The Jodi Picoult Collection Read online

  “I’d still have a conviction on my record.”

  “A misdemeanor,” Melton pointed out. “You can get it annulled after ten years, like it never existed. A felony sexual assault charge—well, that’s with you for life.”

  To his horror, Jack felt tears climbing the ladder of his throat. “Eight months. That’s a hell of a long time.”

  “It’s a lot less than seven years.” When Jack looked away, the lawyer sighed. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry you were the one who got his hand slapped.”

  Jack turned to him. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “Eight months,” Melton said in response. “You’d be out before you know it.”

  The courtroom was claustrophobic. The walls were swaying in on Jack, and the air he drew in through his teeth sat like a block at the base of his stomach. He stood beside Melton Sprigg, his gaze square on Judge Ralph Greenlaw, a man whose daughter had been a goalie for Jack three years earlier. A nonpartisan trial? Not a chance. Every time the man met his eye, he could see him thinking of what might have happened if his own child instead of Catherine Marsh were sitting behind the prosecutor.

  The judge scanned the plea bargain, that wisp of paper that had Jack’s signature on it, just as sure as if he’d scrawled away his soul in blood. “Did you read this form before you signed it?”

  “Yes, Your Honor.”

  “Has any pressure, force, or promise been made to you in an effort to get you to plead guilty to this offense?”

  Jack thought of the cocktail napkin, the pro and con list, that Melton had drawn up. He had saved it after their meeting. The next day, he’d flushed it down the toilet. “No.”

  “Do you understand the rights that you are giving up by pleading guilty and not going to trial?”

  Yes, Jack thought. The right to live my life the way I always imagined it would be. “I do,” he said.

  “Do you understand that you’re entitled to a lawyer?”

  “Do you understand that you’re entitled to a jury trial?”

  “Do you understand that the jurors’ vote would have to be unanimous in order to find you guilty?”

  “Has any evidence obtained illegally against you been used to secure this conviction?”

  He felt Melton hold his breath as the judge asked the next question. “Are you pleading guilty because you are guilty?”

  Jack could not force a syllable from his throat.

  Catherine couldn’t stand any of it—the weight of her father’s solid body pressed against hers, the stoic resignation of Jack sitting beside his attorney, the truth that she was the one who had set this cart in motion. And even after she’d tried to fix it, it had been too late. No matter how many times she insisted she’d made this all up, they didn’t want to hear. The prosecutor and her father and the psychiatrist he’d dragged her to for counseling all told her that it was perfectly normal for her to want to keep Jack out of jail but that he deserved to be punished for what he had done.

  Me, Catherine thought. I deserve to be punished.

  She wished with all her heart that this had happened differently, but she had learned that words were like eggs dropped from great heights: You could no more call them back than ignore the mess they left when they fell.

  She felt herself coming out of her seat, as if she’d swallowed helium. “Don’t do this to him!” she cried.

  “Sit down, Catherine.” Her father clamped an arm around her. The prosecutor and the judge didn’t stop the proceedings. It was like they’d expected her to say this.

  The judge nodded at the bailiff. “Please remove Ms. Marsh from the courtroom,” he said, and suddenly a burly man was gently leading her outside, where she wouldn’t have to bear witness to her own folly.

  It was as if Catherine had never spoken. “Mr. St. Bride,” the judge repeated, “do you admit that you knowingly had sexual contact with Catherine Marsh for the purpose of sexual arousal or gratification?”

  Jack could feel the Reverend Marsh’s eyes on the back of his neck. He opened his mouth in denial, only to choke on words that had been lodged in the pit of his belly, fed to him by his own attorney: You finish your sentence, and then you go on with your life.

  Jack gagged until his eyes teared, until Melton pounded him on the back and asked for a moment so that his client could compose himself. He coughed and hemmed and hawed, but something still seemed to be caught, irritating as a bone. “Try this,” Melton whispered, passing Jack a glass of water, but he only shook his head. He could drink an ocean and never dissolve the pride that was stuck in his throat.

  “Mr. St. Bride,” the judge said, “do you admit to committing this offense?”

  “Yes, Your Honor,” Jack answered, in a voice that was still not his own. “I do.”

  Late April 2000

  Salem Falls,

  New Hampshire

  Selena Damascus kicked the tire of her Jaguar so hard that pain shot up her leg. “Goddamn,” she yelled, so loudly that both Jordan and the mechanic jumped.

  “Feel better?” Jordan asked, leaning against a tool chest.

  “Shut up. Just shut up. Do you know how much money I put into that car?” Selena thundered. “Do you?”

  “Every lousy red cent I ever paid you.”

  She turned on the mechanic. “I could buy a Geo for the price you just quoted.”

  The man looked distinctly uncomfortable, but Jordan understood. Selena was formidable when she was in a good mood. In a temper, she was downright terrifying. “Um, there’s something else,” the mechanic muttered.

  “Let me guess,” Selena said. “You don’t have someone qualified to service Jags.”

  “No, I can do that. But it’s gonna take a week or so to get the part.” A telephone rang in the service station, and the mechanic excused himself. “You make up your mind. This car ain’t going nowhere anyhow.”

  Selena turned to Jordan. “This isn’t happening to me. I’m just going to turn my life back twenty-four hours and when your son calls, I’m gonna let the phone keep on ringing.” She shook her head. “You know this guy has a monopoly going on in this town.”

  “Yes. The antitrust commission swung by last September to investigate.”

  “Zip it, will you, Jordan?”

  “You could get it towed,” he suggested. “You could rent a car.”

  Selena shrugged, considering this.

  “Or you could just stay with us for a while,” Jordan said, and the moment the words were out of his mouth, he wondered where they had come from. The last thing he wanted was Selena Damascus around, reminding him of what might have worked out in a different time and place.

  “You can barely stand to look at me. God, Jordan, you took your cereal bowl into your bedroom this morning to keep us from having to eat breakfast together.”

  He looked away.

  “Not to mention all that . . . history . . . between us.”

  She was asking him, Jordan realized, not telling him. He was very quiet for a moment, remembering how he had stayed up all night waiting to hear the tumblers in the lock announcing her return with Thomas, how he’d sat on the couch after putting away her blankets this morning and realized the scent of her was now a part of it, as much as its color and weave.

  “If I stayed, we’d just be asking for trouble,” Selena said.

  “It would be a stupid move,” Jordan agreed.

  “Stupid?” she snorted. “It would be one of the ten biggest mistakes in the history of the world.”

  He laughed along with her, both of them completely aware that they were already moving toward his car, inching in the direction of home.

  If Addie was surprised to discover that she liked sex, she was absolutely stunned to realize that she was addicted to the moments afterward.

  She would lie on her side, drawn into the shell of Jack’s body like a precious pearl. She could feel him the whole length of her, could taste herself on his fingers, could sense the moment his breathing evened into sleep. But m