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  Feeling useless and in the way with his bum arm, Cade called the dog and moved outside to the ramp. He strolled past the shelves stocked with para cargo-climbing spurs and trauma kits, freeze-dried food and cubes of water-then leaned against a crate in the shade to watch the action. One by one, the jumpers staggered out of the ready room to the waiting Twin Otter, barely staying upright under the weight of their equipment.

  A minute later, Trey wandered out and joined him in the shade. The Otter’s engine whined as the pilot prepared for takeoff. The spotter stood outside the door performing last-minute safety checks before the jumpers climbed on board. Cade felt the excitement in the air, the anticipation, and wished to hell he could get on that plane.

  “Where are you on the list?” he asked Trey.

  “About ten down now. I should make the next load.”

  “Lucky man.” Cade sucked in a breath of jet fumes and blew it out.

  “Yeah. This is turning into a great season for overtime pay.” He shot Cade an apologetic smile. “Hell of a time to get injured.”

  “Yeah.” It was, but the risks were part of the job.

  Trey tilted his head. “You planning on keeping the dog?”

  Cade turned slightly to glance at the mutt, who was nosing around the trash can in the corner. And he remembered how Jordan had protected that dog, carrying him through the river and across the fire, even defying a mountain lion to save him.

  A weight pressed down on his heart. “I don’t have much choice. He saved my life. The least I can do is feed him.”

  “Have fun. That mutt ate three burgers and a large order of fries last night.”

  Cade blinked. “You took him out for hamburgers?”

  “Hey, it was a special occasion.”

  Cade raised his brows.

  “His first bath?”

  “Right.” Cade shook his head and grinned, doubting Jordan would approve of that diet. But Jordan would never know what the dog ate. A swift cramp rent his heart, blocking his breath. Damn, he needed to get her out of his head.

  Just then the rookie swaggered by on his way to the plane. “Thanks again, McKenzie,” he called. Then he laughed and said something to a female bro, his face beaming with excitement.

  Cade shook his head again. “Man, those rookies look young.”

  “We were the same age when we started.”

  “Twenty-three.” And he could still remember how desperately he’d wanted to become a smokejumper, to belong to the firefighting elite. He’d worked like hell to get through rookie training, and he’d been so damned proud when he’d made it.

  “You remember that trip to Cancún?” Trey asked.

  “How could I forget it?” They’d headed down to Mexico right after that first season had ended, intending to have some fun. Two kick-ass smokejumpers out to raise hell on the beach.

  And then he’d met Jordan.

  She’d been even younger than he was, just out of high school. And his heart had fallen fast.

  The last jumper climbed into the Otter, and the spotter leaped aboard. Seconds later, the plane turned and rolled down the runway. The engines screamed as it picked up speed and lifted off.

  Cade watched it head toward the distant mountains and disappear into the hot blue haze. He loved that moment when the plane took off, when he was soaring into the sky toward adventure, never knowing what would await him or what incredible sights he might see.

  Living the smokejumper dream.

  “Easy to make mistakes at that age,” Trey said.

  “I guess.” Cade tugged his attention back to earth and touched his sling. The rookie had made a mistake, all right, taking him out for the season. But everyone screwed up sometimes.

  Even him. And he’d screwed up big-time with Jordan.

  “I always liked her, you know,” Trey added. “I figured she must have had a reason to leave.”

  Cade didn’t pretend not to understand. It was obvious he was talking about Jordan. He squinted out at the hazy sky. “She had a miscarriage.”

  “Yeah? You never told me she was pregnant.”

  “I didn’t know.”

  Neither spoke for several moments. A bro laughed from inside the building. In the distance, a car door slammed. The dog wandered over and sniffed the bicycle parked near the crates.

  “That must have been rough on her,” Trey finally said.

  “Yeah.” Cade’s chest squeezed as he pictured the scene. Jordan lying in the hospital, scared and alone, her beautiful eyes black with terror, her face as pale as the sheets.

  He fisted his hand, knowing how much she had suffered, imagining her fierce pain and grief.

  And she’d been so damn young. Hell. Could he really blame her for bolting?

  Guilt slid through his gut. He’d hardly been perfect. He’d been full of himself back then, cocky, just like the rookie he’d saved. Too caught up in the thrill of smokejumping to notice her needs.

  He should have paid more attention. He never should have brushed her complaints or fears aside.

  And he should have discussed his decision to join that booster crew with her. They’d been married, for God’s sake, but he’d still acted as if he were single.

  Remorse soured his gut. So he wasn’t blameless. She’d been right about that.

  And she’d been right about something else. They hadn’t talked enough. They’d both made assumptions that had ruined their marriage. He’d figured she could cope on her own. She’d thought he only cared about his job.

  “I was in Alaska when it happened,” he said.

  “Living the dream.”

  “Right.” The twist of his lips was sardonic. But was it really a dream if it had cost him Jordan? Was any job, even this one, worth losing the woman he loved?

  He squinted into the sunny haze. Back when he’d first started, he’d thought so. Smokejumping was everything to him. It was what he was born to do and the first place he’d ever belonged. And nothing could have stopped him from jumping.

  But in the end, was it worth the price? Did fighting fire matter more to him than Jordan?

  The truth slammed into him then, knocking the air from his lungs. He’d been wrong. God, he’d been wrong. He needed Jordan far more than any job. He always had.

  Sure he liked smokejumping, and it would pain him to give it up, but he could do something else. He could become a dispatcher or base foreman, train rookies or rig parachutes. This wasn’t the only job where he could excel.

  But he couldn’t survive without Jordan. She completed him and made him whole. She loved him, cared for him in a way no one else ever could.

  And she mattered far more to him than smokejumping ever had.

  His gut cramped, and a fierce desperation seized him. He had to find her and stop her from leaving. He had to apologize and plead for another chance.

  But where could he find her? He didn’t know which motel she’d stayed in, or even if she’d stayed in town overnight. For all he knew, she could have taken a red-eye flight from Missoula and be back in Virginia by now.

  Panicked, he turned around.

  “You need a ride somewhere, McKenzie?” Trey rubbed his jaw, not quite hiding his smirk.

  “Yeah.” Cade blew out his breath. No one hid anything from the bros. “But you’re too high on the jump list. I’ll bum a ride from someone else.” Although where he’d look for Jordan, he didn’t know.

  He whistled, and the dog trotted over. “Did you happen to buy a leash?”

  “Right here.” Trey pulled a coiled leash from his pocket, snapped it onto the collar beneath the dog’s bandanna and handed the end to Cade. “You’re sure you want to take the dog with you?”

  “Oh, yeah.” This mutt had saved his life up on that mountain. Maybe now he could help rescue his heart.

  Chapter 18

  The taxi pulled to the curb in front of the smokejumper base and stopped. Her heart flipping erratically, Jordan scanned the familiar one-story complex fronting the shimmering tarmac.