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  She looked up at him with uncertainty and fear in her eyes and suddenly he saw how he must look to her. He was huge, hulking—monstrous. His shoulders were fully twice as broad as hers and his skin, which had seemed normal to him until now, was rough and discolored next to her smooth, creamy brown. And his eyes…his eyes were the worst of all. He had studied some Earth mythology and he knew what they must look like to her. A demon—isn’t that the word? She must think I have a demon’s eyes.

  “You’re not a demon,” she said softly and he realized he must have spoken the words aloud. “I don’t think that about you, Xairn.”

  The momentary lapse startled and troubled him. “That’s because you don’t know me,” he said roughly. He stood abruptly. “I must go.”

  “Will…will you come back?” She looked up at him, hope shining in her amber eyes. “Please, you’re the only one I have to talk to. Please don’t leave me alone again with those…those things.”

  “They are Scourge, the same as me,” he said, frowning. “They’re simply grown in the artificial wombs we call vats.”

  “No.” Lauren shook her head. “They’re not the same as you. They’re nothing like you. I can see it in their eyes—they’re empty inside. Soulless.”

  “So am I.”

  “No,” Lauren said again, more softly this time. “You’re not soulless, Xairn. You’re just locked up tight inside. So tight even you don’t know how to find the key.”

  “I have no time for your Earth metaphors,” he said harshly. “I must go.”

  “Go on, then.” She looked at him appealingly. “But please…please come back.”

  “I make no promises,” he said. The disappointment in her eyes made him add, “But I will try.”

  “Thank you,” she said simply. “I’ll look forward to our next conversation. Maybe…maybe you can tell me something about your life.”

  “I could.” Xairn laughed humorlessly. “But I doubt you’d wish to hear it. I have no pretty little stories of when I was young, Lauren. The only tales I could tell you—” He broke off, shaking his head.

  “What?” she urged softly.

  “Nothing.” He turned for the door. “I’ll come back again if I’m able.”

  “I’ll look forward to it.”

  And though he knew she was only acting out of self preservation, he could have sworn that she actually meant it.

  Chapter Twenty

  “Tell me again what we have to do,” Kat said, wishing she felt a little less weak and nervous. She’d spent the night cuddled between Lock and Deep, in a nice, nonsexual way. The contact should have boosted her energy, but somehow she still felt off her game. At least the headache hadn’t come back, though—she didn’t think she could stand to go through what they were about to do with that rusty iron spike in her brain.

  They had spent the day being feasted and stared at by the natives. Then, as evening drew near, all of them had bathed separately in the sacred golden waters of the holy stream in preparation for the night. Kat had been avoiding the thought of the coming ceremony, but she couldn’t help thinking of it now as she arranged the ceremonial outfit she’d been given to wear.

  Her native haute couture appeared to be made mostly of leaves and flowers and was tied on by vines. It made her feel like Jane from the old Tarzan movies and not in a good way. She was nervous because she didn’t have on anything under it. So any strong breeze was likely to equal a wardrobe malfunction of epic proportions.

  Deep and Lock had on leafy loincloth things too, but on them the leaf look was somehow hot. Their broad, sculpted chests and long, muscular legs seemed made to be exposed. They looked like Greek gods that had come to life right down to the strategically placed fig leaves. Of course, pretty soon she was going to be looking under those fig leaves. Don’t kid yourself, Kat—you’re going to be dong more than looking, whispered a little voice in her head. Kat tried to push it away but it wouldn’t go. She couldn’t quite believe what she was about to do, but it seemed to be their only way out, so she had no choice.

  “We’ll be reenacting the courtship of the sun and the moons,” Lock said, interrupting her nervous musings. He patted her shoulder comfortingly. “The chief will be reciting the legend in their common speech so hopefully your convo-pillar will be able to translate. Just do exactly as the chief says and everything will be all right.”

  “Yes, but what exactly is the chief going to say?” Kat asked, vainly trying to rearrange her leaves for maximum coverage. God, this is ridiculous! I feel like I’m wearing a salad—I’d get more coverage from a g-string bikini.

  “We discussed this last night—you know the legend,” Deep growled. “It’s mainly going to be a lot of kissing and tasting but there’s likely to be penetration too. It just depends on these people’s version of the tale.”

  “Will we…” Kat swallowed hard. “Is this going to seal the bond between us?” The prospect wasn’t as frightening as it had been. She and Deep seemed to be on better terms now, though she wished their talk in the cave hadn’t been interrupted. But she still wasn’t sure about the idea of being tied to the brothers for life.

  Deep seemed to sense her hesitation. He frowned. “That shouldn’t be necessary. Though you may have to allow us to penetrate you.”

  Kat swallowed hard. “Both at…at the same time?”

  “No.” Lock shook his head firmly. “We won’t go that far, my lady, I swear it. At most Deep and I will enter you one at a time and then only briefly, for the purpose of the reenactment.”

  “We won’t fuck you or come in you if that makes you feel any better,” Deep said harshly. His blunt words made Kat’s heart skip a beat.

  “Oh my God. Okay. All right.” Kat took a deep breath. “I can handle this. I can.”

  “Of course you can.” Deep’s voice went from harsh to unexpectedly gentle. “You know Lock and I would never hurt you, little Kat.”

  “Yes, I know.” Kat had a sudden thought. “But won’t it hurt you? I mean, to be so…uh, intimate with me if only one of you is involved?”

  “As long as we’re both making contact with you it won’t matter that one of us is touching you more…intimately than the other.” Lock coughed. “If you know what I mean.”

  “I think so.” Kat nodded.

  “So if Lock has to penetrate you, I’ll be holding you,” Deep explained. “The same way we did the night after you ate the bonding fruit. Remember?”

  “How could I forget?” Her uninhibited behavior that night still made Kat’s cheeks hot. But I’m about to get a whole lot more uninhibited now, she told herself unhappily. We’re about to put on a live three-way sex show here for Chief Pervert and his band of merry men. Crap, how am I going to do this?

  “My lady…” Lock took her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. “It’s going to be all right,” he murmured. “We’re going to get through this together.”

  Kat saw the sincerity in his deep brown eyes and felt a little of her anxiety melt along with her heart. Why did Lock have to be so sweet and easy to trust? It made refusing to be with them permanently even harder. “Yes, all right,” she whispered. “I know.”

  “And though it may strengthen the bond we already have—the soul bond, I swear it won’t form a physical bond,” Deep added, also looking at her. “I know that’s what you’re afraid of, but you don’t need to worry.”

  Kat wasn’t sure what to say to that. She could feel the hurt radiating from Deep, the longing she had felt after their first joining, when he’d asked her to stay the night with him and Lock. Part of her wanted to hug him and give him hope—to let him know that she was becoming more open to the idea of bonding with them. But another part—a deeper part—was cautious.

  She well remembered the times in her parents’ marriage when her father and mother would seem to make up. For weeks—once even for months—the constant bickering would stop and there would be peace between them. Kat would always get her hopes up that this would be the time they would lear