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‘And Megan?’
‘She’s your daughter.’ Sharon turned her face away. ‘That’s up to you.’
‘We’ll do what we can to help you get back to England quickly,’ Jason promised her. ‘Will you help us sort all the official stuff that will be needed to make sure Megan’s allowed to stay with me?’
‘Sure.’ Sharon’s eyes closed again. ‘I need to sleep now. Come back tomorrow.’
Hand in hand, Jason and Laura walked through the quiet hospital corridors on their way back to the paediatric ward to see Megan again.
‘She’s going to be mine,’ Jason said in wonder. ‘Really mine.’
‘I’m so happy for you, Jase.’ It was hard to sound really happy, though, when part of her heart was breaking.
Jason must have caught something in her tone. ‘But it means that everything is going to be OK.’ Jason pulled Laura to a halt and turned her to face him. ‘For all of us.’ His face lit up as he caught hold of her other hand in his. ‘Will you marry me, Laura?’ His smile widened. ‘And be Megan’s real mother?’
For a long moment, Laura looked up at Jason, taking in every beloved feature. Then she let her breath out in a soft sigh.
‘No,’ she said softly. ‘I’m not going to marry you, Jason.’ Another piece of her heart cracked and she tried to pull her hands free, but Jason’s grip was far too strong.
The joy, along with some of the colour, faded from Jason’s face. ‘But…but why not? I love you, Laura. Megan loves you. I…I thought you loved us.’
‘I do. And what we have together is wonderful. It’s just not enough to base marriage on.’
‘But why not?’ Jason looked genuinely and totally bewildered. He was still holding Laura’s hands as he pulled her gently out of the way of a patient’s bed being wheeled along the corridor with attending medical staff. He leaned back against the wall and finally let go of Laura’s hands when the procession had passed. ‘I don’t understand,’ he said.
‘I’m not going to spend the rest of my life trying to earn your love,’ Laura told him gently. ‘I’ve been there and done that and I’m never going to do it again.’
‘But I do love you.’ Jason’s voice was loud enough to make one of the nurses following the bed down the corridor to turn and stare. Then she grinned and gave him a thumbs-up signal.
‘Not the same way I love you,’ Laura tried to explain. ‘And that’s what I need if I’m ever going to marry someone and spend the rest of my life with them.’
‘But…but I couldn’t love you any more than I do.’ Jason was trying to keep his voice down but the intensity of his words made it difficult. ‘I’ve finally found out what love really is,’ he said. ‘I’m in love with you, Laura. But I love you as well.’ He shook his head, frustrated that he couldn’t express himself clearly enough. ‘I can’t lose you,’ he added desperately. ‘I’ll never love anybody the way I love you. You’re…you’re my life now.’
‘Not really.’ Laura could feel tears gathering as she let Jason’s intensity and sincerity wash over her. It was so obviously real. She had known how genuine it was when she’d seen his face in the ambulance that morning. But was that love really for her? The way hers was for him? ‘I know you love me, Jase, but how much of how you feel is because I’m part of a package for you?’
‘What the hell is that supposed to mean?’
‘Megan,’ Laura responded simply. ‘You want a mother for Megan.’
‘No!’ Jason shook his head sharply. ‘Well…yes, but I would want to marry you anyway.’
‘Would you?’ Laura queried softly. ‘Are you sure about that, Jason?’
‘Of course I am.’
‘When you thought that Shelley-I mean Sharon-was going to take her away, you said yourself that Megan was the most important thing in your life. That she was what really mattered.’
‘But…’ Jason frowned ferociously as he tried to recall the conversation. Then his face cleared. ‘Of course I had to do what’s best for Megan, but part of why it was so important was to do with you. I knew if I lost her I might lose you, and that was a risk I didn’t want to take.’
A group of staff heading for supper in the canteen stopped the very private conversation, which was happening in rather a public place, long enough for Jason’s words to sink in. Long enough for a bubble of joy to form deep within Laura.
‘Why on earth did you think that, Jase?’
‘Because she was what brought you into my life. You loved her.’
‘But I loved you first.’
‘Really?’ Jason’s smile finally appeared again, just on one side. ‘You mean the guys were right? You offered to help me look after Peanut because you fancied me?’
Laura let the embarrassment of having been discussed in such a fashion pass. This was no moment for pride. ‘I fancied you the first moment I saw you,’ she admitted. ‘The first day I started at Inglewood station on Green Watch.’ She dipped her head shyly. ‘It did take a few weeks to fall in love with you, though.’
‘You were in love with me? And I didn’t know anything about it?’
‘Why would you? I didn’t really exist as far as you were concerned. Not enough to notice, anyway.’
‘I just didn’t know you.’ Jason looked embarrassed at the truth of Laura’s words. ‘I was blind, Laura. Immature. Is that why you won’t marry me?’
‘No.’
‘Why not, then?’
‘Because I can’t know whether you love me as much as I love you.’
‘I love you more,’ Jason declared.
Laura grinned at the confident tone. ‘How could you know that?’
‘There’s more to love. All I have going for me that isn’t totally shallow is that I’m Megan’s dad.’
‘And you thought that would be the reason I’d want to marry you?’
‘Why else?’
‘Because I love you, you bloody idiot,’ Laura said through her laughter. ‘The way I feel about you has nothing to do with Megan. I’d feel exactly the same if Megan didn’t exist.’
‘And that’s the way I feel about you.’
‘Prove it,’ Laura challenged.
‘OK.’ Jason took hold of Laura’s shoulders and lowered his head. He kissed her more thoroughly and more tenderly than she’d ever been kissed in her life. A wolf-whistle came from somewhere down the corridor and Jason finally let her go, his expression triumphant. ‘How was that?’
‘Fabulous.’ Laura felt the bubble of joy inside her explode into a tingling excitement that filled every cell in her body.
‘So will you believe that I love you…for just you? Will you marry me now?’
‘Yes.’ Laura laughed. ‘I’ll marry you, Jase. But I still need more proof.’
‘How long will that take?’
Laura’s laughter faded until she was simply smiling. ‘About a lifetime, I reckon.’
‘You’re on.’ Jason grinned. ‘I can manage that, no problem.’ He took a confident step forward, tugging on Laura’s hand. ‘Shall we go and see our baby now?’
‘In a minute.’ Laura tugged back on Jason’s hand and then stood on tiptoe. ‘I’d just like a bit more of that proof, first, if you don’t mind.’
‘Oh, I don’t mind a bit,’ Jason murmured. His next words were muffled as his lips touched hers. ‘We’ll take just as long as you need.’
Facing the Fire By Gail Barrett
Chapter 1
Jordan Wells lifted the old metal bucket out of the icy stream and set it beside her on the bank. Shivering, she rubbed her wet, chilled hands on her jeans to warm them. She’d forgotten how cold these Montana streams were. They were little more than glacial melt rushing down the mountains.
But the place was beautiful, she had to admit. Smiling, she glanced around the tiny clearing. Early-afternoon sunlight sifted through the Douglas fir trees, making the water sparkle. The clear stream raced over rocks and overturned pebbles while the pine boughs moaned above.
She inhaled the de