* * *

    PENNY

    Ricky’s Café in the University Hills district of Los Angeles is a typical college hangout. Cheap food, watered-down beer, a dodgy house band, and a youthful clientele—too youthful, from the number of underage students who have been turned away since Cora and I first sat down.

    “Adam is on his way.” I put down my phone and pick at the tortilla chips on the table. I am at once excited for and dreading our reunion. But after talking to Cora, I decided I need closure, and I need to understand what Adam and I had together so I can make sense of what I have lost with Jack and figure out a way to get him back.

    A group of students walks through the door, laughing about one of their professors. I feel a pang of nostalgia remembering my few short university days and the promise of a future that never came to be. I don’t know if I would have made a good lawyer. Over the years I have worked with Amanda, I have watched her struggle with some moral and ethical issues that I would never have wanted to face—the whole Gerry fiasco being one of them. And certainly I’ve never felt the kind of pride in my work as I did when I helped her rebrand her business. Maybe that’s where my heart lies and I’ve been chasing the wrong dream.

    “Can I throw a beer in his face?” Cora nurses her drink. She’s been stalking a sandy-haired doctor since we arrived, and she bet me twenty dollars she can get him out of his scrubs before we leave the city.

    “I think you’ve been hanging around Redemption too much. You never used to be violent.” I follow her gaze to the bar, where the object of her affection is toying with the stethoscope around his neck. It all seems a little too forced for me. Why couldn’t he change before he left the hospital? Why does he need his stethoscope in the bar?

    “I never had a bestie ask me to go with her to LA to confront her bastard of an ex.” She reaches across the table and gives my hand a squeeze. “I wish you’d told me all about him a long time ago, or at least when I was with Blade Saw. I would have snuck down here with a couple of the Redemption fighters and arranged for him to meet up with them in a dark alley.”

    “Now I know you’ve spent too long at Redemption.”

    She grins. “Maybe one day it will be me going all vigilante on some dude’s sorry ass.”

    “You don’t have to stick around when he comes in,” I say. “I mean, I’m sure there are other things you’d rather be doing…” I glance over at the doctor, who has been joined by a drop-dead-gorgeous friend.

    “Are you kidding me?” She stares at me, aghast. “I came on this road trip for you, babe. You shouldn’t have to face your ex alone, especially after what he did to you. You’re gonna get your closure, and then I’m going to help you forget Jack and start your new life with tequila shots and a couple of hot men.”

    “I don’t want to forget Jack. I want him back. He’s hurting, and I want to save him.”

    “Then that’s what we’ll do. But after you rip your ex to shreds, we’ll have a couple of celebratory drinks, and spend the night getting to know the resident doctor and his friend in a very intimate way.”

    “What about Blade Saw?”

    Her smile fades. “I messed that one up in a pretty bad way. I wish I could turn back the clock and undo that conversation I had with him. He’s just so intense and protective, it kinda scared me away. I’ve never been with anyone like him. He gets my jokes. He likes my geek side. And he’s probably the first truly decent guy I’ve ever met…” Her voice trails off, and she gives me a nudge. “Is that Adam?”

    I look up as Adam walks toward us. Although he’s thinner than he was before and a goatee slightly darker than his sandy hair now covers his weak chin, he hasn’t changed much since I last saw him. Same rounded shoulders and awkward gait, same dark eyes, same lean frame, same charisma that has already drawn the attention of a few women in the bar.

    “Yes, that’s him.” I feel nothing as I watch him. No longing, no regret, none of the thrill I used to feel whenever I saw him. Too small, too weak, too pale. My taste now seems to run to big, muscular fighters with blond hair who know how to crack a whip.

    “Do we get to punch him now or later?” Cora curls her tiny hand into a fist, and I laugh, breaking the tension.

    “Never. We stick with the plan. I’ll introduce you, and then you make yourself scarce while I talk to him. I’ll text you if I need an out.”

    “I’ll apologize now in case I lose control of my fist.” She squeezes my leg as Adam stops at the table and smiles.

    “Penny.” He leans down and kisses my cheeks, British style. “I was so happy you called.”

    I introduce him to Cora, and she glares as she slides out of the seat beside me. “Don’t try that kissing thing with me,” she snaps as he leans forward to do just that. “I know about you, and I’m just waiting for an excuse to give it back.”

    I snort a laugh. Although no longer my type, Adam is a good-looking guy, and he’s not used to women brushing him off. With a puzzled glance for Cora, he slides into the seat across from me and reaches for my hand.

    “I’m not here to start anything, not even a friendship.” I pull my hand away, not wanting to waste any time. “I just wanted to talk.”

    Adam smirks, clearly not believing I could possibly want anything less than what we had before. After all, I almost killed myself over him, which would have done wonders for his already-huge ego.

    “Right, love. You drove all the way down here to talk. So, let’s talk. I can tell you about my field study about broken girls like you, and then we can go back to mine and—”

    “Did you love me at all?”

    His brow creases in a frown, and he shrugs. “Dunno. Maybe at first, although you were fucked in the head with all the cutting shit.” His mouth tightens in a thin line. “Why the fuck does it matter?”