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Gone…forever gone. Oh Deep…

  Chapter Forty-three

  Deep was so far past exhaustion he could barely feel. The power it took to keep the three of them at a spot so many light years from their physical forms, as well as the energy to dart around, keeping one step ahead of the AllFather, was draining him rapidly. He felt like he was running a race without oxygen, like his lungs were burning and the big muscles in his thighs were quivering with fatigue until he might collapse at any moment. But that was all right—as long as Kat and Lock got to safety. That was all he cared about, all that mattered.

  When he felt the AllFather catch him, like a corpse-cold hand closing around his ankle, dragging him down to the bottom of a lake of darkness, it was almost a relief. Still, he tried to get away. Straining, he pulled with all his might. He wouldn’t leave Kat and Lock alone if he could help it. Couldn’t leave…And then the darkness erupted around him and he lost sight of the stars and planets and space. There was nothing but greasy black nothingness wherever he looked.

  Sssooo, he heard a familiar voice whisper in his mind. I did not know you had sssuch ssspecial talentsss, Warrior. How fortuitousss, especially when I am ssso very hungry…

  He’ll eat me, Deep thought with despair. He’ll suck down my spirit like a fine wine—he won’t even have to extract it from my body. I’ve handed it to him on a silver platter. That was an Earth vernacular saying which he had learned only recently but he’d never imagined he would be able to apply it to himself. Kat, he thought as the cold, oily tentacles slid around him, suffocating him, making it hard to breath. Lock, I’m so sorry. I loved you both so much. But if my death can set you free, it’s worth it.

  Sighing, he released the tension inside himself, the psychic anchor which had held them all in place in this particular part of space. He thought he heard cries of sorrow as he let Kat and Lock’s spirits go, allowing them to slingshot back to their waiting bodies on the Mother ship. But they were so faint he couldn’t be sure. The AllFather didn’t seem to notice them at all—he was too busy preparing to devour.

  So this is how it ends, Deep thought, feeling oddly at peace. I just hope it goes quickly.

  Not quick, Warrior, the AllFather hissed in his head. Not too quickly at all. You helped my ssson to sssteal my bride. And sssince he is gone beyond my reach for the present, I want to sssavor your pain. Ssslowly…oh, ssso ssslowly… I—

  No. You shall not have him. A sudden flash of light, like a stroke of lightening splitting the darkness, cut off the AllFather’s words. Deep was momentarily blinded. What—?

  Not what, Warrior. Who. The voice in the darkness was filled with authority and distinctly feminine.

  Who, then? Deep thought at it, feeling disoriented and confused. Where was the AllFather? What was happening to him? And who was this new entity he was speaking with?

  Do you not know me? The voice was gentler now, almost laughing. The dark, oily tendrils suddenly shrank back at the sound and then disappeared altogether. You have worshiped me your whole life, the voice went on. Or pretended to, anyway.

  Goddess? Mother of All Life? Deep could barely believe it. Like his brother and all other Kindred, he had been raised to show deep respect to the female deity they worshipped. But deep in his heart he had always harbored doubt as to her actual existence.

  Doubt no more, Warrior. The light around him was growing. A soft glow that seemed to be the exact opposite of the AllFather’s evil black cloud.

  I do not doubt, Deep sent, wishing he could see the being he was addressing.

  To see my face is to die. No mortal can look upon my true visage and live, the Goddess sent gently. But I have provided a part of myself to you, Deep—a part you rejected.

  To Deep’s surprise, out of the glowing white light stepped Kat. Or the image of her, anyway. She was wearing the deep green gown Lock had gotten her for the party on Twin Moons and her long auburn hair was loose around her shoulders. She was so beautiful his heart ached, yet he was confused.

  I don’t understand. Are you saying that Kat is actually you? That’s she’s a goddess?

  No, of course not. Musical laughter like chimes filled the air around him. But I place a little piece of myself in every female that I match with my males. That piece is what calls to you—what starts the dream sharing and causes the attraction between Kindred males and their chosen brides. Do you see now why fighting your love for Kat was useless from the start?

  I see. Deep nodded respectfully. Forgive me, I beg. Truly, I have misused your gift to me most shamefully, Goddess.

  You certainly have. The voice was stern. For that willful misuse you deserve to die, Deep. As well you know.

  I know. He bowed his head submissively.

  But there are others who would miss you if you were gone. Your brother Lock, for instance. Though you have treated him cruelly, still he loves you. And Kat, of course. She too would grieve your loss, though you have done your best to turn her against you.

  Kat…Deep almost couldn’t continue. Forgive me, Goddess, but Kat will not have long to miss me. She has soul poisoning. I fear she hasn’t long to live.

  I am aware of the situation with your lady, Deep. The voice was gently reproving. Tell me this, would you trade places with Kat? Would you take her pain and the certain death that comes with the wound of the kusax if I allowed her to live?

  In an instant! Deep felt a surge of hope. Please, Goddess, I know now that you’re capable of all things. Please, if I could give my life for Kat’s, how gladly would I do so.

  I feel the sincerity of your words. The voice sounded approving now. And so I will honor them in the spirit in which they are spoken. I will give to you, my errant son, what I have given to few others.

  What do you give? Deep asked after a moment when the voice appeared to have finished speaking. Do you mean you’ll allow me to switch places with Kat? Please, Goddess, please, let it be so.

  Remember my words, the voice whispered, not answering his question. Listen carefully that you may hide them deep in your heart. A war is coming—a conflict that will make the battles you have had with your enemy thus far seem like the battling of children at play with their toys.

  Am I to play a part in it? Deep’s heart sank. Does that mean you won’t allow me to die in Kat’s place?

  Many will have a part to play. Not least of all this one. The image of Kat melted away to be replaced by one of Xairn.

  Him? Deep couldn’t help feeling doubtful. But he’s one of them—a Scourge.

  Has he not conducted himself as a true Kindred would? the Goddess demanded. I tell you, Deep, this male is close to my heart. Much grief and pain has he bourn, yet he remains bowed but not broken.

  He did seem to revere Lauren as a proper male should his female, Deep admitted grudgingly. Still, I don’t see—

  His heart is in conflict, the Goddess continued. Though I have planted light within him, there are seeds of darkness as well. The outcome of the conflict I spoke of will hang upon his will. Her voice grew stern again. I charge you, Warrior, that you give him aid if he asks it of you. That you help him in any way you can. And that you not speak of this until the time is right. Do you understand?

  I understand. Deep wanted to ask how he would know when the time was right but he had a feeling the question was unnecessary. The Goddess would let him know when it was time to reveal what she had showed him. Until then, for however long he had, he would keep the secret in his heart.

  A long, lonesome time, he thought, feeling an ache when he thought of Kat. An eternity without my Kat. Unless I am given the opportunity to speak at once and then I die in her place. Anything was possible, he supposed. He only hoped he wouldn’t have to live without the woman he loved and the brother that was still so dear to him—even if the emotional bonds between the three of them were cut.

  It is time for you to return, the voice murmured in his ear. Remember all that I have told you. Remember that I give to you what few others receive.

  But what…What