Seeing with the Heart Read online

  He trailed off abruptly, leaving an awkward silence between them once more. Molly could feel her cheeks getting hot but she tried to defuse the situation.

  “Thank you,” she said, smiling in his direction. “You’re very kind but I don’t know about the ‘young’ part. I was thirty-six on my last birthday. Although…” She cocked her head to one side. “In a way, I still see myself as looking sixteen because that was the age I was when I lost my sight. Silly, isn’t it?” She laughed lightly. “As for beautiful, of course I don’t know that at all. I haven’t seen myself in the mirror in twenty years.”

  “Take my word for it,” he said in a low voice. “You’re fucking gorgeous—pardon my language.”

  “Well…thank you.” Molly could feel her heart pounding in her chest but she told herself she was being foolish. He was probably just being nice.

  She wished intensely for a moment that she could see his facial expression. Everyone knows the old saying that ninety-nine percent of communication is non-verbal, which put her at a distinct disadvantage at times. Much of it she caught—she was very sensitive to tone and inflection. But she couldn’t read people’s faces or see their body language. It was incredibly frustrating sometimes, even after so many years of blindness.

  “I have to talk to Commander Sylvan about this idea of dismissing females from the Draft for some perceived disability,” Braxx growled, sounding like he was talking to himself. “There may be warriors even now who are unable to claim their brides because of such foolish restrictions.”

  “And you don’t think the Kindred in question, who was going to claim his bride, would be upset when she turned out to be blind or deaf or in a wheelchair?” Molly asked. She wasn’t trying to be incendiary—she was honestly interested to hear his answer.

  “Why would he be?” Braxx demanded, with surprising vehemence. “If she is the one the Goddess means for him to be with, he will love her no matter what.”

  “The Kindred Goddess…the Mother of All Life,” Molly mused. It was a facet of the Kindred culture that most interested her—the fact that a race of people that was ninety-nine percent male worshipped and revered a female deity. “Do you truly believe in her?” she asked Braxx. “I mean, do you have faith personally?”

  He paused for such a long moment she was certain she’d offended him. But then he spoke.

  “I…do believe,” he said at last, heavily. “Although she has turned her face from me, I still believe.”

  Molly wasn’t sure what he meant by that and it seemed too personal to ask. There was something about this big Kindred—something she found incredibly intriguing. She wished she could get a chance to know him better but he was just her driver—just the guy who’d been sent to fetch her. And besides, he was probably only being polite again, answering all her awkward questions.

  You’re not going to learn about the Kindred—you’re meant to be getting ready to study the Tal’ossi, she reminded herself sternly. So save your curiosity for your field work.

  Just then the car decelerated and she felt it stop altogether.

  “We have arrived,” Braxx said to her, sounding more formal again. “Should I bring you into the building first and then return for your luggage?”

  “Where are we in relation to the building?” Molly asked. “I mean, are we close to it? Parked on the side or the back? If it’s close you can just direct me and I’ll use my cane.” She pulled the folding walking cane out of her capacious purse as she spoke and showed it to him.

  “Unfortunately, we are across a very busy street from the HKR building. There was no closer space that I could find.” He sounded apologetic. “Will you allow me to carry you?”

  “Carry me?” Molly nearly burst out laughing. “Wow, thank you—that’s the first time anyone has made that offer. But no, if you just give me your arm and tell me where we’re going I can manage just fine.”

  “It is a very busy road,” he insisted. “I’d feel better if you would allow me to carry you. Unless you feel it would look inappropriate?”

  Molly smiled. “You know, that’s one good thing about being blind—I don’t really worry about what things look like so much any more.” She shrugged. “So if you really want to carry me, you can. If you think your back can take it—I’m not exactly on the skinny side.”

  “You are perfectly curved,” he murmured and his voice was suddenly coming from a different direction.

  With a start, Molly realized he had come around to her side of the car and was crouching or kneeling beside her. Her heart started drumming in her chest again as she fumbled her cane back into her bag—clearly she wouldn’t be needing it, at least for now.

  “You’re…very complimentary,” she said breathlessly as he lifted her out of her seat as effortlessly as though she weighed no more than a doll. Wow, he really was strong. The last time she’d weighed herself, her talking scale had told her some really bad news but as Braxx lifted her and held her protectively to his broad chest, he wasn’t even breathing hard.

  “I speak only the truth,” he returned. There was the chunk of the car door closing—he must have kicked it shut with his foot—and he began walking swiftly down the street with Molly in his arms like a bridegroom carrying his new bride.

  Now what made me think that? she wondered, feeling irritated with herself. She was letting her emotions get the better of her which was completely foolish. The minute Braxx deposited her and her luggage safely inside the HKR building she would probably never see him again. She needed to stop this ridiculous feeling of irrational attraction in its tracks and concentrate on the situation at hand.

  Such as where was Denise? She hoped to hear her assistant’s bright, brassy voice calling her name the minute they got into the HKR building… but no such luck. There was plenty of noise—people talking, feet shuffling, phones ringing—but no Denise.

  “Do you see a tall African American girl with big hair anywhere?”

  she asked Braxx anxiously as he carried her inside the large, echoing space.

  “Big hair?” He sounded like he was frowning. “What do you mean by that?”

  “Denise likes to wear her hair natural,” Molly tried to explain. “It poofs out all around her head kind of like a halo—or maybe the petals of a flower?” She frowned, feeling frustrated. “I’ve never seen it of course but I can feel it. I should have showed you her picture. It’s on my piano at home.”

  “A piano—that’s what that instrument is called. Yes, I saw it—the picture of you laughing and hugging the other female,” he said.

  “Oh good! And do you see her anywhere around here?” Molly turned her head from side to side anxiously, trying to catch the sound of her friend’s voice.

  “I am afraid not. Do you want me to carry you around and look for her some more?” he offered courteously. “The HKR building is large and somewhat crowded today. We might have missed her.”

  “Oh no—that’s all right,” Molly said quickly.

  Though she liked being held in his arms, it was a little awkward—being so close to him made her heart pound double time. Also, she never had put her hair into a bun like she’d intended and she was afraid it might be tickling his face.

  “You can just sit me down in one of the chairs and I’ll try to call her again,” she said.

  “All right.” But he held her for just a minute longer, as though he was reluctant to put her down. Molly was just about to ask if everything was all right when he heaved a deep sigh and placed her gently on what felt, to her seeking fingers, like a couch with a coarse, industrial type covering. It was the kind of furniture you found in airports or bus stations—places where the furnishings had to stand up to lots of wear and tear, she thought.

  “Thank you,” she said, releasing her arm from around his strong neck. God, he smelled good! She was going to be sorry to say good-bye to him, even if the little mini crush she’d developed was completely inappropriate.

  “I’ll go and get your luggage and return in a momen