Smiley Read online

  He made really good points. “I would never think badly of you. You have to protect yourself and the people you love. I appreciate you trusting me enough to tell me the truth about what you’ve endured.”

  “Does it frighten you, knowing that I can be deadly to my enemies?”

  She shook her head.

  His hold on her hands eased and he let go of one to reach up and caress her cheek with his thumb. “You could enrage me and I’d walk away. Is that a fear? I can’t see me ever getting angry with you but I’d never turn it on you. We hear about domestic violence in your world.” His hand stilled, just lightly touching her. His voice harshened. “That would never happen. I’d never touch you in anger. Ever.”

  “I don’t think you would.”

  His expression relaxed. “Good. Do you know what would happen to a Species who abused his mate?”

  She shook her head.

  “He wouldn’t survive long. I’d take him out myself but I’d have tough competition to reach him first. Other males would hunt him down too, along with our females. We don’t abide that kind of thing.” He took a few deep breathes. “I’m enraged that Carl Woods put you in danger. I’ll make him bleed a lot if I ever get my hands on him. I know that isn’t something you’d like to hear but this is total honesty. I’m not hiding that from you.”

  Vanni smiled. “You’d totally kick his ass.”

  “I would.” He smiled. “I’d enjoy it. I hope that doesn’t disturb you.”

  “No. I wouldn’t mind taking a swing at him myself.”

  He chuckled. “You, violent? I can’t see it.”

  “Everyone has bad days. Bruce and Gregory are monsters. I hit Bruce with a bottle and hurt him but I’d planned to attack Gregory. He wasn’t in the limo.”

  All humor faded from Smiley’s features. “I was informed of what you did. I don’t want you to relive it, Vanni. You were smart and very brave. You did what you had to in order to survive. I’m very glad of that. I only wish you’d hit him harder or he’d have died from the bullet meant for you.”

  “They threatened to kill Beth.”

  “You never need to excuse or explain it.” He leaned in closer until their breaths mingled and he caressed her cheek again with his thumb. “Stay with me. We will be happy. We can commit to making it work. We’ll talk everything out. You only need to tell me if I do something that makes you unhappy and I’ll do everything in my power to change it.”

  “I want to say yes,” she admitted. “I’m just afraid of getting my heart broken.”

  “Never,” he rasped. “I’ll be a good mate to you. What are your fears? Tell me.”

  “I’ve been cheated on.”

  “It won’t happen. You’re the only female for me. Did you know mates get addicted to their females?”

  Her eyes widened, surprised. “How?”

  “Other females will scent bad to me. I’ll only get hard smelling and seeing you.”

  “Seriously?”

  He nodded. “Our bond will grow every day and I’ll only want you. I already do.” He paused. “Another female offered to share sex with me since we met. I turned her down. The thought horrified me. I only want you, Vanni.”

  Smiley regretted admitting that immediately when he saw Vanni’s expression. He’d gone too far with the honesty. He felt her tense under his touch. He stopped stroking her cheek and took her hands again, refusing to let her go.

  “It was after I returned to Homeland with the drug still in my system. A female thought I was suffering. I was but I didn’t want her. Even in pain, I only want you. Please don’t get upset.”

  “Was it Cindy?”

  He frowned. “No. Why do you think that?”

  “You two seemed friendly. She’s cute.”

  Was she jealous? It made him happy. It meant she felt possessive of him. That was good. “I’ve never touched Cindy in that way. She works for the NSO and has showed no interest in me. She is attracted to a male who lives at Reservation. She watches him when he isn’t looking. Some of us have noticed. It was a Species female who is a friend of mine.”

  “You’ve had sex with her?”

  He flinched. “It isn’t anything serious. We’re not involved in a relationship. Species females hardly ever share sex with the same male within a short time span. It’s complicated but there isn’t a romantic element involved.”

  “But you’ve slept with her?”

  Vanni appeared confused and he understood. She was unfamiliar with his kind and very naïve. He needed to explain. “Sex can just be for pleasure and to feel linked to another person for a short time. In your world I believe the term is booty calls. Species females hook up with males when they wish to share sex but they aren’t dating or involved the way humans have romantic relationships. We have friendships and also share sex sometimes. You and I have more than that. I’ve never shared sex with a female and wanted to mate her. Only you, Vanni. You’re special to me. Please believe that. I won’t ever share sex with anyone else but you.”

  She looked uncertain. “So you won’t sleep with her again?”

  “No. Never.”

  She stared into his eyes, seeming to search for the truth. He kept eye contact. “Okay.”

  Relief spread through him. He needed to think before he spoke. “What are your other fears?”

  “I don’t want to have a long-distance relationship.”

  “Nor do I.”

  “What about when you are working? Are you ever gone for weeks?”

  “You go where I go. Mates stay together. I’m sent to Reservation from time to time but I could refuse if you wish to stay here. It’s not mandatory for me to travel between both locations. We have the option to say no. It’s respected. Species want other Species to be happy. They will work around our needs. We just have to live at the NSO. It’s too dangerous in your world. We had a male who lived in the out world and he was kidnapped with his female. Your family and friends can visit.” He glanced around at the living room. “They’d be comfortable here, wouldn’t they?” He held her gaze.

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  “Being with me doesn’t mean you have to give up the other people you love. It just would be safer for them to spend time with you here, behind our walls.” He hesitated. “It could be an issue with them though.”

  “They aren’t prejudiced.”

  “Our enemies are. You’ve already been linked to me though. The damage has been done. We’ll do everything we can to protect them.”

  He hated the way worry crinkled the corners of her eyes. “I will say that the few mates who have family and friends in the out world didn’t have too much difficulty after the first few weeks. The media coverage died down and they have been left alone.”

  “That’s good. Especially since everyone I’m close to is already in hiding from the Woods Church and the media.”

  “Very true.” He waited for her to express other objections. She was thinking. He could almost see the wheels of her mind spinning. It was cute how easy she was to read. She locked on to something because she gripped his hands a little tighter, staring intently at him but said nothing.

  “What is it?”

  “I wanted to have kids one day. Would you consider allowing me to carry a baby? We could go to a doctor and set it up. They’d use donated sperm from someone to impregnate me in a surgical setting. I know it wouldn’t be biologically your child since you can’t have them but would you think about it? Is it possible that you could love a baby that is created that way? I would adopt a baby if I wasn’t able to carry one of my own. I’d love it anyway. Could you?”

  Her rushed words poured out, stunning Smiley. She gasped a breath before he could respond.

  “I know it’s asking a lot but I really want to be a mother one day. It’s part of the reason I agreed to marry Carl. I’m not saying we need to do it right away but I want that option. I love my niece and nephews. I didn’t give birth to them but I want that. Children. A family. With you.”