Jennifer Crusie Bundle Read online

  “Bad idea,” Zack said quickly. “Murder is always a bad idea, but killing a cop? No.” He shook his head. “Don’t do it. The hassle is enormous.”

  “It’s not murder,” Bradley said after a moment. “It’s self-defense. I heard an intruder in the basement and shot him. It’s self-defense.”

  “Well, actually, Brad, it’s not,” Zack said, trying to sound calm and friendly. “Self-defense only works if the intruder is actually approaching you in a threatening manner. Just offing somebody in your basement doesn’t count.” Bradley appeared to hesitate, and Zack took heart and moved on. “Now, obviously you were duped by John Bradley, so there’s no need…”

  “No.” Bradley looked into Zack’s eyes. “You’re not stupid. You know about the windows.”

  “The ones John Bradley shot out,” Zack said helpfully.

  “You know it was me.”

  Terrific. Shut up, Bradley.

  “You knew it was me all along. That part of this was always between us.” Bradley smiled as he said it. “You knew. I kept calling to see if you were here, and you always were. So I told J.B. to call you for me, and I stood in the front yard, and when you picked up the phone, I shot at you.”

  “You almost shot Lucy that night,” Zack said, and Bradley’s smile disappeared.

  “I would never hurt Lucy. When I shot at you on the street that day and almost hit her, I was terrified. I was trying to hit you, not her. I won’t miss this time.”

  This was bad. Bradley raised the gun another inch and Zack stared down its barrel. A .45. Again, a .45. They’d be scraping him off the house next door. He had to get out of Property Crimes. It was too damn dangerous. Then he looked past the gun into Bradley’s angry eyes and made a discovery that scared the hell out of him.

  Bradley wasn’t nuts. He was just mad as hell. At him. Because he’d slept with Lucy. And Zack knew exactly how that anger felt because it was one of the reasons Zack didn’t like Bradley much, either.

  If I thought he’d slept with her while she was seeing me, Zack thought, I’d be furious, too. Imagine if I’d been married to her. Imagine if she obviously wanted him more than me.

  I’d want to kill him.

  Which meant that unless he came up with something fast, he was going to die.

  “You know, Bradley,” Zack said suddenly, “if you shoot me, you’ll never get Lucy back. If we sit down and work this out, you could get off with probation, a suspended sentence. Once Lucy finds out the blonde was lying, she’ll understand why you did it. Unless you shoot me. I’m a cop, Bradley. They’ll throw away the key. And you’ll never get to explain to Lucy.”

  “I already explained it.” Bradley dropped the gun slightly. “She doesn’t care. She wants you. As long as you’re alive…”

  He began to sight down the barrel again, and Zack gave up.

  “Put the gun down, Bradley.”

  Lucy’s voice cut through the silence, and they both froze. Zack stared past Bradley to the stairs where she’d appeared, a few steps above him, her brand-new autographed baseball bat balanced above her shoulder.

  “Lucy?” Bradley turned slightly, just enough to see her from the corner of his eye. Not enough to give Zack room to move.

  “Put it down, Bradley,” she said. “This won’t help things. If you shoot him, you’ll only be in more trouble. Put it down.”

  “Lucy, you don’t understand. Go back upstairs.” Bradley turned back to Zack.

  “Go, honey,” Zack said, and Bradley’s face went red with anger.

  “No, Bradley,” Lucy said. “Listen to me. I have a baseball bat here, and I will hit you with it if you don’t drop your gun.” She said it very calmly, as if it were the most sensible thing in the world instead of the most ridiculous, but Zack could see the bat tremble in her hands, and he felt a chill of fear for her like nothing he had ever felt for himself.

  Bradley turned back to her, and Zack had a nightmare vision of him suddenly swinging the gun around to her.

  “Go away, Lucy,” Zack said, and Bradley turned back to him, furious.

  “Drop it, Bradley,” Lucy said, and Bradley twitched his eyes back to her and then back to Zack.

  “Don’t be ridiculous, Lucy.” Bradley’s voice began to shake with impatience. “You won’t hit me with a baseball bat. The whole idea is ludicrous. You are not a violent person.”

  “Oh, I can be.” Lucy swallowed hard. “I cracked your friend’s skull with a bat this morning. It made the most awful sound, Bradley. Like a bad melon. I don’t want to hit you, Bradley, and I know you don’t want to shoot Zack. Just put the gun down. Please.”

  “Oh, I want to shoot Zack.” Bradley took careful aim at Zack. “I really do. And you won’t hit me, not even to save him. You can’t. You’re not capable of violence. I know you. You’re my wife, and I know you better than you know yourself.” He began to squint his eyes, ready to pull the trigger.

  Zack gave up hope and looked at Lucy because he wanted her to be the last thing he saw before he died.

  “Well, the thing is, Bradley, I’ve changed,” Lucy said.

  And then she swung the bat solidly into the back of his head.

  His head jerked forward, and he flung his arms wide as he fell through the broken rail to the floor, jerking on the trigger of the .45 in reflex action, narrowly missing Zack, who had gone in low the moment that Lucy had moved. Bradley fell hard and then staggered to his feet, and Zack was there, putting him down with one punch that had a lot of pent-up frustration behind it.

  Lucy sat down hard on the stairs, clutching her bat and staring at them both in amazement.

  Zack picked up the gun and held it on a dazed Bradley. “I enjoyed that,” he said as he nursed his left hand. “Call 911.”

  “I already did,” Lucy said. “Before I came down here. I opened the front door so they’d come in when they got here.” Even as she spoke, she heard cautious footsteps above. “Are you all right?”

  “Yes,” Zack said. “I think I broke my hand, but it was worth it. I’ve been wanting to punch him out for two weeks. By the way, thanks for saving my life.”

  “If I saved it, does that mean I get to keep it?” Lucy asked, but there were people coming down the steps, and he didn’t hear her. She sat on the stairs and watched it all, sad for Bradley and relieved at the same time.

  WHEN EVERYONE HAD GONE, Zack went to find her to tell her that Tina was coming to stay with her while he went downtown, to tell her that she really was safe now, to tell her…

  He found her still on the steps, and sat beside her, trying to figure out how to tell her the most important part.

  “He really thought he loved me,” Lucy said. “Before this John Bradley mess, I mean. I still feel terrible about that. He thought he loved me, but I only loved the house and then you. It’s almost my fault that this happened.”

  Zack scowled at her. “No, it isn’t. That’s dumb. Obviously…” Then he stopped, his scowl vanishing. “Back up a minute. You said you loved me.”

  “I know. Do you think I could talk Tina into getting Bradley a lawyer?”

  “Not in a million years. Forget them for a minute.” He took a deep breath. “I think we should get married. I know you think it’s too soon, but you’re wrong.”

  Lucy started to say something but he stopped her. “Now just listen for a minute. There are a lot of good reasons why we should get married. For example, the dogs need a father.”

  “Zack—” Lucy began.

  “Hell, they’re boys. They need a male around.”

  “Zack—” Lucy began again.

  “Okay, okay. Here’s a good one.” Zack put his arm around her because it felt so good to have her close. For a moment, looking down into her big brown eyes disoriented him, and then he remembered what he was doing. “Where was I? Oh, right. We’re bound to make a go of it because people always work harder on their second marriages, so you’ll give it everything you’ve got. And not only that, but you’ll be comparing me to Bradley, a