But the difference is that this time I had it. I gave it. And I believe in it. But more than that, I believe in myself.

    “Worthy,” I say into the stillness. “Not worthless.”

    I pull the little green plastic case from my pocket and throw it over the cliff. After I hear the soft thud, I pull Adam’s ring off my neck and throw it and the chain away, too. Adrenaline surges through my body, giving me the same rush I got the night I slit my wrist. I feel release and freedom. I feel no pain. It’s not over, but I’ve taken a step in the right direction. And now I will take another.

    I pull out my phone and call Cora. “It’s Penny,” I say. “Do you fancy a trip to LA?”

    * * *

    RAMPAGE

    2:30 a.m. I text Penny for the tenth time.

    2:35 a.m. I throw a few bills on the table and walk out of the all-night diner.

    2:45 a.m. I drive to Penny’s house.

    3:10 a.m. I arrive and park outside. Her lights are off. Her car is gone. I knock on the door, ring the bell, and peer into the window. Is she inside? Hurt? Bleeding? Will she ever forgive me for being such an ass? For the first time ever, I miss Clarice.

    3:15 a.m. I jog around the back of her house and check out her bedroom window. The curtains are open, and her bed is made. Where the fuck is she? Now that I’ve cooled down, I regret my overreaction. Yes, I wish she had told me, but I understand why she did what she did and how she tried her best to warn me without compromising her ethical responsibilities. My Penny has honor, which is more than I can say for most of the people I know, including me.

    3:25 a.m. I sit on the front steps to await her return.

    3:45 a.m. I mentally prepare to grovel and beg forgiveness. Rehearse a few lines out loud.

    4:00 a.m. I flip through the news on my phone, just in case something has happened.

    4:15 a.m. I check all the doors and windows for a way inside in case she is unconscious.

    4:30 a.m. I call the police to find out how long a person has to be missing before I can file a missing persons report.

    5:00 a.m. I call the local hospitals and ask if a woman matching Penny’s appearance has been brought in.

    5:30 a.m. I drive around the neighborhood looking for Penny’s car. My stomach is twisted in a knot. If she doesn’t show up at work, I don’t know what I will do. But when I find her, I will put her over my knee and spank the shit out of her for making me worry like this…right after I grovel for being an asshole and kiss her senseless.

    6:30 a.m. I arrive at Redemption. The gym is already packed. Torment is in his office. He has read the news article about my extracurricular activities. I brief him on my stupidity vis-à-vis Penny. He suggests I burn off some energy at the gym until eight o’clock when Penny starts work. I tell him to fuck off. He drags me out for a long run.

    8:00 a.m. I call Penny from Torment’s office. No answer.

    8:05 a.m. Ray, a.k.a. the Predator, storms into Torment’s office. Torment throws him out and suggests he try again with manners. Suitably chastised, the Predator knocks on the door. Torment beckons him in. The Predator crosses the room in two strides, pulls me out of the chair, and punches me in the face.

    8:06 a.m. Full-on fight in Torment’s office. Excellent way to relieve stress.

    8:16 a.m. Renegade arrives to help Torment pull us apart. Blade Saw, Homicide Hank, Fuzzy, and Obsidian gather outside to enjoy the show. Torment says we are an embarrassment to the club.

    8:30 a.m. Torment’s phone rings. Amanda is worried. She wants to know if the Predator knows where Penny is. She got a text from Penny saying she wouldn’t be coming to work for a couple of days. Penny is not answering calls.

    8:32 a.m. Breakdown.

    “Are you finished?” Torment glowers at me from behind the safety of his desk as I pause for breath after a full-on rampage around his office.

    “I have to find her.”

    The Predator snorts a laugh from the doorway. “Find her? She’s probably hiding from you, you fucking bastard. After what you pulled at the office, she’s probably gone and she won’t come back. She did what she had to do, and I can tell you it was killing her to keep that secret. And what do you do? You fucking give her grief for doing her job. You drag her through the mud because she chose to follow the rules. You broke her, and the minute we’re out of this office, I’m gonna make sure you pay for every hurt you dished out before I go get her.”

    It takes my brain a few seconds to process what he has just said. “You know where she is?”

    He gives me a smug look. “I can find anyone. And I’m gonna keep her far away from you.”

    There have been rumors floating around Redemption that the Predator was in the CIA. Of course, he has never admitted it, but now I am ready to believe, and if he can find Penny, he won’t be keeping that information from me.

    “Fucking bastard.” I grab the Predator around the neck and shove him against the wall. But the Predator is no lightweight, and he doesn’t fight by the rules. He knees me in the groin and head-butts me when I double over, replacing my emotional misery with excruciating physical pain.

    “You have other problems to deal with,” Torment says as I take a little breather on the floor and wonder if I’ll ever be able to stand up again. “We’ve got a team meeting tomorrow—your team—to do some damage control. Fierce fighters are good. Kinky fighters who whip women, not so much, especially in the South and Midwest. MEFC might even break your contract, and you’ll definitely lose sponsors…”

    “I don’t care.” I stagger to my feet. “I’ll deal with it after I find her.”

    The Predator folds his arms across his chest. “After I find her.”

    There is only one way to solve this dispute. I smack my fist into my palm and glare at the Predator. “Five minutes in the cage. If I win, I’m coming with you.”