Faking It d-2 Read online

  “Kyle, old boy,” Simon said when they were outside, and Kyle turned around, his face a polite mask. “A word with you.”

  “Yes, sir?” Kyle smiled at them, citizen of the year.

  “About Nadine,” Davy said. “Make a move and we’ll break all your fingers.”

  Kyle’s smile froze in place.

  “You see, Kyle,” Simon said, still affable, “we know you.”

  “Hell, Kyle,” Davy said, “we are you.”

  “And we care deeply for Nadine’s health and happiness,” Simon went on. “We are, if you will, honorary uncles.”

  “With police records,” Davy added helpfully.

  “Uh,” Kyle said.

  “So we wanted your assurances,” Simon said, “that Nadine will have a pleasant evening.”

  “That won’t involve her Macing you,” Davy said.

  “Because we would take it amiss.” Simon smiled at him.

  “Which is where the broken lingers would come in.” Davy smiled, too.

  “Uh,” Kyle said again, and Nadine came out of the gallery.

  “I’m ready,” she said brightly, looking like a present waiting to be unwrapped.

  “Touch her and die,” Davy said to Kyle softly.

  “Great,” Kyle said, looking from Davy to Simon and back.

  Nadine looked at them, too, suspicion dawning in her eyes. She took Kyle’s arm and said, “I forgot to tell you, do not talk to these guys.”

  “Uh-huh,” Kyle said and let her steer him toward his car, casting one wary look back over his shoulder as they went.

  “I feel fairly good about that,” Simon said.

  “Me, too,” Davy said. “We’ve got an hour before poker. How about a drink?”

  “After you, old boy,” Simon said, opening the door. “Are you really going to break his fingers?”

  “Nah, I’ll let Nadine do it,” Davy said, seeing Tilda through the office door. “These Goodnight women are nobody to mess with.”

  THAT NIGHT the poker game got two new players: Louise and Ford. Ford was exactly the poker player that Davy had figured him for -alert, smart, and ruthless- but he sat down at the table with a handicap: Gwennie. His concentration was fine until she’d move or speak and then, for a moment, he’d be gone. Davy was torn between interest in the situation in general and concern for Gwen in particular. He didn’t know who Ford was, but he was certain he wasn’t a fuzzy bunny.

  Of course, neither was Gwennie, all appearances to the contrary. There were those teeth, for example.

  Louise provided the other wrinkle. She distracted Simon so Davy had no competition there -Simon would have gratefully turned over his entire wallet if he could have gotten her upstairs immediately- but something about her was bothering everybody else, too, except for Jeff. Davy was developing a fine appreciation for Jeff; he was like the control in an experimental group of reality-challenged divas. Louise was also distracted, much more interested in Simon than she was in her cards, and the result was that after four hands, Davy was annoyed. He didn’t mind winning if there was some skill involved, but with all the tension at the table, he could have just reached over and taken their money and they wouldn’t have noticed. Even Tilda, he noted with disgust. They were starting their fifth hand, and he was about ready to quit and go play pool when Nadine came in, her face stormy. Davy tried to look innocent, but Nadine honed in on him with eyes like blue-white lasers. It was like having Tilda mad at him. He felt right at home.

  “You’re back early,” Andrew said as he dealt the cards.

  Gwennie reached up and patted Nadine as she came to stand beside her. “Didn’t it go well, honey?”

  “It would have gone better,” Nadine said, staring at Davy, “if somebody hadn’t threatened my date.”

  Gwen looked at Ford, who looked back at her, calm as ever, while Davy ignored Nadine to pick up his cards. A queen, a nine, a six with a four and a deuce showing. Garbage.

  “Davy?” Tilda said from beside him.

  “Not my bet,” Davy said. “Gwennie’s up.”

  “About the date,” Louise said, turning to look at Simon. “Which one of you-”

  “They both did,” Nadine said, transferring her scowl from Davy to Simon and back to Davy. “They said they’d beat him up.”

  “Davy,” Tilda said.

  Davy put his cards down. “We did not say we’d beat him up. Exactly. And it was necessary. That kid was up to no good.”

  “No doubt about it,” Simon said.

  “Bring home a good one,” Davy said to Nadine, “and we won’t interfere.”

  “I get to decide who the good ones are,” Nadine said.

  “I don’t think so,” Davy said. “You picked out Burton and Kyle.”

  “Daddy,” Nadine said. “Talk to them.”

  Andrew lifted his chin. “Nadine is allowed to date whomever she wants as long as he’s not over eighteen and doesn’t have a police record.”

  Ouch, Davy thought, watching Simon try not to flinch. Ford remained impassive.

  “And we never interfere in her life because we trust her and admire her,” Andrew said.

  Nadine nodded.

  “Except for this time because that kid really was up to no good.” Andrew stuck his thumb up. “Way to go, guys.”

  “Thank you,” Davy said. “We’re playing poker, Nadine. It’s a game of chance, much like the way you date. Go get your piggy bank.”

  “Wait a minute,” Louise said, sounding fiercely maternal, “is this a Poor Baby?” and Nadine shook her head.

  “They’re right,” she said, pulling over a chair. “He was awful about music. He’d never heard of Dusty Springfield, if you can believe it.”

  “Told you,” Davy said to Tilda.

  “Could we play poker?” Simon said, and the rest of the table turned to look at him.

  “In a hurry, old boy?” Davy said. “Just shove your money across the table to me. That’s where it’s going anyway.”

  “First, you promise never to do that again,” Nadine said to him. “To my dates, I mean.”

  “What good would promising do?” Davy said. “I lie. You in this game or not?”

  “I’m in,” Nadine said.

  Davy threw his cards in the middle. “Redeal, Andrew. Your daughter wants in so she can give me her allowance.”

  Andrew gathered up the cards again. “And you had a lousy hand.”

  “That, too,” Davy said.

  “So did I,” Andrew said. “Toss your cards in, ladies and gentlemen. It’s a new deal.”

  “That also is not fair,” Tilda said, but she gave Andrew her cards.

  “Of course not, honey,” Davy said, rubbing her shoulder. “You’re playing with me.”

  Andrew dealt again and Davy watched them all pick up their cards, more from force of habit than from any real interest. He was going to win anyway unless Nadine decided to take her vengeance with cards, and even then-

  Across from him, Louise tapped her finger on one of her cards three times and sighed.

  Davy put his cards down and stared.

  “What?” Eve said to him from behind Louise’s contacts.

  “I’m out,” Davy said, standing up. “And so is Tilda.”

  “What?” Tilda said. “Hey, I-”

  “Now, Betty,” Davy said. “Say good night to the family.”

  Tilda looked up at him. “Good night,” she said to her staring family, and he led her through the door and up the three flights of stairs to her room.

  “About Louise,” he said when the door was closed behind them.

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake,” Tilda said. “That’s what this is about? Look, I know she’s practically devouring Simon at the table, but she’s perfectly sane, she won’t jump him. There’s no reason-”

  “Louise is perfectly Eve,” Davy said. “ ‘It’s the same dame.’”

  Tilda went still.

  “That’s a movie quote,” Davy said.

  “I know it’s a-”