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  Kelly looked up, waiting until Tovah’d nodded before continuing.

  “Anyway, I was swimming against the waves, letting them bounce me up and down. And then all at once there was this…” Kelly shuddered, the movement pronounced and sudden. She grimaced, as if something tasted bad.

  Tovah waited.

  “It’s so silly!” Kelly cried, though her face showed she felt anything but silly.

  “Tell me,” Tovah said softly.

  They had the locker room to themselves. With nobody else to overhear them, Kelly seemed to draw courage. She swiped at her face with her towel, though the sweat had already dried.

  “It was a ball. A red-and-white ball.”

  Tovah reached for Kelly’s hand on instinct, though she wasn’t normally touchy-feely. “What happened, then?”

  Kelly squeezed Tovah’s fingers and laughed self-consciously. “Nothing.”

  “That was it?”

  “Just the ball. It floated in the water. Up and down, up and down.” Kelly shuddered again, but more like she was throwing off the residue of her fear than giving in to it again. “Like I told you. Stupid.”

  “And…nothing else?”

  The red-and-white striped ball. The boy. The woman and the man with the dog’s head. Tovah shivered.

  Kelly looked curious. “No. Just that. Except that when I saw it, I felt like I was drowning. I woke up right away. Scared Frank half to death, poor guy. He was just coming in, and I sat straight up in bed screaming bloody murder. I even…well, I hit him, Tovah. Really hard. Gave him a nosebleed and everything. I didn’t mean to, you know? But that dream…it took me a few minutes to get out of it. I thought he was something bad. My Frank, a bad guy! Can you believe it?”

  Kelly’s laugh teased one from Tovah, too. Relieved that her friend seemed better, she got up again to gather her shower equipment. She pulled the folded piece of heavy vinyl lined with Velcro around the top and shook it out until it fell straight. At home she’d have taken off her prosthetic, but this would protect it from the water long enough for her to rinse off. It was easier and attracted less attention than actually removing her leg would have.

  “Well,” Tovah said firmly, “it was just a dream.”

  Kelly nodded, her laugh this time fake. “Oh, I know. But it felt…”

  Tovah waited, but Kelly didn’t continue. “What?”

  Kelly shook her head and shrugged. “When I woke up, I felt like it was all still happening. Only nothing happened, right? But it was all happening, it was all real. I saw that ball and the world was going to just…fall apart. Lame, I know, right? Poor Frank. He’s lucky I didn’t give him a shiner.”

  “Super lame,” Tovah said, mocking fondly, even though she didn’t mean it.

  She knew what Kelly had felt, about the world falling apart. This was bad. Very bad. And there was nothing she could do about it right now…or maybe ever.

  “So…what happened last week?” Kelly’s bright smile and knowing wink left no question as to what she meant. She seemed to have recovered from sharing the nightmare. “After me and Pete left?”

  Tovah hadn’t even been thinking about that. “Oh. Nothing.”

  “Do you mean nothing as in you’re not going to tell me because I’m nosy, nothing? Or…really nothing?”

  “Really nothing.” Tovah followed Kelly to the large open shower. In moments steam wreathed them.

  “But he was so into you!”

  “Yeah, apparently not.”

  “But…Pete said John thought you were really funny and hot!”

  “Apparently only as long as he thought I was putting out.” She scrubbed her face under the water.

  “Men,” Kelly huffed. “Sex-crazed weasels. What a jerk!”

  “It’s okay.”

  “You are way less upset than you should be, that’s all. Might it have something to do with a certain doctor?”

  “Martin?”

  “Ooh,” Kelly said, rinsing quickly and turning off the water. “First name basis. Niiiiiice.”

  Tovah turned off her water, too, and wrapped her towel around her. “Stop it.”

  “Stop what?” Kelly made a face of mock innocence. “One day he’s Dr. Feelgood—”

  “Goodfellow!” Tovah laughed. “His last name’s Goodfellow.”

  “Yes, but now he’s Maaaaartin.” Kelly drew the name out, making it sound lecherous. “And you have a date with him.”

  She paused, staring as Tovah made her way back to the locker and began drying herself. “Oh, wait…you had a date with him? Didn’t you! Spill it!”

  “No!” Tovah protested. “It wasn’t a date. We just had lunch together, that’s all. I was visiting Henry and he was there, and…”

  “He asked you to lunch?”

  “Yes.” Tovah grabbed her clothes.

  “He paid?”

  He had, actually, but Tovah felt funny admitting it. “He’s a gentleman.”

  “Date,” said Kelly in triumph. She whistled under her breath and shook her hips in an impromptu bump and grind. “And you’re seeing him again when?”

  “Friday afternoon. He’s looking at the house then. And it’s just coffee,” Tovah said, before Kelly could interject. “He likes coffee.”

  Kelly stared a bit, then concentrated on pulling on her clothes. “He was a cheater, wasn’t he?”

  “Who? Martin?” Tovah paused in buttoning her shirt. It took her a second to get it. “Oh. Kevin. Yes, he was.”

  “Bastard.” One of Kelly’s best qualities was her unquestioning loyalty.

  “There was a lot going on.” Tovah had made a habit of excusing Kevin, though she hated it.

  Kelly’s look told her there could be no excuse in her mind. “Does that matter?”

  “No. I guess it doesn’t.”

  Kelly looked at Tovah’s left leg. “He left you because of that?”

  “Does anyone ever leave because of just one thing?”

  Kelly paused, then shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess not.”

  “Anyway, technically I asked him to move out.” Tovah sighed. “It was a bad time for me. I was in the hospital for so long with my injuries and he couldn’t deal with it. And then…things just went sour. I went a little crazy.”

  “Who wouldn’t?” Kelly said firmly.

  “I mean I really did.” Tovah took a slow, deep breath. “I’m talking meds crazy. I was in the Sisters of Mercy Hospital for about six months.”

  Kelly, bless her, didn’t seem fazed. “Did it help you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then that’s what matters. And you’re free of your cheating ex-bastard.”

  “If only.” She outlined the sordid tale of settlements and payments.

  “God,” said Kelly. “No wonder you don’t want to date.”

  Tovah laughed loudly, grateful for a friend who understood and didn’t push her all the time. “Every time I think I might want to, I realize just how much of a pain in the ass it is.”

  Kelly nodded, then reached to squeeze Tovah’s shoulder. “Have you been with anyone since Kevin?”

  It felt like a lie to answer no, but that’s what she said.

  “Because you’re nervous.”

  Tovah didn’t have to pretend otherwise. “Of course. It’s bad enough getting naked for the first time with someone and worrying about belly blubber and thunder thighs…but…”

  “Anyone who cares about you won’t care. You know that.”

  “Yeah,” Tovah said with a shrug. “That’s the problem, isn’t it? Finding that person?”

  Kelly gave Tovah’s shoulder another squeeze. “You will.”

  Tovah smiled, wishing she could tell her friend the truth, that she had found someone like that.

  He just wasn’t real.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Gray skies, a heavy blanket and the soporific drone of a classic drama on the television all argued against wakefulness. Tovah, who’d been rubbing her stump with oil and doing all the adjustments to her pr