Hetty Feather Read online

  We stood staring at each other, equally taken back.

  'What are you doing in the boys' wing, little girl?'

  'I – I got lost,' I said honestly, then sighed in irritation. Why, oh, why could he not be Gideon?

  'You will get whipped if they find you,' he said.

  'I know. I don't care. I'll go in a minute, but please could you tell me first, do you know my brother Gideon? Is he all right?'

  'Gideon?' said the little boy, sneering. 'You mean the idiot boy?'

  'He is not an idiot!' I shouted fiercely. 'I shall hit you if you say he is!'

  His hands went to his mouth, smearing ink all over his face.

  'Now you're all black and it serves you right,' I said.

  I ran out of the washroom, right along the corridor until I saw a whole troop of boys bustling out of a big room. I peered hard at this army of brown, but I couldn't spot Gideon at all. However, all the boys could see me. They let up a whoop and a shout.

  'Girl! Girl! Girl!'

  A nurse came running, shouting at me furiously. I knew I had to make a quick escape. I flew back back back along the corridors, back to the safety of the girls' wing, where I slowed down and walked sedately, trying to look innocent. I joined my class at their darning.

  'Where have you been, Hetty Feather?' asked Nurse Winterson. 'Oh dear, your poor chin! What happened to you?'

  All the girls looked up expectantly, Sheila clearly anxious. I wanted to get her into trouble with Nurse Winterson. But I still did not want it made plain to all that she had got the better of me. I held my tongue a second time.

  'I tripped and Matron took me off to put this purple stinging stuff on my chin,' I said.

  'It is gentian violet, Hetty. I dare say it hurt a great deal. You have been very brave, dear.'

  I thought the girls might groan to see me singled out so favourably, but they nodded at me, almost in a friendly fashion. I did not know then that I had avoided the worst sin of all at the Foundling Hospital. No matter how a child is teased or tortured, they must never ever ever tell a nurse or matron. If they do, the others will torment them until their last day at the hospital.

  I had unwittingly kept to this rule and won everyone's respect. I sat and stitched demurely, while Nurse Winterson read us a story. I loved stories, and this was a splendid fairy tale – but for once I could not concentrate.

  My mind was whirling. I knew how to reach the boys' wing, but I would be spotted immediately if I went back there, unless . . . Unless I could find some way of disguising myself.

  I did not see how this was possible, until later in the day, when Harriet sought me out.

  'Poor Hetty! Look at your sore chin. Oh dear, oh dear,' she said, making a great fuss of me.

  I rather enjoyed this, and even managed to squeeze out a few tears so she could pet me. She took me to the big girls' room and sat me close by her side while she started sewing. She took a pair of boys' trousers from the big basket and started patching a knee. I stared at the trousers on her lap – and smiled. I knew how to obtain the perfect disguise!

  I waited until Harriet had to go to a cupboard for more thread, peered round quickly, then seized another pair of trousers from the brimming basket. I could not be seen carrying them so I thrust them up my skirts, wedging them in a bunch as best I could.

  I positively waddled on my way back to my dormitory, but I managed to deposit the trousers safely in my mattress.

  The next day I purloined a jacket – and I was ready! I decided my best chance of reaching the boys' wing undetected was during the playtime after dinner. There were fewer nurses on duty, many of them dining themselves. I stood in the playground awaiting my opportunity. The other girls took no notice of me. Sheila seemed disconcerted that I had not told tales on her, and left me alone.

  I hesitated, standing near the girls' entrance, suddenly in a funk, frightened of being caught and whipped. I made myself think hard of Gideon. I pictured him so clearly that he seemed to be standing before me, white and trembling, tears running down his face, his mouth opening and shutting soundlessly. It was such a sad image, it galvanized me into action.

  I gave one last glance to check I was unobserved, and then I ran into the entrance and up the stairs, all the way to the dormitory. I tore off my cap and tippet and apron. I struggled out of my scratchy brown dress. Then I pulled my stolen jacket and trousers out of my mattress and put them on. The trousers were too large and much too long, but I rolled each leg up at the hem until they rested on my boots. The jacket was too big too, but it was easy enough to shrug it up on my shoulders. My shorn hair suited my purpose well. I had no mirror, but looking down I could see I appeared a convincing boy, though I was on the short side. I clenched my fists and tapped myself on the chest.

  'Courage, Hetty,' I whispered.

  I hastened out of the dormitory, hating the heaviness of the jacket on my shoulders, the chafing of the trousers on my skinny legs. I sped along the corridor, but then heard the squeak of a nurse's boots marching along the polished floor.

  If she caught me in boys' apparel, all would be lost. I darted into the girls' washrooms and hid behind the door, trembling. Squeak squeak squeak came the boots, louder now. They paused at the door of the washrooms. A head poked in and peered, but I was crammed right back into the corner and she didn't see me. She went marching on her way, while I breathed out at last. Once she was out of earshot I peeped anxiously out of the doorway, and then resumed my journey.

  I turned to the right until I found the boys' washrooms, and then I carried on down the corridor until I reached the stairs. I ran down them, but there at the bottom, right by the door, stood a nurse watching the boys playing outside. I stopped still, pressing back into the shadows. I could not bear to be thwarted now, when I was so nearly there. I waited, willing her to move, and eventually she yawned and stretched and sauntered off.

  I hurtled out into the playground, blinking at the sight of so many small boys in brown. They were so lively too. We girls wandered aimlessly up and down, or talked in tiny groups, or played decorous clapping games. These boys were all running and capering and kicking stones and shouting – all but one. A spindly boy with a stark haircut stood all by himself, his head bowed, his hands weirdly splayed as if he were searching for something that wasn't there.

  'Gideon!' I called.

  He looked up and I ran over to him. He cowered away as if I was going to hit him.

  'It's me, Gideon! It's Hetty, your own sister!' I cried.

  He peered at my shorn hair and breeches, looking doubtful.

  'It's really me. Oh, Gideon, I've missed you so!'

  I embraced him, my arms tight around his neck. I felt him crumple, his head on my shoulders, and then he started sobbing.

  'Oh, Gid, it's so hateful hateful hateful, isn't it? If only we could be together it wouldn't be too bad.'

  He straightened up and looked at me imploringly.

  'I can't stay, Gideon. The nurses would see I'm not a real boy – especially when I went to the privy!' I giggled – and Gideon smiled through his tears. 'How has it been for you, Gid? Have they been horrid to you, the other boys?'

  Gideon hung his head.

  'What about Saul? He's here, isn't he? Does he look out for you, stand up for you?'

  Gideon hunched up further. Saul was clearly not a protector.

  'Well, you must fight back. If you cry, it will only make them worse. The other girls are hateful to me, but I punch them and pull their hair and stamp on their feet until they scream,' I said, exaggerating fiercely. 'You must do the same.'

  Gideon stared at me. We both knew this was a ridiculous suggestion.

  'Try, Gideon. And you must say things. They will think you are stupid if you won't talk. They will call you bad names like Idiot Boy.'

  Gideon flinched.

  'But you're not an idiot, you're clever, just like me. You can talk perfectly, you just won't. Please say something to me now, Gid.'

  Gideon shook his he