Running Blind Read online

  He thought about escorting her into this kitchen for the first time, watching the horror on her face as she’d surveyed the damage he’d left behind, telling himself the whole time that she was a temporary solution and nothing more. Boy, how things had changed in the past two months!

  Watching her bustle around the house, as excited as a kid, made his heart squeeze. Of course, she still insisted that there was nothing he could do to help her, and was adamant that he not interfere.

  Normally he’d just plow ahead and do what he knew was right; he’d make her business his business and end this nightmare once and for all. But if he did, she’d leave. He saw that truth in her eyes every time he broached the subject. She was still clinging to the idea of leaving in the spring, because there was nothing he could do to help and anything he did would just worsen her situation.

  Zeke so-the-hell didn’t agree. Brad Whatever-his-last-name-was was just a man. He could be stopped; he should be stopped. But it was something they’d have to do together, and Carlin wouldn’t even discuss the possibilities with him.

  If he went behind her back, she’d never forgive him. He shouldn’t care about that, given that she kept insisting that she was temporary, that what they had was a nice fling while it lasted. But, damn it, this didn’t feel temporary. It felt as if Carlin was his.

  “You look like you’ve done this before.” He stood in the doorway between the dining room and the kitchen, watching Carlin flit back and forth between a counter covered with bowls and dishes and food, to an oven that had been in use for hours—make that days—to the sink overflowing with dirty dishes. She settled in one spot with a deep bowl and a long-handled wooden spoon. “Does your family always do a big Thanksgiving?”

  She didn’t pause, but continued to stir the ingredients for something in that oversized bowl. “When I was little, and Mom and Dad were still alive, we did the usual thing. Robin and Kin and I made turkey decorations and put them all over the house, Mom cooked for three days, and the food was pretty much gone in twenty minutes.” She glanced over her shoulder and smiled. “My dad always took care of the cleanup. I think that’s an excellent idea, by the way. The man of the house should chip in to do his share of the work.”

  “Don’t look at me like that. I don’t do dishes.”

  Carlin poured the gooey mixture she’d been working into a huge oblong pan. “Come to think of it, I do remember that.” She licked the spoon and smiled. “Oh, I hope this turns out okay! I’ve never made corn bread dressing before.” She opened the oven door and carefully slid the big pan inside.

  Carlin had never been one to share much about herself, as if being on the run meant she wasn’t entitled to a past, as if it meant she wasn’t just hiding from a stalker, she was hiding from everyone. He was intensely interested in this little slice of her life that she was revealing. “When did they die? Your parents. How long have they been gone?”

  She didn’t answer right away, and he began to wonder if she’d answer at all, though he didn’t see anything about the question that would alarm her. Finally she said, “It’s been eight years, almost nine. After that the family kind of drifted apart, as if our parents had been the glue that held us together and we didn’t know how to be a family without them. Robin had her husband and one baby, at that time, and Kin had a new career, and I … I wanted to start a new and exciting life. I wanted to be independent, I wanted to see different things, do different things.” She looked at him again. “Stuff happens for a reason. Always. Brad knew I wasn’t close to my brother and sister. When he asked about them, I should’ve realized something was off. But I didn’t. I thought he was just making conversation, trying to get to know me. If he thought he could get to me through them, he would. Even though I don’t see or talk to Robin or Kin much these days, we’re closer than we’ve been since Mom and Dad died.”

  Before he could ask another question, Carlin waved the wooden spoon at him as if she meant to smack him with it. “I do not want to talk about him today! I refuse to let him spoil this. What about your family? Why aren’t they all here for Thanksgiving?” She glanced at him. “Or why aren’t you there?”

  “My family visits in the summer, when travel isn’t so iffy and the kids are out of school. And I don’t leave the ranch for an extended time very often. There’s too much to do.”

  She made a scoffing sound in her throat. “You have a perfectly good foreman who can handle things while you’re away. You don’t have to do everything yourself, you know.”

  “I’ve heard that before.”

  “And yet you don’t quite believe that the ranch can survive without you.” There was a teasing note in her voice.

  “Fine.” He walked toward her slowly. “I’ll go visit my family for Christmas. I’ll fly down and stay with my oldest sister and her crazy-ass family for a full week.” It wasn’t like she hadn’t asked a hundred times. Carlin looked a little surprised, and then he threw in the kicker. “As long as you come with me.”

  Frowning, she looked down, then tossed the spoon into the sink. “You know very well the answer is no.”

  “Why? What could go wrong? Don’t you think I can protect you?” It was what he wanted to do more than anything: protect her. Fix all that had gone wrong in her life.

  “It’s not that.” She turned her back to him and started fiddling with bowls and spoons, needlessly straightening her mess.

  He wrapped his arms around her, pulled her back against his chest. “Okay, then. You’ll meet them in the summer, when they come for a visit.”

  “You know I won’t be here when summer rolls around.” She tried to sound cool and matter-of-fact, but didn’t quite pull it off.

  It was some comfort that she sounded sad about that fact. Instead of arguing with her—which was, he had discovered, a waste of breath—he kissed her on the neck and then let her go. “I’ll be back in less than two hours.”

  She watched him head for the mudroom. “Don’t you dare be late! And tell the others they’d better not be late, either. Kat will be here by one, she said. I told her I didn’t need any help, goodness knows she spends too much time cooking, but she said she’s bringing dessert and rolls anyway. We will all be at the table and eating no later than two. Got that?” She sighed. “It’s going to be perfect.”

  The meal, maybe. The day, sure. He’d had plenty of perfect days lately. But her life wouldn’t be perfect until her fear of Brad was gone, until Brad himself was gone, and he couldn’t figure out how to make that happen without breaking his word to her. He knew what he risked if he broke his promise. She might never forgive him, and everything they had would be gone.

  But as much as he didn’t want to let her go, he had to wonder if it wouldn’t be a worthwhile sacrifice if it meant she would finally be free.

  CARLIN WAS PLEASED with the meal, but damn, it had been a lot of work! Exactly as she remembered from her home life when she was younger, the food had disappeared quickly. They didn’t have a huge bunch of people to celebrate with, but Walt and Spencer were there. Kat, too, and she kept the conversation going. Spencer’s family had a big to-do planned for the weekend, and by then Kenneth and Micah would be back at work. Life on a ranch didn’t stop for any holiday. The animals had to be taken care of, if nothing else. And as Walt had pointed out, anything that didn’t get done today would just have to be done tomorrow.

  She tried not to let her lingering horror show, as she accepted compliments on the meal, but when Zeke had mentioned taking her to meet his family, her heart had jumped into her throat and had stayed there for a while.

  Maybe she was crazy about him, maybe the sex was stellar, maybe she even sometimes thought she loved him. None of that changed anything. She had to deal with reality, and while her current reality was pretty damn perfect, the bigger reality of Brad loomed out there like a huge storm.

  This would be her only Thanksgiving with Zeke. Christmas was coming and it would be her only Christmas with him. She wanted to savor every moment, to make