Faking It d-2 Read online

  “It wasn’t your money. You stole it.” Ronald looked around, apprehensive. “Where’s Simon? Is he here?”

  “Simon is in Miami. I will be beating you up on my own. And you know it was my money, you saw me make it playing the same stocks you did-”

  “The million you started with wasn’t yours,” Ronald said, and Davy grew still, struck by the three-year-old memory of a beautiful, enraged blonde.

  “Clea.” Davy shook his head. “Did you have a good time, Rabbit?”

  “See, you don’t even deny it.” Ronald was virtuous in his indignation. “You stole that poor woman’s inheritance from her father-”

  Davy sighed and reached for the salt. If Rabbit had embezzled in the heat of Clea, it was going to be difficult to cool him down again. “That woman is not poor, she’s greedy. She inherited a chunk of change from her first husband and the last I heard she’d married some rich old guy in the Bahamas.”

  “You stole her money,” Ronald said, sticking to the high ground. “She’s innocent.”

  Davy pulled Ronald’s plate over to his side of the booth and reached for the ketchup. “Rabbit, I know she’s a great lay, but not even you could believe that.”

  Ronald drew himself up. “You’re talking about the woman I love.”

  “Clea is not the kind of woman you love,” Davy said grimly. “She’s the kind of woman you think you love, but then it turns out you were just renting her until somebody else came along with an option to buy.” He dumped ketchup on Ronald’s remaining fries.

  “I believe in her,” Ronald said.

  “You also believed the tech ride was going to last forever,” Davy said. “Like my daddy always says, if it seems too good to be true-”

  “We’re not talking about money,” Rabbit said. “She loves me.”

  “If you’re talking about Clea, you’re talking about money. It’s all she cares about.”

  “She cares about her art,” Ronald said.

  “Her art? That’s what she calls one cult movie and two porn flicks? Art?”

  “No,” Ronald said, looking confused. “Her art. That’s how I met her, at her family’s art museum when I was helping value her late husband’s collection.”

  “Late husband?” Davy laughed. “Imagine my surprise. Rabbit, her family doesn’t have an art museum, and she turned to you when she found out you had access to my accounts. What’d the last guy die of?” He held up a fry. “No, wait, let me guess. Heart attack.”

  “It was very sudden,” Ronald said.

  “Yeah, it always is with Clea’s husbands,” Davy said. “Word of advice: don’t marry her. She looks really good in black.”

  Ronald stuck out what little chin he had. “She said you’d speak badly of her. She said you’d threatened her, and that you’d spread lies about her past. You lie for a living, Davy, why should I believe-”

  Davy shook his head. “I don’t have to lie on this one. The truth is grim enough. Look, if you want to commit suicide, dying in Clea’s bed is as good a way to go as any, but first I need my money back. I don’t like being poor. It limits my scope.”

  “I don’t have it,” Ronald said, looking affronted. “I returned it to its rightful owner.”

  Davy sat back and looked at him with pity laced with exasperation. “You already gave it to her. So when was the last time you saw her?”

  Ronald flushed. “Four days ago. She’s very busy.”

  “You gave her the money as soon as you got it, and then she got busy.”

  “No,” Ronald said. “She’s collecting, too. It’s part of our plan, to build a collection-”

  “Clea’s collecting art?”

  “See,” Ronald said smugly. “I knew you didn’t understand her.”

  “There’s not enough fast money in art.” Davy frowned as he pushed away Ronald’s empty plate and picked up Ronald’s coffee cup. “Plus it’s a bigger gamble than tech stocks. Art is not a good way to make money unless you’re a dealer without morals, which entails working.” The coffee was lukewarm and did not go well with the fries. Rabbit had no taste.

  “It’s not about the money,” Ronald was saying. “She fell in love with folk paintings.”

  “Clea doesn’t fall in love,” Davy said. “Clea follows money. Somewhere in this there is a guy with money. And a bad heart. How’s your heart, Rabbit? You in good health?”

  “Excellent,” Ronald said acidly.

  “Another reason for her to dump you,” Davy said. “You lost your fortune in the tech slump and you’re not going to be easy to kill. So who’s the guy she’s spending time with? The guy with a lot of money, a weak heart, and a big art collection?”

  Ronald sat very still.

  “You know,” Davy said. “I’d feel sorry for you if you hadn’t ripped me off for three million. Who is it?”

  “Mason Phipps,” Ronald said. “He was Cyril’s financial manager. Clea saw his folk art at a party at his house in Miami.”

  “And shortly after that she saw the rest of him.” Davy sat back in the booth, his low opinion of humanity in general, and Clea in particular, once again confirmed. “What a gal. She’s learning about art so she can dazzle him into marriage and an early grave.”

  “Mason’s not that old. He’s in his fifties.”

  “The one I saw her kill was in his forties. I gather Cyril was her latest victim?”

  “She did not kill her husband,” Ronald said. “Cyril was eighty-nine. He died of natural causes. And she didn’t make porn. She made art films. And she loves m-”

  “Coming Clean,” Davy said. “Set in a car wash. She’s billed as Candy Suds, but it’s Clea. Don’t believe me, go rent it yourself.”

  “I don’t-”

  “But first you’re going to help me get my money back.”

  Ronald drew himself up again. “I most certainly am not.”

  Davy looked at him with pity. “Rabbit, you can stop bluffing. I have you. If I tell the Feds what you’ve done, you’re back on the inside. I understand why you fell for Clea, I wasted two years on her myself, but you have to pick yourself up now. I’m going to get my money back, and you’re either going to help me or you’re going to go away for a very long time. Is she really worth that to you? Considering she hasn’t called you since she got the money?”

  Ronald sat motionless for the entire speech and for a few moments after, and Davy watched his face, knowing wheels were turning behind that blank facade. Then Ronald spoke.

  “Coming Clean?”

  Davy nodded.

  “You and she…”

  Davy nodded.

  “You think she and Mason…”

  Davy nodded.

  “I don’t know how to get the money back,” Ronald said.

  “I do,” Davy said. “Tell me about Clea and art.”

  Ronald began to talk about Mason Phipps and his collection of folk paintings; how Clea had followed Mason to begin her own collection and was staying with him now; how she had promised to call, would call, as soon as she had a chance.

  “She’s very busy with the collection,” Ronald said. “It’s taking a lot of her time because Mason has to teach her so much.”

  How you ever made a living from crime being this gullible is beyond me, Davy thought, but he knew that wasn’t fair. Clea was the kind of woman who flattened a man’s thought processes. God knew, she’d ironed his out a time or two.

  Ronald went on about Clea the Art Collector, and Davy sat back and began to calculate. All he needed to do was con her address and account number out of Ronald, get her laptop, go into her hard drive, find her password-knowing Clea, she used the same password for everything-and transfer the money. It wasn’t a con but it was semi-risky, and it appealed to him a lot more than it should have. He was not looking forward to breaking the law. He was straight now. He’d matured. Crime no longer excited him.

  “What?” Ronald said.

  “I didn’t say anything.”

  “You’re breathing heavy.”