Hetty Feather Read online

  Your very affectionate friend,

  Polly

  I reread her letter many times, but then one Sunday, in a fit of despair, I tore it into tiny shreds. I felt Polly might have tried just a little harder to persuade her new parents to visit the hospital. Could they not take pity on me? It was so dreadful having to live my life without Polly when she had been my dearest friend and constant companion for years.

  'You must try to make a new friend, Hetty,' Ida said, patting my shoulder sympathetically as she served our dinner.

  She was trying to be kind, but her advice was useless. How could I make a new friend? All the girls in my year were comfortably settled in their friendships. I could trail round after this group or that group but no one really wanted me.

  Now that I was on my own, Sheila and Monica were especially tormenting. They mocked and mimicked me a dozen times a day. I affected a lofty indifference to their silliness – but I often cried bitterly into my pillow at night.

  It did not help that I was at such an in-between age. I was not yet one of the big girls, with their new chests and their secrets and their infectious giggles. I was not old enough to be a maid to any of the mistresses or nurses, or given any extra responsibilities about the hospital. My life was a dreary routine of the schoolroom and repetitive domestic chores, day after day after day.

  I did take my turn caring for the newly arrived foundlings, washing the hands and faces of all the little five-year-olds bawling for their mothers. You would think I would try to be a little mother to them, maybe making one my special baby the way Harriet had long ago cared for me. But I was in such low spirits I couldn't really feel a fig for any of these puny little girls. I washed them and carted them to the privy and lined them up two by two to walk to the infants playground without even bothering to learn their names . . . until one day a brand- new foundling girl arrived. She wasn't particularly distinguishable from any of the other girls: brown eyes, shorn head, scrawny body, with a lamentable habit of bursting into floods of tears whenever she thought of home.

  'Do stop crying so, Alicia,' I said, wiping her running nose.

  'I cannot help it. And I'm Eliza, not Alicia,' she said.

  I didn't react at all. My brain was sleeping. Her name meant nothing to me. But she was much more alert.

  'Haven't you got those infants ready for bed yet, Hetty Feather?' Matron Pigface Peters snapped as she bustled past.

  Eliza blinked. She rubbed her eyes and then stared at me, suddenly smiling, though her face was still damp with tears and snot. 'It is you, Hetty! I have found you!'

  I stared at her blankly.

  'You are my sister!' she declared.

  The hospital suddenly vanished. I was back in the cottage with Jem, and Mother was there in the corner, nursing a baby in her arms – baby Eliza!

  I clasped her fiercely, and she smiled and squirmed within my embrace.

  'Oh, Eliza, it's so wonderful to find you!'

  'Jem said I had brothers and sisters already here, but I was to look most particularly for you, Hetty,' said Eliza.

  'Yes, yes, dearest Jem! We have a sister Martha – you will be so proud of her when you hear her sing in chapel, but she does not quite remember home the way we do. And we have one lovely brother here, Gideon, but sadly we will not see him often as the boys are so separate from us.'

  'And Saul?' Eliza said. 'Jem taught me: Martha who has poorly eyes, Saul who has a poorly leg, Gideon who cannot talk – and Hetty who isn't one bit poorly and talks all the time!'

  'Oh, Jem is so wonderful,' I declared fervently. 'Eliza, you must tell me every single thing you can about home, especially everything about Jem.'

  'Jem is wonderful,' said Eliza. 'He knows everything.'

  'Yes, he does – but he doesn't yet know about Saul. I'm afraid he died several years ago, Eliza. He caught the influenza.'

  'Will I catch it?' Eliza asked, looking alarmed.

  'Oh no, no, you seem a very strong, healthy little girl – and it's summer now, anyway.'

  'Hetty Feather, get that child into bed this instant!' Matron Pigface bellowed.

  Eliza whimpered at her harsh tone.

  'Don't let her bother you – she's silly old meanie matron,' I whispered into Eliza's ear as I hurried her into bed. 'Don't cry! I'll come and find you later. I shall creep back after lights out.'

  I tucked her up carefully and gave her a quick kiss on her sad little wisps of hair. The other infant foundlings stared, and Matron Peters tutted and tossed her head. I went back to my own dormitory feeling light-headed with sudden joy. I whirled round and round, dancing a little jig, flinging out my arms and stamping my boots.

  'Look at Hetty Feather, she's gone totally loopy,' said Sheila, tapping her forehead significantly.

  'She's always been loopy,' said Monica. 'My Lord, Hetty, I hope you don't fancy you're dancing.'

  She started up a stupid imitation. Another time I'd have slapped her, but now I couldn't be bothered. I undressed quickly and got into bed, pulling the covers over my head.

  I lay in the dark, thinking of my newly-found sister. I remembered how scared and lonely I had been when I came to the hospital at her age – and how baffled to find that Martha scarcely remembered me. I would be such a different sister to little Eliza. I would watch out for her every day, and woe betide anyone who taunted her or stole her Sunday sweets. I would help her with her reading and writing until she was the star of the infants class. I could even help her with her darning because endless practice over the last five years had made me an accomplished needlewoman.

  I would tell Ida that Eliza was my sister. I was sure Ida would give her little treats of butter and sugar too. I would make up stories to entertain her – not lurid adaptations from the Police Gazette! No, I'd tell beautiful stories of princes and palaces, tales where good fairies waved their magic wands and little foundling girls wore white silk gowns and silver slippers, and went to the ball, and lived happily ever after.

  I would tell Eliza such a story tonight, I decided. I would be her good fairy sister, waving my wand to make her warm and happy. Perhaps Eliza and I could even run away back home together? Jem had clearly remained constant. He had told Eliza to look out particularly for me. He was still my own dear Jem and I loved him with all my heart.

  I had so many questions for Eliza. How tall was Jem now? How broad were his shoulders? Had his voice broken? Did he still whistle while doing his chores? Did he speak of me often? Had he told Eliza of our plans? I rather wanted him to have kept them secret, but I decided I would not mind too much if he had confided in Eliza. She was such a sweet child she could come and live with us eventually. I would be like a second mother to her.

  I waited in a happy fever until all the girls in my dormitory were asleep and then crept out of bed and tiptoed along to the door. It was so black and eerie out in the corridor that I almost lost heart and scampered back to bed, but I felt ashamed of myself. Great girls of nearly eleven should not be scared of the dark.

  I forced myself to picture little Eliza sobbing piteously in her infant cot, waiting in vain for me. I could not let her down. I took a deep breath, clenched my fists and stumbled on in the darkness until I reached the infant dormitory at last. I held my breath as I passed Matron Pigface Peters's room, but I could hear her ugly snorting snores through the door. I pictured her flat on her back, snout quivering, big mouth pursed, and had to clamp my hand over my mouth to stop myself laughing.

  I crept past her door, down into the infants dormitory. It was still so dark I could scarcely make out the little iron beds, let alone their occupants, but I knew the newest foundlings slept nearest the door. I listened – and heard muffled sobbing.

  'Eliza?' I whispered.

  'Oh, Hetty, you've come at last! I'm over here!'

  I felt my way towards her and then hugged her tight. 'There now! I told you I would come. Budge over and make room for me. I am freezing to death!'

  I clambered in beside her. She was very cold her