Sarah's Child Read online

  Rome lay awake too, his gut twisting with anger and frustration. It made him see red when she froze up on him like that! He’d wanted to apologize for the night before, when he’d hurt her by rejecting her offer of sympathy, but she’d put up that damned blank wall and refused to respond or let him make it up to her. She’d been humming, as if it didn’t matter to her what he did. It probably didn’t matter, he thought savagely. But when he’d gone to her room and made love to her, she’d taken down the barrier and turned as hot and sweet in his arms as she always did. He’d wanted to grind his flesh into hers, to make her forget about keeping him at a distance, and he’d thought he’d succeeded; then that morning, she’d been as cool and remote as ever, as if she hadn’t gone wild beneath him.

  That damned store was more important to her than anything else, including him. He’d asked her to go with him, but the store came first. He’d known how devoted she was to working, and he’d proposed to her, knowing that she’d expect the same priority for her work as he expected for his. He’d agreed to give her the room she needed, and now he found it was driving him insane. Whenever she put up those frosty barriers of hers, he wanted to smash them down and take her in the most primitive way, until she couldn’t build them again. She didn’t even care enough to argue; she simply stated her position, then turned away. The disdainful lift of that little chin had almost broken his control, but she’d made it plain that if he’d taken her to bed, it would have been rape, and he’d forced himself to leave before he sank to that. He didn’t want to hurt her—he wanted to possess her, totally and irrevocably. He wanted never to see that reserved, distant expression on her face again. And he wanted that shining eagerness that she reserved for that damned store to be for him. The challenge she represented was becoming an obsession for him, until even at work he found himself thinking of ways to break through her defenses. So far, the only way he’d found had been through sex, but that was only temporary.

  He wanted her now. He was burning with need, and he moved restlessly on the bed. He waited, knowing that if he went in to her now, she’d fight, and he didn’t want to put her through that sort of experience; he wasn’t certain of his ability to control himself. He didn’t want her unwilling body; he wanted her all soft and melted beneath him, clinging to him with all the silky strength of her arms and legs, her cool image shattered by the earthiness of the act. For that, he’d wait.

  When Sarah got up at her usual time the next morning, she was surprised to find Rome already up, with the preparations for breakfast almost finished. She looked at him warily, but the hard-edged anger had left him, though she still sensed an indefinable tension in him that made her keep her greeting merely polite.

  “Sit down,” he said, and the words were a command, not an invitation.

  Sarah sat down at the small table, and he served the meal, then took his place across from her.

  They were almost finished eating when he spoke. “Are you going to keep the store open all day today?”

  Cautiously, Sarah placed her coffee cup on the table. “Yes. Mr. Marsh, the previous owner, said that Saturday was always his biggest day. He closed for half a day on Wednesdays, and I think I’ll keep doing that too. People like a familiar schedule.”

  She’d expected him to object, but instead he gave a curt nod. “I’ll go with you today. I’d like to look things over more carefully than I did before. Have you got your bookkeeping system set up yet?”

  “Not completely.” Grateful that he wasn’t going to pick another argument, Sarah relaxed her guard and unconsciously leaned toward him a little, the unusual deep green of her eyes beginning to warm. “I’ve kept a record of everything I’ve spent, and of what I’ve sold, but I haven’t had time to begin organizing it yet.”

  “If you don’t have any objections, I’ll set the books up for you,” he offered. “Have you thought about buying a personal computer and putting your inventory on it? For that matter, you need your bookkeeping system on computer too. It would be a lot easier to work with.”

  “I’d thought about it, but a computer will have to wait. The store needs a new roof, and I’ve got several ideas for expanding the merchandise selection. Then there’s a burglar alarm system that I want installed too. I’ve just about used up all my savings, and I need to build a little working capital.”

  “You used your savings?” he snapped, his heavy dark brows drawing down, and Sarah automatically withdrew from him again, the barrier springing into place to protect her. His jaw set as he saw her change of expression, and grim determination rose in him. He wasn’t going to let her lock him out this time; he was going to go over that damned wall as if it weren’t even there, ignoring its existence.

  He reached out and snared her wrist, wrapping his hard fingers around the fragile bones. “That was the wrong way to do it,” he said, releasing all the irritation he felt. “You don’t spend your capital; you use it as collateral. Borrow the money, and let your own money collect interest while you use someone else’s. The interest you pay on the loan is tax-deductible, and believe me, babe, you’ll need every tax break you can get. Don’t wait for a profit to make those improvements; borrow the money and do it now. If I’d been here when you bought the store, I’d have marched you down to a bank to set up a business loan.”

  Sarah relaxed, her eyes widening. She could handle his criticism and advice on business matters; she even welcomed it. She’d have to be a fool not to trust his business sense.

  “You’ll also need a good accountant,” he continued. “I’d volunteer to do your taxes, but I have to spend too much time away from home. If you’re going to do this, do it right.”

  “All right,” she agreed mildly. “I didn’t know all that. My instinct is to pay for everything outright, so it’s legally mine and can’t be taken away from me. I’ve never been interested in the ins and outs of business finance, but if that’s the way you say it should be done, I’ll take your word for it.”

  His dark eyes sharpened, and like a hawk he swooped down on the most significant thing she’d said. The morning after their wedding, when she’d come unglued because the apartment was unfamiliar to her, he’d realized that she liked everything in its place. She was, in fact, almost fanatic about it. But now this second statement alerted him to a deep-seated insecurity in her that he hadn’t realized before. “Taken away from you?” he asked casually, though there was nothing casual in the way he watched her. He felt as if he were on the verge of finally getting around that barrier inside her, of knowing what went on in that reserved mind of hers. “Do you really think I’d let you go belly up if you enjoyed the store that much? You don’t have to worry about bankruptcy, ever.”

  Sarah shivered, a movement that he felt immediately, as he was still holding her wrist. She stared at him across the cold, empty wasteland of her childhood; then her lashes dropped as she tried to push the emptiness away. “It isn’t that,” she vaguely explained. “I just needed to feel that it was mine, that I belonged…I mean, that it belonged to me.”

  “Do you realize I don’t know anything about your family?” he asked conversationally, and she flinched, telling him without words that he was on the right track. “Where are your parents? Did you have a deprived childhood?”

  Abruptly Sarah looked at him, awareness dawning in her eyes. “Are you psychoanalyzing me?” she asked in an attempt at lightness. “Don’t bother. I can clear it up for you; it’s no big mystery, though I really don’t like to talk about it. No, I didn’t have a deprived childhood, not in material things anyway. My father is a successful lawyer, and we were definitely upper-middle-class. But my parents weren’t happy together, and they stayed married only because of me; when I started college and was officially launched, they promptly divorced. I’ve never been close to my parents. Everything was so…so cold at home, so polite. I guess I grew up knowing how shaky everything was and expecting it to fall apart without notice. I intended to make my own little nest, where I’d feel safe,” she confessed.