“I didn’t hate you.” Carter puts his drink down and watches me. “I hated everyone. Her for not being careful. You for leaving her that day. She called me after you left. She was upset, didn’t know what to do. She said it felt like she was losing you.” He closes his eyes and sighs heavily. “I know you didn’t want to leave the Navy and yet you did it for her. I think she knew that too. Anyway, I told her if you loved her, you’d come back. Did you love her?” Carter’s question pulls my attention.

“Of course I loved her,” I pause. It’s about time we have this conversation. “I gave up everything for her, man. I mean, you know how much I loved the Navy. I would’ve retired from there and even then they would’ve had to throw my ass out. But Maddie couldn’t handle the deployments and the fear of me dying. So I gave it up.”

“She used to cry every night that you were gone.” He looks up and takes a drink.

I know this. I remember her telling me every time I had to leave.

“We met when I was active duty. She knew what a marriage with me was, but she said she could handle it.”

“She couldn’t.”

“I figured that out. I did right by her so your anger is misplaced, brother. I loved her for a long time, but I didn’t kill her. That baby was never planned, and honestly, I wouldn’t have let her keep it knowing it would’ve killed her. I don’t know how she got pregnant. We were very careful. She was very careful. I know you lost your parents and then your sister, and for that, I’m sorry.”

Carter stands and extends his hand. “I’m sorry. I know you lost a wife and a child. That day, I lost a sister, a niece or nephew, and I lost a brother too.”

I’m on my feet in a second and I grip his hand and clap him on the shoulder. “I think we both fucked up.”

“I’m not proud of how I behaved, but I was fucking livid. At everyone, and you were there to take it.”

“You don’t have to explain how you handled your grief, but I need to move forward in my life.”

Carter nods in understanding and we stand there as the weight of the conversation settles.

I feel like I need to lay it all out. I don’t want any misunderstanding in what I’m telling him, and if we can ever move forward, then this will be the deciding factor.

“I’m going to be honest with you. I’ve found someone, and I can promise you, one day she’ll be my wife. She’ll never replace Madelyn, but I love her and would like your blessing.”

“Is she the girl I saw here last time?” he asks.

“Yes,” I reply waiting for him to say something more.

“I think Maddie would want you to be happy, and if she makes you happy then you better marry her before she realizes she can do better.” Carter smiles and claps me on the back. He grabs his drink and swallows it quickly, then turns without another word.

“Don’t worry, Carter. I’ll grab the tab.”

He throws his hand up and keeps walking.

Fucker.

I leave the bar and head to the office.

“All right, which one of you dickfaces parked in my spot?” I ask laughing when I enter. Only Mark knew I was coming, so I catch a few of the guys off balance.

“Oh, you work here?” Mark says walking over. “How’d it go with Carter?”

“I need to make a call to Hudson Pierce and see if he’ll help me out.”

Hudson and I met a few times in New York. If he’s not willing, then maybe one of his contacts will be.

“Then what’s your genius plan?”

“I’m going to get her back.”

“What if she doesn’t want you?” Mark asks, taunting me.

“That won’t happen, but if it does she’s going to find out just how persistent I can be.”

He laughs and walks off. “I forgot how stupid you can be.”

“I forgot what a jackass you are.”

“I never forget that about you.” Mark flips up his middle finger and I walk into my office feeling determined.

My phone bings.

Catherine: I landed.

Two words and I could punch a hole through the wall.

Me: I’m glad you’re safe.

Catherine: I’ve got a lot to do in the next few days. I love you and miss you already.

Me: We’ll talk soon.

I’ve got a lot to handle too, and the more time I waste, the more of a chance I have of losing her for good.

My apartment is beautiful, but it feels empty. I feel empty. Around an hour into the flight, the tears stopped and I fell asleep. I was one of those weird girls who smelled her shirt because it made me feel closer to him. When I got off the plane, Tristan had scheduled a car service to pick me up. I couldn’t help but think if it were Taylor, she would’ve been there. Tomorrow morning, we have a face-to-face meeting scheduled, so it’s not a huge deal.

I walk around and put some things away. Giving myself a moment to absorb my new home, I sit on the couch and take it all in. The furniture is modern and comfortable. Everything screams upscale, from the cherry floors to granite counters. It has exposed wood beams in the vaulted ceilings and the light paint colors make it feel airy. I open up the windows and inhale the salty sea air. The breeze blows and I let the curtains flap as I walk around into the next room.

Entering the master bedroom, my jaw drops. It has two French doors that open onto a deck. I go out there and hold on to the wrought iron railing. The metal is cool even in the warmer temperature. Going back into the room I look at the huge king size bed that sits against the wall. There’s a beautiful fireplace tucked in the corner of the room with light-colored stones that stand out against the deep grains of the wood flooring. As much as I want to love it, it could be a cardboard box for all I care.

I try to make myself feel happy. My choices have consequences and moving here means I had to sacrifice my relationship with Jackson. I knew this, now I need to dust myself off and live. Tomorrow I meet Tristan and we begin getting some staff hired. I need to focus on the task at hand and worry about my lack of a love life later—if that’s even possible.

The sun is just now starting to set since I’m three hours behind New York. So while it feels like eleven p.m., it’s really only eight here. I see a very early night in my future.

I hop in the shower to wash off the plane and airport smells. When I get out, I throw my hair up in a bun and put on one of Jackson’s t-shirts I stole. I feel like I ran a marathon. Even with sleeping on the plane, my entire body is worn out.

Closing my eyes, I sink into the plush sofa, wishing I had someone to hold me close. If I try hard enough I can feel his arms wrap around me, blanketing me with his love and protection. Pulling my shirt up I inhale again, wanting to smell his cologne, but already the smell is fading.

My phone lights up and I smile seeing a text from Jackson on my screen.

Jackson: Did you know a female ferret would die if it goes into heat and doesn’t find a man to satisfy her?

Me: Good thing I’m not a ferret.

Jackson: If you need some satisfaction, I’m right here, baby. I’d be on my plane before you finish talking.

Me: I’m not surprised.

Jackson: You know I’m happy to be of service. I’ve been known to be equated to God by someone a few times.