Her Sexiest Mistake Read online

  Hope looked up in surprise. Lifted a shoulder.

  Oh, boy. A fishing expedition in the expanse of a teenage mind. “So…Cole seems nice.”

  Bingo. Hope plopped into the chair across from Mia. “Yeah. But just a few days ago I was gaga over Adam. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to trust my feelings now. It seems so…comforting.” She looked at Mia. “Any maternal urges coming to you? Any advice at all?”

  “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not so good with feelings in general, so I’m probably not one to ask.”

  “You’re with Kevin. You have feelings for him.”

  “Well, no to the first, but yes on the second.”

  Hope’s mouth trembled open. “I thought he loved you.”

  “Maybe love isn’t always enough.”

  Hope looked vastly disappointed by that, but Mia told herself she was young, she’d learn.

  “I think what I feel for Cole is more…real than what I felt for Adam. Does that make sense?”

  Mia thought of Kevin and compared him to every guy she’d ever been with. There was no comparison. “Perfect sense.”

  “He kissed me.”

  Mia cut her eyes to Hope.

  “Don’t worry. No sex.”

  Mia nodded and ate another donut.

  “You know, my mom would be spouting stuff like, ‘Marry a trucker, they have good insurance.’ Nothing I’d want to hear. You don’t do that. If you don’t know something, you don’t pretend to. You just tell it to me like it is.”

  “I guess I wish I’d had someone do that for me when I was your age.”

  “Were you scared? When you left?”

  “Terrified. Still am.” Now that I’m back to square one.

  “You never seem scared. You always seem like you know exactly what you’re doing.”

  Mia laughed. “Well, trust me, I don’t. I’m all screwed up. I lost my job yesterday.”

  Hope’s eyes widened. “Are you going to be out on the street?”

  Mia’s smile faded. She’d nearly forgotten what it was like to be sixteen and living seriously day to day. In Hope’s world, no job meant no food and a manager banging on the door demanding rent, or else. “We’re going to be okay for a while.”

  “You said we.”

  “So I did.”

  Hope smiled, but it faded. “How long is a while?”

  “Long enough that you don’t need to worry about it. Longer if Tess and I make Cookie Madness work.”

  “I can work for Tess. I can even quit the science class and work full-time.”

  “No. No way. You’re staying in school. Wherever that might be.”

  Hope blinked. “What does that mean?”

  Mia sighed. “It means your momma wants you back.”

  Hope was quiet a moment. “And what do you want?”

  “I want what’s best for you.”

  “Oh.” Hope looked down at her clasped fingers. “I guess I actually miss her sometimes. You know, a little.”

  A knife to the chest. “That’s good.” Trying not to lose it right there, Mia got up and grabbed her keys. “Time for school.”

  They were in the car before Hope spoke again. “I want to be just like you when I get to be as old as you are. What is that, forty?”

  “Do you want to see your next birthday?”

  Hope actually smiled. “Twenty-five?”

  “See, now you’re talking.” So she’d turned the big three-oh last year. She could handle that. Yeah, her life sucked at the moment, but she could handle that, too.

  For a long moment after Hope left the car, Mia sat there absorbing the morning sun. Hope wanted to be like her.

  God help the both of them.

  That afternoon Hope sat on a swing in the park. The early-evening sun beat down on her head as she idly kicked her foot in the sand, rocking back and forth, eyeing the lazy blue sky. At home she’d have been lying on her bed, wondering why she had no friends, why no one wanted to get to know her.

  It should have disturbed her that she was still alone, but somehow it didn’t. She didn’t feel sick and sad all the time, she didn’t feel like her chest was too tight. She didn’t feel like she wanted to hurt something.

  And—and this was the biggee—she didn’t feel like wearing black all the time. For one thing, it was freaking hot. And for another, she liked Mia’s clothes.

  She liked it here.

  She hadn’t talked to her mother yet. Sugar had needed a break, which Hope understood, because she’d needed the break, too. But now that break was over.

  Still, it would have been nice to hear from her momma, even once, to know she’d been missed, worried about. Even though that wasn’t really her way. Hope would have bet that wasn’t Mia’s way, either, but Mia always wanted to know where Hope was and when she was coming back. At first, Hope had thought it was because Mia needed a break, too, but now she knew differently.

  Mia worried about her.

  And though that knowledge should have felt weird, should have been suffocating, it wasn’t.

  She heard the footsteps and knew it was Cole. He’d said he’d come hang out. He always did what he said he was going to, and the sheer comfort in that warmed her from the inside out. Lifting her head, she watched him walk toward her. He wore baggy cargo pants, a Zeppelin T-shirt, and a tight expression that said his mother had been yelling at him again.

  But then his gaze caught hers and the shadows in his eyes went away. He smiled.

  She smiled back.

  “You look really pretty when you do that,” he said.

  She felt the heat settle in her cheeks. “You don’t have to say stuff like that.”

  “I know.” Moving behind her, he gave her a push.

  Laughing as the swing began to move, she closed her eyes and let the warm wind blow over her face. It felt so good. He pushed her for a few minutes, then sat on the swing next to her.

  “Adam broke up with Amber,” he said.

  She opened her eyes and caught the worry in his. “I don’t care about Adam,” she said.

  He didn’t say anything.

  “I don’t,” she repeated, wanting him to believe her. “I don’t care about any of them.”

  “What do you care about?”

  “My aunt Mia. Kevin, and Tess, and Mike. I care about school. About…”

  “Yeah?”

  “You,” she whispered, holding on to his swing when he would have backed up. “Cole, I mean it.”

  He looked like he desperately wanted to believe her but didn’t.

  “Adam was stupid,” she said. “Being with him was me being stupid. I’m done with that. And I’m done with trying to hurt people to get attention. I just want to be.” She leaned in close, her heart in her throat. “And I just want to be…with you.”

  He just stared at her as if she was speaking a foreign language, and it gave her the courage to admit the rest. “Cole, I’ve never…” With a grimace, she looked down at her toes. “I’ve never really felt…excited by a guy. I mean, I pretended to, but it’s always pretty much been an act.” Never having made the first move before, she wasn’t sure how to make it count, but she lifted her head and stared into his eyes, then shifted even closer, their mouths a breath apart. “But when I’m with you, it feels different.”

  He stared at her, not moving a muscle. “Different like I’m-going-to-puke different, or different good?”

  “The truth?” She shook her head and stared at his mouth. “I’m not sure yet. I want to find out, though. I have to find out. But you also need to know…I have to go back to Tennessee.”

  “When?”

  “Soon, probably.”

  He paused. “That’s going to suck.”

  “Yeah. Big-time.” Her heart was going to barrel right out of her ribs, but she had to do this, wanted to do this. “Cole.”

  He was still as stone, not even breathing, as far as she could tell, his fingers white-knuckled on the steel line. Then his Adam’s apple bounced once, hard