Out of Time Read online

  “I’m not. This is me being evolved.” He looked down at her upturned face and the air seemed to squeeze right out of his lungs. He let the emotion rise up inside him rather than push it back down the way he used to. But, shit, it still scared him. She held his heart in her palm, and it made him feel vulnerable in a way he never had before. “I thought I was doing a good job.”

  She laughed, and her eyes crinkled at the edges the way they used to a long long time ago. “You are. I just didn’t know what to look for. Next time you have the look of someone with Icy Hot in your jock, I’ll know what it means.”

  He grimaced at the thought. That had happened to him once when he was the FNG (fucking new guy on the team) and the memory still made him wince with remembered pain.

  “Next time?”

  He knew he sounded too hopeful, but he couldn’t hold it back.

  She nodded. “I was coming to tell you that you better come back with just one bullet hole in you because that’s all I can deal with right now.” She looked up at him, the emotion he’d never thought to see again shimmering in her eyes. “I was so scared, Colt. I thought I’d lost you again.”

  Colt pulled her in tight, closing his eyes and letting his cheek rest on the top of her head. The feeling of overwhelming relief swept over him. She was going to give him another chance. He couldn’t believe it.

  But he probably shouldn’t mention how much the one bullet hole hurt, and that he had no intention of adding to his pain tonight.

  Finally he pushed her back to look in her eyes again. “You’re sure?”

  She nodded and drew away. She walked over to her purse, which was on the desk, and pulled out the same file she’d showed him before. He didn’t stiffen when she handed it to him.

  He gave her a wry look, assuming she wanted him to agree to the adoption. “Your terms, huh?”

  She gave him a funny look and then shook her head. “No. Just look.”

  He opened the file and his heart jackknifed. Pretty much everything inside him flipped upside down and the blood drained out of him. He looked at her, not knowing what to say. The adoption papers that she’d filled out had been torn in half.

  “I love you, Colt,” she said. “And if you love me that’s all I need to be happy. That’s enough. You’re enough.” She smiled. “More than enough.”

  He was floored. It felt like everything inside of him had hit the ground at his feet. He knew how much having a child meant to her, and the fact that she was willing to give it up for him . . . what the hell did you say to that? “Humbled” didn’t cover it by half. “Shame” covered the rest. What kind of selfish asshole made the woman he loved think she had to choose between him and a baby?

  He forgot that he didn’t even want to look at the bed and instead sat down on it. His legs weren’t feeling very strong. “Jesus, Kate. I don’t know what to say. I do love you. But I never meant for you to . . . you don’t need to do this. I know how much a child means to you.”

  She sat down next to him. “But you mean more, and I want you to know that. Although if we are going to give this another shot, you have to agree to see a counselor with me and at least talk about the possibility of adopting in the future. But if it’s really something that you don’t want, I can accept that.”

  Colt had already figured out what he wanted, and at that moment he was certain of it. If she loved him enough to do something like this, he would love her enough to put aside some of his own fears.

  The possibility of how to do that had come to him in the hospital. It might take a little work, but he would see that it happened.

  She mistook his silence for resistance. “Colt? Is that okay?”

  He swept her into his arms and kissed her before there could be any confusion. It was better than okay. It was fucking perfect. Kate had made him the happiest man in the world, and he would do everything in his power to see that she never regretted it.

  It turned out the bed didn’t bother him as much as he thought. He put it to good use for the next fifteen minutes—which was as much time as he had—and couldn’t give a damn who’d slept there before. He was going to be the only one to sleep there from now on.

  Twenty-five

  Scott knew he wouldn’t be able to relax and focus on the mission until he and Natalie came to a little understanding. Mostly about how she wasn’t going to ever scare the shit out of him like that again.

  After the op brief broke up, he found her in the kitchen with Kate. He told his sister that he needed to talk to Natalie in her guest room.

  But talking wasn’t really on the agenda. Never one to mince words—or actions—he made his point in about fifteen minutes, which was about as much time as it took to shut the door, tug down the necessary clothes, lift her up against the door, and sink in deep and hard over and over until they both felt a lot better.

  It was maybe a little primitive, but it was damned effective.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered in his ear when he’d collapsed against her afterward.

  He didn’t say anything for a moment. Scott wasn’t just coming back down to earth and trying to find his breath again; he was also taking a minute to savor the connection and the soft, silky warmth of her body.

  God, how he loved this woman. He intended to spend the rest of his life showing her how much.

  He didn’t know how this was going to all go down, but he knew they were going to be together, and he’d do everything in his power to see that she wasn’t held responsible for any of this.

  Finally he pulled back enough to run his thumb down the curve of her cheek. “No more Lone Ranger, Nat. We’re a team. You and me, okay?”

  “Roger that, sir,” she said with a mock salute. She gave him a wry smile. “I got the message loud and clear.”

  “Good, because I don’t have enough time for a repeat.”

  She laughed and pushed him back so they could redo their clothes, and a few minutes later he was kissing her good-bye.

  It was her turn to look worried. “I don’t like this,” she said.

  “I know.” He gave her a kiss on the head before letting her go. “But I need to do this. I need to finish it.”

  He owed it to the nine of his men who’d been killed to find out the truth and bring who was responsible to justice.

  She understood and nodded. “I love you.”

  “Good. Now hold that thought until I get back.”

  Scott said good-bye to Kate and left. He was the last one in the car. Baylor was driving the big black Navigator that he’d arrived in. Scott assumed it was armored and had been lent by Marino.

  Donovan, who’d taken shotgun, turned and looked over the backseat as he slid in behind Scott. “Feel better, LC? You were looking a little edgy there for a while.”

  Scott usually tried to minimize the swearing, but that rule tended to fall by the wayside with Donovan. “Fuck you, Dynomite.”

  The big blond operator who looked like he rode in on a surfboard just grinned. Apparently they all guessed what he’d been up to, and they were all snickering.

  “Good to know you’re human, Ace,” Baylor said with a snide grin. “We were worried.”

  Scott had given him hell when Baylor had put the book aside a few times when he had met his soon-to-be wife, Annie. He supposed he had a little bit of crow to eat.

  Scott turned to Colt, who was seated next to him, and noticed he was also looking relaxed and smiling. Smiling! His eyes narrowed. “Anything I should know about, Smitty?”

  It was the first time Scott had called him by his call sign in about three years. “Smitty” came from Smith, which came from Smith & Wesson. Colt had once told him that as an infant he’d been abandoned at a police station by his birth mother. The officer who’d found him had taken to calling him Colt because he’d kept reaching for his gun. It had stuck. The director of the orphanage had come up with