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  Kirarin gave a small sigh and hung up, ending her call with this Teru guy. She immediately started calling someone else. No doubt Yuzan or Toshi or Terauchi, one of her dumb group of friends. She was leaving a message. While I was asleep she must have stolen back the phone I requisitioned. The girl was more formidable than I imagined.

  “Hi, it’s me, Kirarin. Call me, don’t send a text message. Something really big’s happening and I want to tell you about it. See ya.”

  I got out of bed and yanked open the curtains. Beyond the rice field outside there was another love hotel much like this one. It was supposed to be like some European castle, though with a huge dome on top. And on top of that, there was a large orange crescent moon. Kind of surreal. Like a sickle stuck in the head of Atsushi ¯

  Onita, the pro wrestler. I felt excited, like when ¯

  Onita and Mr. Pogo are getting it on in the ring. I got all worked up looking at it.

  “You slept really well. You were snoring.”

  Kirarin hurriedly ended her call and said this in a sweet nasal voice. All of a sudden, I had this stupid memory of how I used to dream of a younger sister. There was a guy in our school who wrote his own porno manga and used to bring them to school, and he’d always have a young girl character in the story who calls the hero “Brother!” And of course this “older brother” commands his “little sister” to take off her school uniform and then takes his time while he enjoys violating her. The girl protests but removes her own panties. How stupid. The guy who wrote this is a superbrain, the kind you know could get into Tokyo University Law Department, so it’s kind of amazing how predictable his manga always were. What really makes me laugh is how when he used to read his manga aloud to everybody he always used this sweet voice for the young girl character. “Brother—please don’t punish me! I’m scared!” My point is that Kirarin’s voice was just like the voice that guy used when he acted out the young girl character from his manga. And it made me really pissed.

  I don’t need a younger sister. I don’t need any women at all. I’ve been transformed. Maybe because I took a bath after we checked into this love hotel. As soon as my salt suit was washed away I completed my new personality. The soul of the former Japanese soldier.

  I used to be way hornier than most guys. When we lived in that condo, I liked the young wife next door; I listened in on their lovemaking and even stole her panties. And after we moved, I enjoyed peeping in on Toshi. But not anymore. I was really happy at my transformation—or evolution, you might say. I had to change, or else I couldn’t steel myself for battle. So I cautioned Kirarin in no uncertain terms.

  “Knock it off with that anime voice.”

  “Well, excuse me,” she said, her face all gloomy. “But that’s my normal voice.”

  “No, it isn’t. When you’re flirting with guys, your voice changes. That’s a part of you I’ll take care of, you can count on it. And who said you could use the phone, anyway?” I grabbed the phone back from her and shoved it in my pants pocket. “It’s been requisitioned by the military. And you stole it. You looking to go into the brig?”

  “Brig? What are you talking about, you idiot?”

  Kirarin turned away, angry. Her expression was still flirty, though—I could tell. She was getting a thrill being with me, the murderer. What a flirt.

  “Nothing stupid about it. Are you going to follow orders or what?”

  “No way. Who the heck do you think you are, anyway?” she complained. I didn’t like the way her lips stuck out when she spoke. It was pornographic. Now that I’d done my mother in, I had to mow down all the rest of the pornographic women in the world. Somebody’s got to give the order. I glanced around the room, looking for an officer. But no one was there.

  “Stop talking like that.”

  “How can you say that?” she said. “You make me so angry. Who paid for this hotel, anyway? You said you wanted to go to Karuizawa, but you were getting so sleepy you almost passed out on the street. I should have just left you. Without me, they wouldn’t have let you stay here. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so nice to you.”

  “I collapsed because it was a long, hard march.”

  “You’re schizo, you know that?”

  Kirarin laughed shrilly. Her laughter hurt my ears, and I wanted to rip my head off. The reality came to me—I’m alone on the front line, the only one still fighting the war. Before that old Filipino man and woman can torture me, I’ve got to escape into the jungle. And regroup for the next battle. My war has just begun. That’s the world I’m in—my world. And I have to train this woman to be a combatant, as soon as possible. ’Cause I’m the veteran soldier.

  “Hey there, recruit! Suck me.”

  I said it just to harass her, but my penis started to visibly harden.

  “Are you crazy? No way.” Kirarin brushed my hand aside with unexpected force and escaped to a corner of the room. “You’re the worst. Something’s wrong with you, you know that?”

  “Of course it is. I wasted my old lady. I ran after her like this and smacked her a good one right in the head with my bat. Could you have done that?”

  I snatched up a pillow and swung it around hard, like it was a bat. Fuzz and strands of hair and pubic hairs flew all over the place. Kirarin stared at the pillow, then at me, like she’d never seen such a gross sight in her life.

  “No way I could do that,” she said. “I like my mom.”

  “What about your dad, then?”

  “My dad? That I might consider,” Kirarin said, her gaze suddenly flitting about the room. “My dad’s a totally cold person. When I was in junior high, we got this call late at night. When I picked up, a woman was on the other end and said, ‘Are you there, Daddy? If you are, give it to me. I’m gonna die.’ Is that the kind of thing you should say to a child? I don’t think so. I was so pissed. Go ahead and die, why don’t you, I thought. But I was still little, so I went and woke up my father. I was careful to make sure Mom didn’t find out. And Dad just pretended to be asleep and ignored me. So this is the kind of man he is, I thought—pitiful. I felt sorry for the woman, but one of them was as bad as the other. And I started to hate my mother, too, since she’d chosen this kind of guy to marry. I went through a stage where I was angry and distrusted all adults. I hate all you jerks, I thought. Especially my father. Many times I felt like killing him. But I don’t care anymore. I don’t feel like murdering him. ’Cause I’m old enough to do whatever I like on my own now. That’s why I think you were wrong. You went too far. I really feel sorry for your mother, you know. You’re going to suffer the rest of your life.”

  This declaration of hers really pissed me off. My life proceeds at a different speed from other people’s. This is kind of an out-of-date way of putting it, but ever since the murder I’ve been turbocharged. I’m free to change my world any way I want to. No more being told what to do, having people lay a guilt trip on me. I’m in control. I’m the commander in charge of the battle to create my world. Still, Kirarin’s attitude made me uneasy.

  “Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?” I said. “You didn’t grab my weapon by any chance, did you?”

  I rummaged around in my backpack, which I’d put next to my bed. The butcher knife I’d just bought had to be inside. My tool to kill them all before they get to me—before that scrawny old coot hauls me out to the main square and drop-kicks me, before the old hag spits all over me, before they bash me over the head with a hammer. The knife was still flat inside its box. Kirarin was covering her mouth with her hand, but she was clearly sneering at how upset I’d got.

  She doesn’t get it. I suddenly realized this. This girl just doesn’t get it. I’m in the middle of a war and she doesn’t give a damn. Which is why she’s laughing. She just came to see me in the midst of battle. She, and all her little friends, are just having a ball observing me. You’re right. I killed my old lady. And I’ll probably cry about it the rest of my life. But enough with your cheap sympathy—I don’t need it. I got even angrier.