Jennifer Crusie Bundle Read online

  “What sweats?” Nick kissed her, and she leaned against him until Angela showed her disapproval with her claws. “Lose the cat,” Nick said, and moved into the dining area. He dumped the bags on the table and started taking out cartons. “That’s great about Gina. Now, what was that about phone calls?”

  Tess trailed after him. “I’ve started looking for Lanny and the manuscript. So far, I’ve got nothing, but I’ve got a couple of hot leads for tomorrow.”

  “Okay.” Nick was obviously not enthused, but he didn’t push the point. “Is there anything I can do to help? Christine can make some of those calls for you, if you’d like.”

  Tess dropped into a chair and pulled a carton toward her. “Who’s Christine?”

  “My secretary.” Nick grinned. “Hell of a woman, Christine.”

  Tess stopped, her fork frozen in midair as she scooped pepper steak from the box. “Is she?” she asked coolly.

  Nick’s grin widened. “You’re jealous.” He collapsed into the chair across from Tess, beaming. “My life is now complete. Pass the pepper steak. I’m a happy man.”

  “I’m not jealous,” Tess said stiffly. Then she put down her fork and slumped back in her chair and grinned back at him. “Yes, I am,” she said. “All right, if I’m going to be a jealous bitch, I’m going to do it right. Tell me everything about her, and I’m warning you, she’d better be eighty-eight and ugly.”

  “She’s a brunette, about thirty, and she’s very good-looking.” Nick stopped to consider what he’d just said. “She’s just not very…human. She’s like one of those models in the magazines, the ones who look as if they’re having an out-of-body experience. Sort of…blank but still conscious.” He shook his head. “She really is good-looking if you can get past the blank part. Park’s been trying to date her since I hired her three years ago.”

  Tess thought of Gina and her grin evaporated. “Is he still trying?”

  “I suppose so.” Nick was so busy with the rice that he didn’t see her frown. “It’s not going to do him any good. Christine does not date her bosses.”

  “And how did you find this out?” Tess asked, torn between protecting Gina and killing Nick.

  “I asked her out,” Nick said. He scooped up some rice and then paused with the fork halfway to his mouth as he caught her glare. “Three years ago,” he added. “I asked her out three years ago right after I hired her. I didn’t even know you then.” When Tess’s scowl didn’t fade, he put down his fork and addressed her with great patience. “That was three years ago, Tess. And now I think of her as a sister. An extremely attractive, extremely efficient, extremely distant, extremely platonic sister.” He picked up his fork again. “This jealousy thing is a real ego trip for me, but don’t overdo it.”

  “Do you ever get jealous of me?”

  “No,” Nick said. “You are the straightest person I know. You’d never cheat on me.” He went back to his pepper steak.

  “What about people from my past?” Tess asked him.

  “Like who?”

  “Like Lanny.”

  Nick choked on his rice and steak, and Tess handed him a paper napkin. “Lanny?” he said when he recovered. “I thought you said—”

  “Gina and I were talking and I started thinking I might be using him as a sort of…ideal,” Tess said. “She made me think that might be why I’m so hard on you all the time. Because you’re not Lanny.”

  Nick pushed his food away.

  “Don’t stop eating,” Tess said. “It’s just a dumb theory.”

  “This Lanny. He was a big guy with brown hair and a brown beard and Abraham Lincoln ears, right?”

  “Right. How did you know about the ears? I’d almost forgotten that.” She leaned forward. “Did you find a picture?”

  “No,” Nick said. “I guessed.”

  “You did not.” Tess pushed her own food away. “You did not guess big ears. You—”

  “I guessed that because every one of those losers you’ve dated since I’ve known you has been a big guy with brown hair and big ears,” Nick said. “I used to wonder where the hell you found them. I had one theory that they were cousins.”

  Tess’s mouth dropped open. “My God. You’re right.”

  “Two of them had beards.” Nick pulled his food back in front of him. “So what does this tell us?”

  “That I’m living in the past?”

  “Maybe if I grew a beard…” Nick said.

  “No,” Tess said. “I don’t want you to be Lanny. I love…the way you look.”

  Nick’s head had jerked up on “I love,” and he watched her for a moment before he said slowly, “All right. No beard.”

  “I’ve been thinking. I’m sorry if I was…a burden this weekend.”

  “You know that stuff you told me about how I turn into Dr. Jekyll and you hate it?” Nick said.

  “Yes.”

  “Well, sometimes you turn into Crusader Rabbit and I hate it. But sooner or later, you’re Tess again, so I just wait. Your dinner’s getting cold. Eat.”

  Tess began to poke through the cartons, feeling ridiculously relieved about nothing in particular. “So where are the pot stickers?”

  “You only get half, so don’t even think about pigging out on them,” Nick said, but he slid the carton across the gleaming ebony table anyway.

  Tess watched him over the top of the carton as she fished out one of the dumplings. His shirtsleeves were rolled up and the muscles in his forearms flexed as he scooped out rice and beef, and that lock of hair fell in his eyes again. For once she was positive he didn’t know about it. She ate slowly, listening to his voice as he talked about his day, automatically answering his questions about the phone calls she’d made and watching every relaxed move he made. This was Nick at home, shoes off, being completely himself, scarfing down Chinese food at the speed of light.

  He was the sexiest thing she’d ever seen.

  “I’ll be right back,” she said when the last of the pot stickers was gone. She went upstairs to the bedroom to get a condom out of his night table. Then she went back downstairs and seduced him on the dining-room table with remarkably little protest from him, although he did point out later that it was a damn good thing he had expensive tastes in furniture or they’d have ended up on the floor with some serious splinters.

  “I know, I know,” Tess said, curled warm against him on the table. “You’d rather be in a bed.”

  “Oh, I don’t know.” Nick reached over her to get a carton that had toppled onto a chair earlier in the proceedings. His body was hot against hers still, and she snuggled into him reflexively. He balanced the carton on her shoulder and fished out a fortune cookie. “At least this way, I don’t have to go downstairs for the after-sex munchies.” He offered her the cookie.

  Tess took it and broke it open. The fortune read, “You are beginning a new journey.”

  “Well, that’s true enough,” she said, and rested her cheek against his shoulder as he broke his open next to her ear. “What does yours say?”

  “People who make love on dining-room tables screw up their knees,” Nick read.

  “That’s not right.”

  “The hell it isn’t,” Nick said. “I may never walk again. I was already wiped out from throwing three games of racquetball.”

  “Racquetball?” Tess said.

  “Don’t ask, it was awful.” Nick sat up on the table and rubbed his knee. “If you’re really set on this table business, I’m going to send Christine out for knee pads.”

  “Forget Christine,” Tess said, and pulled him back down to her.

  The fortune cookies ended up on the floor this time.

  “CHRISTINE?” NICK SAID into the intercom the next morning. “Come here. Your master calls.”

  Christine appeared in front of him, staring into space, probably planning a coup somewhere. He just hoped it wasn’t at Patterson and Patterson.

  “Christine, I have a lunch date today with Mr. Patterson,” Nick began.

&n