Dark Guardian #4: Shadow of the Moon Read online

  I skimmed my fingers up into his hair. “I can’t imagine what you must have felt. Finding them.”

  Taking my hand, he nibbled on my fingers, signaling that he was changing the subject, that he didn’t want to take a trip down Memory Lane into the dark memories. “I don’t want anything to happen to you when you face your full moon.”

  I forced myself to grin. “Well, something’s going to happen. I’ll transform.”

  “Are you afraid?”

  I was, for myself and him, but I wasn’t going to admit it to him, so I shook my head. “Not yet anyway. Who knows what I’ll feel when the moment comes.”

  Threading his fingers through my hair, he combed them down its length. “I think you’re courageous. I don’t think it’ll defeat you.”

  “Courageous? Uh, did you forget I ran away?”

  He held my gaze. “That took courage. You didn’t know what you’d find out there.”

  Neither had he when he’d begun his trek to Wolford.

  “Are we what you thought we’d be?” I asked.

  “Better. Everyone welcomed me. I wasn’t expecting that.”

  “Why didn’t you let anyone know you’re a panther?”

  “It’s a part of myself I’m not used to sharing. Always hid it from the Statics. Other than my family, no other Shifters were around to share it with. I wasn’t ashamed. Just cautious. Didn’t know how…it would all work out. And I certainly wasn’t expecting you. You’re strong, Hayden. And that makes you sexy as hell.”

  Then he kissed me. I loved the way he kissed. Boldly and with confidence. I rolled into him and he tucked me beneath him. His skin was warm beneath my fingers. I loved the strength I felt in his muscles. Even in human form I could feel the lingering remnants of the big cat: sleek, powerful.

  I felt safe with him. But I was also afraid. Afraid I’d lose this.

  I tried not to think about it. I tried to focus on us, on what I wanted for the future. I fought to remain positive.

  We kissed, talked, and laughed throughout the night. Sharing our pasts, what we remembered of our families, our dreams for the future. I thought I should have been tired when the candles burned out and the sunlight crept in through the cave entrance. But I felt rejuvenated, refreshed, ready to face whatever the coming night might bring.

  I was prepared to meet my destiny.

  And I knew what my answer would be when Daniel declared me as his mate. It would be no. Because I wouldn’t risk losing him.

  SIXTEEN

  We took our time walking back to the manor. It was such a clear, crisp day that it was difficult to accept that a virtual storm was brewing for tonight.

  The closer we got to our destination, the more emotions began flittering in and out of me. Anxiety, fear, dread, anticipation. None of them were mine, but they mirrored mine. I wanted to be brave, I wanted to be strong, but the truth was that I was scared. And I resented like hell that the harvester was tainting what should have been an awesome night of awakening and deepening a bond with my mate. When I’d returned to Wolford at the beginning of winter break, I’d been cautiously hopeful that maybe I would find someone willing to go through my first shift with me. But I’d never expected to find someone like Daniel, someone whom I truly wanted to share that moment with. At times what I felt for him seemed too big to contain. And to know that he had such strong feelings for me—it was a gift I’d never truly expected to receive.

  I didn’t want to throw it back in his face. But I wasn’t willing to risk the consequences that came with accepting it. That saddened and infuriated me. I didn’t realize how hard I was squeezing Daniel’s hand until he joked, “If you don’t loosen your grip, I’m going to have to shift to mend a broken bone.”

  Immediately I let go. “Oh God, I’m sorry.”

  He gave me a tender smile. “It’s okay. Their emotions are starting to invade you, aren’t they?”

  They were, but they weren’t the source of my rising tension or fear. Still I nodded. I wanted to lessen his worries about me.

  He calmly glanced around, as though measuring threats and contemplating possibilities. I wondered if anything unsettled him. Now that I knew he was a panther at heart, I understood the stillness that I’d witnessed in him so many times. I could envision him stretched out on a tree branch, his tail swinging lazily.

  “Maybe we shouldn’t go back,” he said. “Maybe we should return to the cave and wait for your full moon. You don’t need to be bombarded all day with everyone else’s fears and anxieties. You probably have enough of your own.”

  More than enough. They not only centered around me but around him. I’d never understood how much responsibility came with love. As incredible as it was to experience the emotion, it was equally terrifying.

  His idea was so appealing, to simply spend the rest of the day with him, but I found myself shaking my head. “Maybe while continuing to scour through the ancient texts the elders will have discovered something else to help us.” I knew they wanted to find something more foolproof. “I should have stayed with them, helped them search.”

  He touched my cheek in a familiar gesture that I was coming to expect. He was so tough on the outside, but he held such tenderness. “Do you regret spending last night with me?”

  I smiled softly, filtering through the hoarded memories. “I wouldn’t trade anything for last night. But now I have to face reality, and that means shoring up walls.”

  “It sucks.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, but I’m getting used to it.”

  “I guess I could distract you with a kiss.”

  And before I could respond, he did. It was amazing how everything else faded into the background. He was such a great kisser. There was a purpose to the movement of his mouth, almost as though he were painting passion. I didn’t want it to stop. But eventually we had to come up for air, and when we did, he pressed his forehead to mine, and said, “Let’s go back to the cave.”

  Oh, it was tempting. So tempting. “Tomorrow.”

  Leaning back, he studied me, maybe trying to determine if I really thought there would be a tomorrow for us. Finally he accepted whatever it was he saw in my face, took my hand, and started walking back to the manor.

  “So have you tried to block the emotions?” he asked.

  “Every chance I get. Sometimes it’s like there’s a shimmering wall there, but I just can’t make it materialize into something solid.”

  “When was the last time you tried?”

  I peered over at him. The sight of him always gave my heart a little kick. “What difference does it make?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe none. But you’re on the cusp of your full moon. Your other senses are heightening. Maybe you’ll gain the ability to block out what you don’t want to experience.”

  “That would be sweet.” If I could find a way to control what I allowed in, maybe I could even learn to use my ability for something good. “Why do you think your kind scattered?” I asked, needing, wanting to change the subject.

  “It’s the nature of a panther.”

  “You mentioned that you’d come here to learn from us, so you could gather your kind back together. Had you planned to stay?”

  “Plans change.”

  Yeah, they did, I thought. Sometimes the unexpected happened. Daniel had been unexpected—in so many ways.

  It was still early when we arrived at the manor and went inside. No one was around. Daniel and I went up the stairs. At the landing we turned toward a hallway.

  Suddenly emotions flared. Love, desire, so powerful, so strong that they nearly knocked me off my feet. I didn’t know who they belonged to, but they humbled me with their intensity. Closing my eyes tightly, I backed against the wall.

  “Hayden?”

  I shook my head. I had to concentrate. While I knew he could distract me, probably make what I was feeling go away, I wanted to understand what was roiling through me. This was the worst sort of invasion: to know the depths of someone else’s feelings. But