Sarah's Child Read online

  She was in her fourth month when Rome came home unexpectedly early one Wednesday, the day when the store was closed after lunch. She was putting new shelf paper in the cabinets, and she was working on the bottom shelves, down on her hands and knees, with her entire torso inside the cabinet. Rome looked at her, bent down to grasp her hips, and firmly drew her out. “I’m hiring someone to do the housework,” he said calmly. “Tomorrow.”

  The idea amused her. “Millions of women all over the world do housework while they’re pregnant until the very day they give birth.”

  “You aren’t millions of women,” he said. “If I didn’t travel so much, it would be different. I can help you while I’m here, but when I’m gone, I want to know that you aren’t climbing around on cabinets, or in them.”

  She’d done it before, when she wasn’t pregnant, but she didn’t point that out to him. Having his concern based on her pregnancy was a very good sign. It wasn’t because she was awkward or clumsy, because even though she was four months pregnant, she had gained only one pound and was still wearing her normal clothes. The only visible sign of her pregnancy was the increased plumpness of her breasts, and their added sensitivity, both of which seemed to fascinate Rome.

  He leaned down and kissed her. “Promise me,” he said, and she did.

  He was quieter than he had been before, at the same time both closer and more remote. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but whenever he went on a trip, he called more often to check on her. When he was home and had a business dinner, he more often than not arranged for wives to attend, so she wouldn’t be spending the evening alone. His hand was always on the small of her back when they walked, and he always held her hand while she was getting into or out of his car. But he never asked about the baby, how her latest checkup had gone, or even when it was due, though if he could count, he should have been able to figure that out.

  She knew she wouldn’t have the joy of picking out baby names with him, or speculating on the fascinating subject of whether it was a boy or a girl. On the other hand, a lot of fathers exhibited little or no interest in their offspring, then went to pieces when labor began. She still hoped. She had to hope, though she knew she had to face a lot of heartbreak in the future, not the least of which would be trying to explain to a small child that Daddy wasn’t to be bothered—ever.

  But she had a baby to prepare for, with or without Rome, so she quietly began preparing the third bedroom as a nursery. To make room for baby furniture she had Derek help her move several items of furniture she’d brought from her old apartment, and those she took down to the store and sold them. Marcie took her shopping, calling on her half-forgotten experiences as a new mother in helping Sarah select what she’d need. A baby bed was bought and installed, with a merry crib-mobile attached to it, ready to be wound up to fascinate the infant who would occupy the bed. A cradle and a rocking chair took up residence. A teddy bear appeared one afternoon, sitting smugly in the passenger seat of her car, but when Sarah looked around for Derek he’d already disappeared from sight. The teddy bear was placed in the rocking chair and promptly named Boo-Boo.

  One night, searching for some papers he’d misplaced, Rome opened the door of the third bedroom and turned on the light. He froze momentarily, then quickly turned out the light and backed out of the room, closing the door behind him. His face was white. He didn’t open the door again.

  Sarah asked Marcie to attend natural childbirth classes with her, to be her coach and partner. Marcie drew a quick breath. “Are you certain?” she asked, pleased but uneasy at the same time. “I really don’t know anything about having babies. I mean, I had Derek, but he had it all organized.” She blushed like a young girl. “That sounds stupid, but I swear, that’s the way it seemed. I went into labor at eight o’clock in the morning, just as the doctor was making his rounds at the hospital. Derek has always been considerate. He was born at nine thirty, with no trouble and very little effort on my part, just a few pushes. He cried by himself, before the doctor could make him, then began sucking on his fist and went to sleep. That was it.”

  They looked at each other; then Marcie rolled her eyes and they began laughing.

  Sarah did all the exercises Dr. Easterwood recommended to strengthen her back and abdominal muscles, and took her vitamins faithfully. When she was five months pregnant, Dr. Easterwood performed a relatively simple test, drawing a small amount of amniotic fluid from Sarah’s womb. The baby was pronounced perfectly normal, and the doctor then confessed that that had been her foremost concern, but everything was going along great guns.

  Soon after that, Rome settled her into place one night to sleep, with her head on his shoulder and her body curved against him. He’d just made love to her, and Sarah was sleepy, her body replete. At that moment, the baby kicked, hard, the first time it had moved so vigorously. Sarah had felt small, discrete flutters for several weeks but never before an honest kick. The tiny foot thudded against her abdomen where she was pressed into Rome’s side. He went rigid, then shot out of bed, stifling a curse.

  He turned on the light, and Sarah stared at him, uncontrollable tears stinging her eyes. He was sweating. “I’m sorry,” he said hoarsely. He leaned down and kissed her, stroking her hair. “I love you, but I can’t take it. I’ll sleep in my bedroom until after it’s born.”

  She tried to smile, despite the tears in her eyes. “I understand. I’m sorry too.”

  Two days later he left on an extended trip. Sarah suspected that he’d volunteered for it, but if that were so, she supposed she couldn’t blame him. Things were out of his control, and despite his efforts to ignore it, her pregnancy kept making itself obvious to him. Her figure was rounding out now, and she had to wear maternity clothes. The baby had changed his sleeping habits and his love life; no wonder he felt the need to get away.

  While Rome was gone Max called her every day. She’d never been so cosseted in her life, all because of a perfectly normal pregnancy. Derek ruled her like a gentle despot at the store, and since school was out for the summer, there was no break from him. He was there when she arrived and left only when she did. The only privacy she had was when she went home at night to the perfectly clean apartment. Rome had indeed hired a housekeeper, a nice comfortable middle-aged woman who didn’t at all mind receiving a nice salary for cleaning an apartment that was never really mussed anyway. Mrs. Melton knew a good deal when she saw it, and the apartment was always spotless, the laundry always done. If it hadn’t been for the interest and distraction of the store, Sarah would have gone crazy.

  Rome was gone for three weeks, three of the longest weeks of her life, but everyone made a herculean effort to keep her cheered up. Not everyone knew all of the circumstances—only Marcie, Derek, and Max—but all her customers fussed over her as well. If only Rome had looked forward to his child’s birth with even a fraction of the eagerness that relative strangers revealed, she’d have been delirious with joy.

  He called her at work one day to tell her briefly that he was in a meeting but would be home the next day. Sarah hung up the phone and began crying.

  Derek took her in his arms and led her to the office, closing the door behind them. She cried on his strong young shoulder, while he rocked her soothingly back and forth. Then he dried her eyes and seated her in her chair, pulling up the other chair to sit before her.

  “Was that Rome?”

  “Yes. He’ll be home tomorrow.” She gave a watery sniffle. “I was just so glad to hear his voice and know he’ll be home soon that I couldn’t handle it.”

  He smiled and patted her knee. “I received the final confirmation on my scholarship yesterday,” he said, taking her mind away from Rome. “Rome and Mr. Conroy really went to bat for me, didn’t they? And all because of you.”

  “I’m glad for you. You deserve the best.”

  He was watching her steadily. “I’ve been reading about pregnancy and childbirth, just in case something happens and you need me, before you can get to a hospital.