Rainy Day Friends Read online

He was still on his knees at her chair, his hands on her belly, their faces close enough to share air. Or kiss. It felt incredibly . . . intimate. Terrifyingly so, and she scooted back her chair so fast she almost tipped it over. She certainly would have if he hadn’t caught the armrests and kept her upright.

  “Careful,” he said.

  “Yes. I . . . need to remember to be careful,” she said and busied herself with putting her things back in her first aid kit.

  He rose to his feet. “You’re good at this,” he said quietly, stretching his arm as if testing it for pain, making her realize that he’d most certainly felt the cut—he’d just been able to ignore it.

  “I was going to be a nurse,” she said.

  “Was?”

  “I took a semester of early-morning classes before my waitressing shift, but had to quit.”

  They both looked down at the baby bump.

  “Being an LVN wasn’t realistic anyway,” she said.

  “Why not? You can do anything you want to do.”

  “Says a guy who probably has never found himself knocked up.”

  “Got me there,” he said. “I’ve never been pregnant.”

  “Or devastated by life.”

  He slid her a look. “You think you’ve got a lock on that, do you?”

  She looked into his deep blue gaze, saw the pain he hid, and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry. It was rude of me to make any assumptions.”

  “If you have a question you want to ask me, ask.”

  “I think maybe you have that backward,” she said.

  “Okay, I’ll bite. Is it me, or all men?”

  “All men,” she said without hesitation.

  He looked at her and nodded. “Okay, that I can work with.”

  “It wasn’t a challenge, Holden. I’m not in a place to be interested in anyone, especially not . . .”

  “Especially not what?”

  “Someone I want to be interested in.”

  “Maybe that will change.”

  She was already shaking her head before he finished the sentence. He was stoic, rugged, had nerves of steel, and therefore was steady as a rock. All very attractive traits to her and maybe if she wasn’t so . . . damaged, not to mention a huge fraud, she’d be tempted. “Don’t count on it,” she whispered, pulling free. “Or me. I’m not worth it.”

  “We’re going to have to agree to disagree there,” he said.

  Cora came through. “Oh, Holden honey, I’m so glad to see you here. I was just going to text you. River’s going to need some help and both Mia and Alyssa are busy.”

  “I don’t need help,” River said.

  “Not yet, but I’ve got a group of fifteen coming through.”

  “I’ve got it,” Holden said. “No problem.”

  River shook her head. “I’ve got it.”

  “You’ve both got it,” Cora said. “It’s Wildstone’s city council. I’ve lured them up here for lunch, some wine tasting, and to visit our horses and spread, all in the hope of getting them to host some of their annual events here to up our coverage. So I need River’s amazing hostess skills turned up to a ten and I need my horse wrangler to be the strong, silent cowboy type to put the fear of God and/or Cora into anyone who attempts something stupid to show off.” She shook her head. “I went to school with five of those men, and trust me when I say stupid is likely to happen.” She blew them a kiss and vanished.

  Five minutes later, fifteen city council men and women arrived. River was extremely aware of Holden at her side as she walked everyone through the place, and when they got to the stables, he effortlessly took over, introducing the group to the horses, showing them around, pointing out the wild horses in the far pasture.

  “You’re young to know so much about horses,” one of the women said to Holden.

  “I’ve been here since I was fifteen,” he said.

  “You’re not a Capriotti.”

  “No,” he said. “But they took me in as if I was.”

  “Oh,” she said with a soft smile. “You’re the young man she always brags about. She took you in off the streets.”

  “Yes, ma’am, she did.”

  “And you went into the army to make something of yourself. She’s so proud of you.”

  “And I’m grateful to her,” he said. “To all of the Capriottis. If you bring your business out here, they’ll take care of you, I can promise you that.”

  River had turned to look at him, but he didn’t meet her gaze, just went about handling the large group with what looked like effortless ease. Later, when everyone had gone and they stood in the reception area once again, she stared at him. “You must think I’m a self-centered, spoiled bitch.”

  “I don’t think that at all.”

  “What do you think?” she whispered.

  “That I’m grateful our thoughts don’t appear in bubbles over our heads.”

  She laughed a little, but considered the look in his eyes. It was something different. She wasn’t one hundred percent sure of what this look was, but it made her heart beat a little too fast and sent a rush of happy straight through her body. She was still staring at him when his cell phone buzzed. Without taking his gaze off her, he reached back and silenced it.

  “What if it’s work?” she asked, feeling panicked that he’d risk getting in trouble for her. “Holden, please. Get it.”

  And the moment he did, reluctantly, she scooped up her stack of things that needed copying and beat it to the employee staff room.

  When she got back to her desk five minutes later, Holden was gone and she breathed a sigh of relief.

  Or so she told herself.

  She’d been so spoiled these past few weeks here, forgetting what it was like to worry about her next meal or if she’d have enough gas to run the heater when she got cold at night. Forgetting also that she wasn’t the only one with a shitty past. But she didn’t deserve Holden, or even to get to know his past. She didn’t deserve any of this. Cora and the Capriottis had her worries easing away, and knowing it—and the real reason she’d come here—had guilt eating her insides away.

  TWO DAYS LATER Lanie came by to get her for lunch, as she did every day now.

  Like they were more than coworkers. Like they were friends. Lanie treated her like she meant something to her.

  It both warmed River in ways she hadn’t realized she needed warming and also only served to increase the weight of that ball of guilt seated heavily in her chest.

  The tables were already filling up as everyone came outside. She and Lanie took the very end of the far table because Lanie preferred the quietest corner and liked to lay low.

  Fine with River, since she felt like an imposter.

  That’s because you are, a little voice in her head whispered nastily.

  Lanie looked over at her and gave a small smile, and a little bit more of River’s happy bubble burst. Every time Lanie was nice to her, every single time, it was a visceral reminder that she shouldn’t still be here. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

  “Do what?” Lanie asked.

  “Be nice to me.”

  “Yes, but they taught us in kindergarten, so . . .”

  River choked out a laugh, but it rang hollow because it wasn’t funny. Not in the slightest.

  “You feeling better?” Lanie asked.

  “Yes,” she fibbed. “Much.”

  “And you don’t have to do that,” Lanie said.

  “What?”

  “Lie.”

  River met Lanie’s knowing gaze. “I’m a pro at it, you know,” Lanie said casually. “Pretending to be good. Really good at it. I’m maybe even the queen, but you’re close.”

  “So I’m what, the princess of being full of shit?”

  Lanie laughed. “Yeah. You can be the princess.”

  Which made them family. She could see Lanie take in the same thought as well and she gave River a little smile that she absolutely did not deserve. Not one little bit. Because as much as she wanted it to