Trouble From the Start Read online

  “I was going crazy, too,” I admitted. Was going crazy now. I hoped he was thinking about kissing me again. I really wanted him to. I glanced around. A few of the houses still had lights on. But there was privacy in the shadows. I almost laughed. It seemed a little late to worry about privacy when our last kiss had been in public and televised to an entire stadium.

  “The thing is,” he said solemnly, “I know kissing you is a bad idea. Us doing anything together is a bad idea.”

  Not what I’d expected. I’d hoped tonight would prove that we could do things together.

  “It was just a baseball game,” I said.

  “It wasn’t and you know it. You wanted it to be a date.”

  If I was honest with myself, he was right. What an idiot I’d been. I did want for us to be more than friends. I wanted what Kendall had with Jeremy.

  Fletcher wasn’t Jeremy.

  “Avery, you’re leaving in a few weeks. I’m staying here. You’re going to college. I’m not. Hell, I’m still in high school. You’re a one-guy kinda girl. I’m not a one-girl kinda guy.”

  At that particular moment I really didn’t like who he was. I thought about trying to convince him differently, but he knew himself a lot better than I did.

  “You really read too much into tonight. It was just a night with friends,” I said and started walking up the street. Now I was glad the darkness hid my face so he couldn’t see my mortification. “I didn’t want to be a third wheel, okay? So tonight I decided to use you.”

  We reached my house. “Don’t worry about the cost of the ticket, Fletcher. It was my treat. You know, for the extra work you’re doing on my car. When will it be ready?”

  “Unfortunately, we had to order a part. It should come in tomorrow but I won’t get a chance to install it until tomorrow evening.”

  “No problem. I’ll take Mom’s car to work.”

  “Knock on my door when you get home tomorrow night and I’ll take you to get it.”

  He said it casually, like we were just friends, like I could knock on the door to the room where he slept and nothing was going to happen. “Will do,” I said with the same casualness.

  “Avery.”

  I hated when he said my name like that, all soft and low, a rumble that seemed to come up from the depths of his soul. Turning, I faced him.

  “I did have fun tonight,” he said. “I like you. But I also realize I’m not what you need.”

  “You don’t know what I need, Fletcher. You don’t talk to me, so you can’t know. You don’t share things. You have this wall around you, and all I can do is knock against it.”

  He gave me a sad-looking smile. “See, you just proved my point. You need someone who will talk to you and share things. That’s just not me.”

  “But it could be if you tried.”

  “That’s the thing, Avery. I don’t want to try.”

  With long strides, he walked over to his motorcycle, put on his helmet, straddled the bike, and started it up. He tore out of the driveway at a speed that probably would have gotten him a ticket if my dad had been around.

  I thought about walking back to Kendall’s and talking to her about this, but I figured she was still in the car with Jeremy, talking about things that happened tonight, making plans for tomorrow, and sharing doubts, worries, or fears. And kissing him. She would definitely be kissing him. Afterward, he wouldn’t make her feel like he wished they hadn’t done all that.

  I opened the door and went inside. Mom was standing in the entryway. I figured she’d come to look out the window when she heard the motorcycle take off.

  “How was it?” Mom asked.

  “Great fun.”

  “Where’s Fletcher going?”

  “I don’t know. He didn’t say. It’s not really any of my business.”

  I headed for the stairs.

  “Avery, are you sure everything is okay?” she asked.

  “Everything’s fine,” I lied.

  In my bedroom, I curled up on the window seat and stared at his door. I couldn’t imagine how lonely it would be over there. Even though I was alone in my room, I could sense other people in the house, moving around. Although I wasn’t lonely here when no one else was around, but that was because this was my home. I had a place here, my place, with all the things that were personal to me, things that meant something to me. I had memories here.

  From what I could tell during the couple of times that I’d been in the FROG with Fletcher, he hadn’t brought anything other than clothes. No personal touches, but then his being there was temporary. I guess that was what bothered me the most: there was nothing permanent in his life, except his bike.

  I knew Fletcher was right. It was crazy for us to start anything when I’d be leaving for school in August. Long-distance relationships had to suck. And they took a lot of work.

  In spite of the way he kissed me, Fletcher and I were friends. That was all.

  I just had to convince myself of that.

  A soft rap sounded on my door.

  “Yeah?”

  It opened, and Mom peered in. “Got a sec?”

  “Sure.”

  She wandered in and sat on the edge of the bed. “Is there something going on between you and Fletcher?”

  How did I answer that? I brought my legs up and wrapped my arms around them. “Not really, no.”

  “Not a lot of conviction in that answer. Maybe you would like for there to be something between you,” she suggested.

  “No.”

  She studied me for a moment. She probably could see through the lie. “He has a lot going on in his life, Avery, things he needs to get straightened out. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  “Fletcher wouldn’t hurt me.”

  “He might not mean to, but he’s a lot older than you.”

  I scowled at her. “He’s a year older.”

  “I’m not talking about a calendar year. I’m talking about experience. He’s been independent. He’s had to grow up fast. Your dad and I have tried to protect you. For good or bad, we’ve sheltered you. We’d like to see you with a nice boy, like Jeremy.”

  A spark of anger shot through me. “Fletcher’s nice. What’s he done to make you think he’s not nice? You taught me not to judge people on rumors. Now you’re doing it.”

  “You’re right. He’s nice. But his situation, his being part of the family now, you seeing each other so much—mixed in with teen hormones—just don’t misjudge your feelings.”

  I knew she was trying to offer me sage advice. And I knew if Fletcher wasn’t living in the FROG that I probably never would have seen him again after I dumped tea on him. I understood that the closeness of his current living arrangement meant we were continually crossing paths. But I also knew that I wanted to know him better, that I wanted to be his friend, maybe more than his friend. It wasn’t because I knew about his father. It was because of Fletcher.

  “I won’t do anything stupid,” I said.

  Mom laughed lightly. “Famous last words.” She got up, crossed over, and hugged me. “Just remember that you have the whole world and a bright future ahead of you.”

  I couldn’t help but think: shouldn’t Fletcher have the same?

  Chapter 24

  FLETCHER

  I sat in a back booth at Jo-Jo’s and thought about the first time that I’d ever eaten at the diner. I’d been twelve, picked up for shoplifting. I didn’t know if all cops would have done it, but Avery’s dad had studied the items I’d lifted and decided that I was hungry, so he’d brought me here. He was right. I’d wolfed down the equivalent of two meals before we left.

  While I ate, he talked about baseball and cars. He pointed out different breeds of dogs that wandered by. Until then I’d just thought a dog was a dog.

  When we were finished, when we were on the sidewalk, I finally got up the nerve to ask him why he hadn’t yelled at me.

  “Figured you’re the kind of kid whose conscience yells louder than I could,” he’d said.