to cover her expenses, but it was Hari who stopped her, saying, ‘How can I take money from you? If I had my sister staying with me, would I take money from her? You are just like a sister to me. You can stay in our house as long as you wish.’

  With financial independence, Anupama’s confidence began to blossom. She had become friends with many of the girls who worked with her. They were from various backgrounds and even different regions of the country, and they lived in different parts of Bombay. None of them ever talked about her skin patches or her past. Anupama, too, had begun to accept her condition and look beyond it. The darkest period of her life was behind her now. She and Dolly travelled to and from work together every day, and they became good friends over a period of time.

  Anupama constantly felt the need to take up accommodation of her own. Sumi and Hari were very cordial with her, but she was afraid that such closeness could end in unhappiness.

  She had requested all her friends to help her find a place to stay. But, so far, she had not been able to find anything that was within her means.

  When Anupama received her Deepavali bonus, she bought a silk sari for Sumi and a silver bowl for Hari. As she gave them the gifts, Hari objected, saying that they were too expensive. Anupama silenced him by saying, ‘This is a gift from your sister for Deepavali.’ She was deeply grateful for the way they had helped her in her time of need.

  One day, Dolly did not come to office. As she was engaged and was emigrating to Australia after marriage, Anupama thought that she was perhaps busy with her preparations for the wedding. But when she called up her house, she was told that Dolly had met with an accident and that she had been hospitalized. Anupama immediately applied for leave and rushed to the hospital. Outside the hospital room, Dolly’s ageing mother, Mary, sat crying, surrounded by a few friends. Most of her family was in Goa, and Dolly was her only daughter.

  When Anupama met the doctor to find out if anything was required, he said, ‘Your friend needs blood. These days the incidence of AIDS is so high that we prefer blood from a known person. Perhaps one of the relatives can help? Dolly has lost a lot of blood; she needs a transfusion as soon as possible.’

  The moment they heard that blood was needed, Dolly’s visitors quietly melted away. Anupama told the doctor, ‘Doctor, if my blood group is compatible with hers, I am ready to give my blood.’ She hesitated for a moment, ‘I suffer from leukoderma—will it affect her in any way?’

  ‘Of course not! Leukoderma cannot be passed on through blood transfusions.’

  Anupama belonged to the same blood group as Dolly. After giving the blood, she went and met Dolly’s mother and persuaded her to go home, promising to stay with Dolly through the night. She did not say anything about having donated her blood.

  Until Dolly left the hospital, Anupama stayed with her every night to help her. Dolly was overwhelmed with gratitude. Holding Anupama’s hand, she said, ‘Anu, how can I ever thank you for all that you’ve done for me?’

  Anupama interrupted her, ‘Don’t talk as though I’ve done something great. You needed some blood and I was able to give it to you. That’s all.’

  Chandrika, one of Anupama’s colleagues at the office, was getting married, and Anupama had taken half a day off to attend the wedding. She knew it would be quite unlike the small-town weddings she had attended so far where the festivites often went on for three days. Chandrika’s wedding would be a short and simple ceremony. Anupama was very excited about attending it; after a long time, she’d again taken an interest in dressing up. She went to the Dadar market and bought a silver bowl before rushing off to the wedding hall.

  It was an unostentatious wedding. Anupama sat in a corner and observed all that was going on. Unbidden, her thoughts went back to her own wedding. What a display of wealth and grandeur! How much money had been spent on the hall, flowers, decorations and the catering! She felt as though it had all been a dream. What was the use of all that expense? The real success of a marriage depended not on superficial factors such as those, but upon love and mutual understanding between husband and wife.

  After the wedding lunch, Anupama went straight home. She’d assumed that the house would be locked as usually, at that time of the day, everyone was at work. But to her surprise she found Hari at home.

  Anupama kept her purse on the table and asked, ‘How come you’re home?’

  Hari smiled at her and answered, ‘I am going away on tour today, and I came to collect my baggage.’

  Anupama did not think there was anything unusual about that as Hari was in the sales department. She went into the bedroom and shut the door behind her, but did not lock it. She started to change out of her new sari when, suddenly, she felt a pair of hands grasping her from behind. She immediately realized who it was and was terrified. She did not know what to do. With great difficulty she turned around, and saw Hari smiling at her. He thought Anupama looked stunning in her new sari. Anupama was extremely angry but Hari thought she looked even more beautiful in her anger.

  ‘Hari, how could you do such a thing?’ Anupama stammered.

  ‘Anupama, your beauty has fascinated me from the moment I first saw you. All I see in my dreams is you. Why are you waiting for your foolish husband? Do you think he will ever come back to you? You are wasting your youth instead of enjoying it. Anu, we can be together without anyone ever coming to know about it. I will protect you, whatever the circumstances.’

  Anupama was so angry now that her face turned crimson, and she did not know what to say. Hari took her silence as consent, and he continued, ‘Anu, compared to you, Sumi looks like a buffalo—I find her dull and unattractive. I have been waiting for so long to tell you how I feel, and today I found the opportunity. Anu, remember, I was the one who got you a job. Won’t you thank me for it?’

  Hari reached for Anupama again. But she gathered her courage and slapped his face