“It’s time. No goodbyes.”

“This wasn’t supposed to be us. We were supposed to be together. This was our time,” I say angrily.

“Shhh,” Jackson puts his fingers to my lips. He clutches my face and breathes the words into me. “I’ll find you again.”

I close my eyes and hold on to his wrists, “I don’t want to lose you.”

The black chill of silence surrounds us. I have to let him go.

Our lips meet again and I taste the salt of our sadness. Unsure of whose pain blurs between us. His tongue glides against my lips and I open to him. With each swipe of his tongue against mine, I break apart from the inside out.

They call once more for final boarding and he draws back and places a kiss against my forehead.

I look up at his turquoise eyes and choke out, “I don’t want to let you go.”

He’s my everything.

“If you love something, you have to let it go. I love you enough to let you go. Go live your dream, baby.”

We kiss once more and I hold on to his hand until the absolute last second. When the tips of our fingers disconnect, my chest tightens so much it physically hurts.

The last image I see when I glance back is the door closing as Jackson’s head falls into his hands.

Now I know what it feels like to lose your heart.

I’m a fucking idiot.

That’s the only thing that keeps rolling around in my skull. I watch her walk away and do nothing to convince her to stay. It’s like someone just shot me all over again. Pure agony. I want her to be in my arms, not on a damn plane. I could’ve asked her to stay, made her see what her leaving was doing to me, but I told her to go.

I told her to leave me, but I didn’t think she’d go—or maybe I did.

I’m a fucking idiot.

She needed to choose and I can’t blame her. Do I wish she would’ve stayed for me? Of course I do. She belongs with me. Then again, I’ve screwed up so many times I’m losing count. So I’m glad she got on that plane because I now know what I have to do.

I lived through her walking out the door once, but I won’t live through it again.

Fuck that.

It’s time to get her back.

Pulling my phone from my pocket, I call the limo driver to have him swing back and get me.

Then I call Mark.

“What up, dickhead?” he answers laughing.

I don’t even have the energy to insult him. I have more important things to do. “I’m on my way to Virginia. It’s time to get shit done.”

“About fucking time. I was starting to question the legitimacy of your man card. I thought maybe you liked playing dress up with your little makeup company and I needed to be concerned with how often you might have stared a little too long after the showers,” Mark crows in his condescending I-think-I’m-so-awesome-just-ask-me voice.

“You wish. There’d have to be something to stare at. I need to meet with Carter and if that doesn’t go well, I have a guy in New York who I can call.” The wheels are spinning in my head.

“You know Carter is going to be a prick. I would call your guy now and start the ball rolling.”

“I’ll handle it.”

Mark gives a sarcastic laugh. “Just like you handled everything else? Let’s face it, Muff, you’ve been fucking up left and right. So for once, listen to me. Call me when you land.”

“Yup,” I say, already forming a plan.

“It’s about time you dealt with all this bullshit,” Mark says and he hangs up.

Yeah, it is about time.

Two years ago, I went into a dark place. Losing Maddie and the baby was like nothing I’ve ever felt. When we lost the team guys, it was horrible, but she was my world at the time. I was so pissed at her for constantly riding my ass and needing me to give her more. Even though she told me to leave that day, I never should have. I lost her because I was selfish, and I won’t do that to Catherine. When I found out Madelyn died, my guilt was overwhelming.

Once I get in the car, I instruct the driver to go straight to the other airport.

He looks at me like I’m half stupid since we’re at an airport, but I need my plane. I text the pilot and tell him to be ready to leave immediately. I don’t have time to waste anymore.

Catherine reminded me it was okay to love and live, and I’ll be damned if she’s going to live without me, let alone love anyone else. She’s mine and I’m going to show her exactly what that means.

I land in Virginia and have an email from my brother-in-law stating if I want to meet him then I can meet him at the bar today or not at all.

I arrive at the restaurant where Catherine and I had dinner.

Being here reminds me of her.

“Jackson,” I hear Carter approach.

I nod and I stand to shake his hand, keeping my attitude in check. While our last meeting was pleasant, we’ve almost come to blows a few times.

“Carter, thanks for meeting me.”

“So, what does my favorite brother-in-law want?” he asks as he sits.

“I would really like to talk and be civil. Can we manage that?”

No one loved Madelyn like Carter did and no one hated me more than him either. I understood because I’d kill anyone who hurt Reagan, but I lost a lot that day too. The way Carter saw it was that I’d abandoned her to die.

“It’s been almost two years since I’ve heard more than a word here or there. Let’s not even talk about the brush off I got the last time we saw each other. I don’t know what exactly you expect from me. What’s going on?

“I won’t bullshit you, so here it is … I want you to take over Raven.”

He looks at me and leans back in his chair. This was his family’s company and I’d be a total dick if I didn’t at least give him a chance at it. When Maddie died, I asked him to take over, but he’d told me to fuck off and fade away.

“When she died, I couldn’t imagine going to that office. Now, I have no desire to have anything to do with it. I’m doing well here and I don’t want to move Chelsea and the kids.”

I give a quick nod and bite my tongue from telling him how I moved because it was what she wanted, but Maddie wasn’t his wife. My life was altered more than he can imagine. “I understand. I’ll be making some calls today.”

“You’re just going to walk away from it?” he asks with brows raised.

“I’m making some changes in my life.”

“I see. I have a question, since you’re here,” Carter says as he grabs his drink.

“Go ahead.”

“Why did you walk away from the family?”

My eyes widen as I try to decipher the underlying meaning. “I didn’t walk away.”

“Yes, you did. I reached out to you numerous times. You came to Virginia often, I assume, but you never came and said hi. It was like when Maddie died you disappeared.

“I wish things were different,” I pause. “I couldn’t see you and the girls. I lost everything. My life was a mess and you hated me.”

At her funeral, Carter called me every name in the book. He was distraught and had attacked me. I took it because I understood. It was my baby that killed his sister. It was my fault.