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  “I’m sorry,” Nina said softly. “I should have realized…I just wanted to ease some of your tension.”

  He barked a laugh. “I’m afraid you failed. I’ve never felt more tense in my life. Well, until you shocked me. That took care of the problem nicely.” He glanced down between his legs as though to confirm he didn’t have an erection.

  “I’m sorry—” she started again.

  “Don’t be,” he said harshly. “I kidnapped you, remember? Then I dragged you through a wormhole to a strange planet where I tried to rape you.” He shook his head. “Gods, what’s wrong with me?”

  “You never…” Nina’s mouth was suddenly dry. “You wouldn’t have. Not really. You just…lost control a little. That’s all.”

  “Stop making excuses for me. You don’t know what I’m capable of.” He sat up and stared her straight in the face. “You want to know how this happened?” he asked, stroking his fingers along the cruel white scars marring his otherwise perfect jaw. “Do you?”

  “I—”

  “I did it myself with a knife,” he said bluntly. “Back when the RTS first got really bad. I was going to do my whole face but my little sister, Minda, came in and caught me. She…” He shook his head for a moment and swallowed hard. “There was blood everywhere…my hands, my face. It scared her. I think for a moment she thought I’d cut my own fucking throat.” He looked away. “And at that moment, I wished I had.”

  “Oh, Reddix…” Nina didn’t know what to say. Her heart ached for him, bled for his pain. She put a hand on his arm tentatively, but he shook it off.

  “She cried for me…begged me to stop,” he went on in a flat, emotionless voice. “She couldn’t understand why I would do such a thing. How could I explain to her that being ugly was better?”

  Realization flashed over Nina. “What you were saying earlier—about feeling someone’s lust or jealousy every time they saw you…”

  “They’re some of the worst emotions to deal with.” He looked down at his hands. “I wasn’t trying to kill myself—just scar myself. But Minda cried so hard and her grief and fear was so hard to deal with…” He shook his head. “I promised her I’d never do it again. That was why I started wearing the hood instead, growing my hair, hiding my face.”

  “I don’t…don’t know what to say,” Nina whispered. Her eyes stung with unshed tears, but she tried not to cry. Reddix had enough emotion to deal with—even if he wouldn’t admit it.

  “Don’t say anything.” He stood up abruptly and turned for the door.

  “Where are you going?” she asked, immediately worried.

  “To the ship. I’m going to activate the emergency beacon.” Reddix gave her a look. “It may take them awhile to detect it, but eventually my Kindred brothers will come. They’ll come and take you back to Earth, Nina. Where you belong.”

  Before she could say another thing he was gone.

  Chapter Twenty

  Reddix stalked around the edges of the Feeling People’s village, carefully avoiding the natives though he more than halfway felt he deserved a blast of debilitating emotion right now. He was angry with himself…sickened by what he had almost done. How could he treat Nina that way? How could he hold her down and try to force himself on her?

  Thank Goddess for the collar. One hand stole up to his neck and he caressed the black wire around his neck with his fingertips. If she hadn’t had it to stop me… But he didn’t want to think of what he might have done, how far he might have gone.

  He sniffed the chilly wind and followed the scent of metal and oil to the abandoned ship. It was completely disabled at the moment, but he might have been able to fix it in time. He wouldn’t now, though. He was simply going to activate the beacon and wait for his fellow Kindred to come collect him and Nina. They could deport him back to Tarsia and take Nina safely back to Earth to be with her kin.

  And what about the swamp witch? What about the price of blood? whispered a little voice in his head. Xandra will exact the payment whether you want her to or not.

  “Too fucking bad,” Reddix growled aloud. He would pay the price himself. And as for his RTS…well, he didn’t know what he would do about that or the fact that he was supposed to somehow father a child on the brainless, shallow Tilla, who his parents had picked to be his female. He would just have to do the best that he could.

  If worst came to worst, he supposed they could go back to the Mother Ship—if the other Kindred would have him—and try artificial insemination. Of course if word of that ever got out, the Touch Kindred would never accept any child of his as leader of the Clans. Their laws were very clear about how a ruling child was to be conceived, and any deviation was not looked kindly upon.

  “Just have to manage,” Reddix muttered to himself as he let himself into the cockpit. He found the emergency beacon at once, and then, before he could talk himself out of it, he pressed his palm to the flat black surface and pushed down hard three times.

  The beacon lit up at once, outlining his hand and then flashing from red to yellow to green. When it stayed a steady, unblinking green for five seconds in a row, Reddix slowly removed his hand.

  It was done. There was no way he could ever make up to Nina what he had put her through, but at least he had insured she could get home safely and go back to her normal life on Earth.

  “You’ll never have her,” he muttered, staring at the blood red lthss curling around the bottom half of his wrist. “I’m setting her free. Your price is too high, witch. Even for freedom from my damn RTS, your price is too high.”

  * * * * *

  Nina paced the small bedroom worriedly, passing back and forth before the tiny fireplace and its gold and blue flames. She was cold, but she didn’t want to get into the bed where she and Reddix had so lately fought.

  What if he runs into one of the Feeling People while he’s out there? What if he runs into one of their kids—their emotions are so loud. I should have gone with him. Should have…

  Stop it, eecho! the voice of Mehoo-Jimmy commanded. Stop worrying about that bear and worry about yourself. What if he didn’t really set off the beacon at all? What if he just said that to trick you? In fact—what if he got in that ship and took off? What if he left you here all alone with no hope of ever getting home?

  No, Nina thought uneasily. No, he wouldn’t do that. No matter what else he is, Reddix is an honorable man. He’s just been hurt so much, been in pain so long that he’s twisted. He can’t help himself…

  She knew she ought to stop making excuses for him, but she couldn’t seem to help it. The idea that he’d cut his own face to make himself less noticeable tore at her heart. His life had been hell for ten years. And even though he’d kidnapped her and torn her away from her entire life, she couldn’t help feeling for him. Any more than she’d been able to help reacting when he kissed her and touched her.

  God, the way he’d touched her… Nina’s body still throbbed with the memory of his big, hot hands cupping her breasts and rolling her nipples…the feel of his mouth on hers and then moving lower, kissing her throat and licking between her breasts. Just thinking about it made her nipples tight as the tender vee between her thighs got swollen and wet…

  No, stop it! she ordered herself. Closing her eyes, she clenched her fists and took a deep breath, trying to calm her frazzled nerves and dispel the enticing memory. But the deep breath didn’t help. All she could smell was the lingering scent of Reddix’s skin—his dark, spicy, somehow completely masculine musk that filled her senses and made her dizzy with wanting him. In fact, the more she inhaled, the more clearly she smelled him and the more she wanted him…

  “What are you doing?”

  The deep voice just beside her startled Nina so much that she gave a little scream and nearly fell over. She was about to land right in the fireplace when Reddix saved her by yanking her up and into his arms.

  “I…I…” She looked up at him, unable to collect her thoughts. She was tight against him, her breasts pressed to the