Rainy Day Friends Read online

  And for the briefest of beats, she clung to his hand, needing to borrow his strength. He brought their joined hands to his chest and it was like he’d actually infused her with that strength she’d needed, because when he left, she was able to walk in calmly. “This is a surprise.”

  Lanie met her gaze. “Cora let me in. I didn’t think we needed an audience of well-meaning, nosy Capriottis.” She smiled wryly. “Turns out my need to hate you is overruled by my need to get answers. I really need some of those, River. I’m guessing we both do.”

  River nodded. “I’m ready,” she said and hoped that was really true.

  Chapter 25

  Crippling anxiety is my cardio.

  Lanie didn’t know what to expect from this talk with River. But what she did know was that Mark had been right. She had questions and she was pretty sure River had at least some of the answers. She watched as River swallowed hard and came close, her expression painfully earnest.

  “I’m so glad you’re here. I thought you despised me.”

  Lanie grimaced. “Not despised. Despised is a little strong. It implies that I’d unplug your life support to charge my iPhone, so I save that word for things like chia seeds, infomercials, and slow walkers in the aisles of the grocery store.”

  River snorted. “Even when you’re mad, you’re funny. Can I go first?”

  Lanie let out a breath and nodded.

  River nodded too and came closer. “First, I just want to say that you don’t have to forgive me. You just have to know how truly sorry I am for lying to you. For sneaking into your room and invading your privacy. For all of it.”

  The ironic thing was that if River had only told her the truth from the beginning, Lanie would’ve . . . what? Been a bitch like you were anyway?

  River sat on the loveseat next to Lanie. She wriggled around in frustration until Lanie finally plumped a pillow behind her.

  “Wow,” Lanie said when River finally sat back against the pillow, huffing with exertion. “I didn’t realize how tough it was for you to move around.”

  “This is nothing. You should see me try to go pee in the middle of the night by myself. It’s a beached-whale situation.” She grimaced. “And you didn’t come here to hear any of that.” She met Lanie’s gaze. “I really didn’t know about you until after Kyle was gone.”

  “I believe you.” And with that, Lanie had to admit something else as well. “You aren’t the first other wife to show up.”

  River stared at her, mouth open. “That fucker,” she finally said. “That sexy, charming rat-fink motherfucker.”

  “Yeah.” They sat in silence for a few minutes, both mired down by what they’d both fallen for.

  Finally, River sighed. “You have questions for me. That’s why you’re here, right?”

  She did have questions, but by asking them, by giving a voice to the doubts that came to her deep in the night, she was going to be revealing herself. Completely. She’d thought long and hard about it, but in the end her curiosity had won. “How did you meet him?” she asked. “When did you meet him?”

  “I worked as a waitress at a truck stop on his route.” River paused. “Wait—he really did drive a truck for a beverage distributor, right? He didn’t lie about that too, did he?”

  “No,” Lanie said. “He delivered beverage orders to restaurants, bars, and truck stops the entire width of Southern California every other week. He was gone half the time, always. It’s why I never caught on.”

  River nodded her agreement on that fact. “I knew him for months before anything happened. He’d come in during the afternoons when I was run the most ragged and buy two iced teas and then make me drink one. He’d order an extra meal and get me to eat.” She hesitated again. “He was so . . . warm. And funny. And . . .”

  “Charismatic,” Lanie finished softly. Deep down, she realized she’d been okay with Kyle being away all the time because she truly hadn’t wanted or expected any sort of hugely deep relationship. In hindsight, that sucked for the person she’d been and she was starting to realize that maybe, someday, she’d be ready for a real relationship with a real partner. “I know. He really drew people in. But River, you’re so young.”

  River lifted her chin. “I was nineteen when I met him. Twenty when I got pregnant. I turned twenty-one after he died.”

  “Yes, but Kyle was so much older than you. He should never have touched you.”

  River frowned. “Twenty-eight’s not that much older than me.”

  Lanie sighed and then found herself defending this girl that she didn’t want to care about. “River, he was thirty-eight. And married. He should be shot for what he did to you.”

  River gasped and shot up to her feet. Well, not shot, exactly. Lumbered was more like it. “Are you kidding me?” she shrieked. “I slept with an old guy?”

  Lanie actually laughed. “Yes. I’m sorry.”

  River stared at her for a long moment before letting out a long breath. “Okay, so he definitely made mistakes. A whole lot of them.” She put her hands on her belly. “But this baby, she’s not one of them,” she said fiercely. “And she’ll never feel like she is, I won’t allow it.”

  Seeing this girl so possessively claim a baby that had by all accounts only made her life even more difficult than it already was . . . well, Lanie didn’t even have the words. Her parents had never been penniless or on their own, but nor had they been willing to set aside their circumstances to jump into the joys of parenthood.

  And here was River, loving her baby with such intense protectiveness, it nearly brought tears to Lanie’s eyes. “Of course the baby’s not a mistake.”

  River gave her a small smile. “Thanks. And not that I want to defend him, but Kyle didn’t take advantage of me. When I was with him, he was nothing but kind and caring.”

  Lanie wasn’t feeling so generous. She thought the man was a card-carrying douchebag. “River—”

  “No, listen. After my mom died, I was . . . really alone.” She lifted a shoulder. “It was hard. I missed her so much. She was . . . everything. And I didn’t know how to go on without her. But she wanted me to become a nurse, said I was good at it. So that became my dream. Get through high school and then become a nurse.” She gave a rough laugh. “It seemed so simple, but it’s proven to be anything but. Until Kyle came along. He encouraged me to start taking classes, and when I didn’t have the money he paid for my tuition.” River met her gaze. “He was amazing to me, and so wonderful that I never thought . . .” She shook her head. “I never thought to doubt him or question him.”

  “He told you he was single?”

  “Well . . .” River grimaced. “I’ve been going over that in my mind. Honestly?” She shook her head. “I’m not sure I ever even asked him. We were just friends for a long time, months really, and he was out of town a lot for his job. Whenever he’d come back through, he never said much about himself.” She stopped talking. Swallowed hard. “That’s been keeping me up at night. That he got me to let my guard down so thoroughly that I didn’t even ask him. I’m sorry about that too.”

  Lanie didn’t say anything for a minute. She didn’t know what to say. Kyle’s job had required him to travel. She’d never second-guessed him either, and that was on her. But in hindsight, it’d been easy for him to lead a double and triple and apparently quadruple life. He had been persuasive and charming and charismatic, and she’d been flattered by his attention. By his easy love. “I let my guard down too,” she admitted.

  River let out a shuddery breath, like she’d been holding it for too long, and Lanie realized that she really did care what Lanie thought of her.

  It’d been easy to resent River from the moment her dead husband’s name had left the younger woman’s lips. But it was another thing to hold on to that resentment given the facts. Which was also making it hard to hold back the other emotions vying for space in her brain.

  Self-pity. Sorrow. Regret.

  Shame . . .

  And suddenly she wanted Ri