I nod, “I get it. When you died, I blocked it all out. I literally couldn’t remember how bad things were. I needed to only remember how much I loved you and how wonderful you were. Then, it all came undone.”

“I think I’ll move out this weekend. I’ve been putting it off, but I can’t keep doing this. I’ll always love you, Natalie.” Aaron lifts his hand and then drops it.

I smile sadly. This is harder than I expected. I know where my heart lies, but having this conversation is immensely sad. The strings that tied us together will be snipped by our own choices. This isn’t death where you feel robbed of your decisions. “You’ll always have a place in my heart. And you’ll always be a part of Aarabelle’s life.”

He leans in and kisses the top of my head. The pain in his eyes breaks me a little more. Aaron doesn’t speak as he exits the room, and when the door shuts, I grab my pillow and cry for the marriage I just lost again.

“I’ve got a few things on the calendar I need to make sure we’re ready for,” Mark says in his command voice.

We had a small issue on the mission in Kuwait. Some of the guys had rounds missing that I know for a fact I ordered. It reminds us all of the problems that led to Aaron’s explosion and Jackson’s shooting. All of us are on edge and double-checking everything. There’ve been two more things that seemed fishy, but we caught them before anything could happen.

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but until we do, everyone is on their ‘A’ game. I want nothing overlooked, and if you have to check it ten times, then do it. I won’t have another life lost on our watch.”

Everyone nods and starts to filter out.

“Lee, can you hold up a minute?” Mark asks.

“What’s up?”

“I want to run a few things by you and make sure we’re all on the same page.”

I tilt my head wondering where he could be going with this. “Okay?”

“We want to bring Aaron back to work. His doctors think he needs to establish some kind of consistency, and I know it could be uncomfortable for you both, but . . .”

“I get it.” I glance away and try to think about Aaron. These are his friends and this was his job. I shouldn’t feel disappointed, but I love it here.

“No, Sparkles . . .” Mark smiles and I roll my eyes. “I’m not asking you to step down.”

“He deserves to be here,” I say and place my hand on his arm. “I can find a job somewhere else.”

“Fucking hell, woman.” He grabs my shoulders and shakes me gently. “Are all of you this damn dense?”

“I know you’re not talking to me like that.” I widen my eyes and he smirks.

Mark has been strange the last few weeks. I haven’t taken too much notice because I’ve been so out of it myself, but he’s been irritable and very unlike him. He even mentioned going to spend time in Washington D.C. for a meeting with some top officials.

He speaks but everything suddenly goes tunnel vision. I feel lightheaded again and I try to grab the table. I’m going down.

“Lee?” I hear Mark call out.

But my hand is weak, and I fall to the ground. Then, everything goes black.

“We’re on our way to the hospital.” I hear Mark talking as I start to wake. “She’s fine, she passed out.”

I open my eyes and I’m being loaded into an ambulance. What the hell? “Mark,” I grumble. I’m so tired.

He puts his phone in his pocket and grabs my hand. “You know if you wanted some attention, you just had to tell me.”

I think I smile but I’m not sure. “What happened?”

“You went down. It wasn’t long, but we want you to get checked out. And since the ambulance happened to be a block away, they got here really quick.”

The EMT pushes Mark back a little then starts to take my vitals. “I need some information.” He asks me all the basic questions and continues to ask about the frequency of the dizzy spells. He checks my sugar levels and asks if I’m diabetic.

Once we arrive at the emergency room, I answer some questions before they start running some blood tests. I’ve been poked and prodded more than I care to know.

“So,” Mark puts his feet on the edge of the bed and reclines back. “We can avoid burning vacation time if we talk work, and I’m all about making Jackson pay, so let’s chat.”

I shake my head and try to rest.

He nudges me with his foot. “I’m not kidding. I’m planning a giant vacation and I need all the time I can get. You’re not dying, so it’s billable hours.”

“I’ll call Jackson now if you want,” I say as the room spins slightly.

The doctor walks in and smiles. “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Gilcher. I wanted to go over the results of all your tests.”

“Oh, he’s not—” I start to say but Mark cuts me off.

“Comfortable in hospitals. My wifey here is concerned I will end up in a bed with her.”

He’s lost his damn mind. I stare at him, waiting for him to correct himself, but he grabs my hand and smiles. “For the love of God.”

“She’s just tired . . . please, Doctor.” He pauses and kisses my hand.

I yank my hand back and slap the top of his. Idiot.

“Well, your blood tests came back and showed your blood sugar is low, but it also showed that you’re pregnant.”

My mouth falls slack and my heart rate accelerates. “No, that’s not possible.”

“Congratulations,” she smiles.

Mark laughs loudly, snapping me out of my trance. “It was all my super sperm. Glitter and Sparkle, baby.”

“Doctor, please can you run it again. It’s not possible for me to be pregnant,” I say urgently.

She looks at the chart and walks over to the side of my bed. My blood pressure is rising and she checks the wires. “I need you to calm down.”

“Lee,” Mark’s voice morphs into concern. “It’s okay.”

“I can’t be pregnant. You don’t understand . . . I can’t get pregnant. I had to go through five rounds of IVF to conceive. I lost four babies because of my PCOS. Please, I’m telling you it’s not possible.” The panic bubbles in my throat, and I start to hyperventilate.

The doctor places her hand on my shoulder. “Focus on breathing, Natalie. I can do a secondary blood test, but your HCG levels are high indicating you are in fact pregnant. I can have the OBGYN on call come in and check you over as well. Just rest, stay nice and calm, and we’ll get everything settled.”

I nod and try to do as she says. My hands settle on my stomach and tears form. I look over at Mark and he looks unsure. “All joking aside, are you okay?”

“No, I mean, if I’m pregnant . . .” I trail off thinking about what it means. Liam and I would be having a baby. Two men . . . two babies . . . one broken heart.

“I’m happy that we’ll have a little Starlight.” Mark tries to go for funny.

I look over unimpressed. “You do know we’re not married and this is not your baby, right?”

Mark smirks, “I think you need to be happy and laugh. You went through hell trying to get pregnant before, and now you are without even trying. I know it’s the worst timing possible, but maybe this is your time. Liam’s my friend too, and all of this shit is going to be ugly, but you all need to do what’s right so everyone can move forward.” He grabs my hand, and the kind and compassionate jokester becomes the strong man. “I know I fuck around a lot, but I’m worried about all of you. You’re passing out, Liam’s overseas, and Aaron is a mess. He wasn’t right before he went to Afghanistan, and Jackson and I failed to handle it.”