Wolfsbane Page 86


A growl rolled through my belly at that thought. I wouldn’t be caged by anyone. I’d served the Keepers unquestioningly, and look where it had led me. If the Searchers offered a way to fight my former masters, I would. They’d killed my mother and tortured the people I loved. I wanted them to pay. But I had to fight them on my own terms. I was making decisions for my whole pack now. I needed to be sure, and I wasn’t sure of anything.

I was halfway across the globe, my former life ripped to shreds. What had seemed like the strong bonds of my new pack had disintegrated because of my choices. Fey, Dax, and Cosette—they’d all sought refuge with the Keepers, clung to that life despite all the pain it had brought us. I was certain that if Connor hadn’t arrived, my fight with Dax would have been to the death. And my brother had become a shadow of himself, so much so that even he had been willing to betray me to recover what had been taken from him.

But Ansel wasn’t the only one whose life had been twisted beyond recognition. Ren’s future had been snatched away the night I’d run from our union. His pack was gone, his legacy handed back to Emile, who was more monster than man and wasn’t even Ren’s father. I stumbled, tripping over the truth that caught me unaware. Ren’s future had been stolen long ago, when Emile and the Keepers killed his mother. My would-be mate’s life had been built upon a foundation of lies, blood, and bones.

I clasped my hands, covering my eyes. Lies, blood, and bones. Had our lives been made of anything more? As my fingers pressed against my face, the cold metal of my ring snapped at my skin like a static shock. The ring Ren had given me. A promise of things to come.

I want you to know that I—

What? What had Ren wanted to say to me? What had stopped him? How much would he have shared with me?

The hall suddenly felt too narrow, like it was closing in on me. I had to get outside. I need to breathe open air. I ran faster, searching for any way out of the corridor. When I came to the next set of glass doors, I burst through them.

The salty richness of the ocean air poured over me. Bent over, resting my hands on my knees, I gulped it down like water. The vivid hues of the sunset had given way to the muted shades of twilight, lavender, and gray. Even in the shadows the braided, white gold band circling my finger glinted, catching any light and throwing it back at me. Mocking, hateful.

It reminds me of your hair.

Even now the rope of white blond hair hung over my shoulder, swinging as I stood up. The courtyard was massive, and what had been a near barren garden just yesterday now quivered with lush greens and filled the air with the crisp, mineral scent of fresh herbs.

I ran toward the nearest greenhouse, searching. Anything would do, as long as it was sharp. My breath was coming hard, ragged. I jerked the door open, stumbling past seedlings and potted plants. The scent of compost swirlingthrough the humid air was sweet but a little sickening. I found what I wanted at the far end of the greenhouse, resting on the edge of a potting stand.

I grabbed the pruning shears with one hand and my thick braid in the other, just above where my neck met my shoulders. I didn’t stop cutting until the twisted length came off in my hand. I stared at it, tossing it away like a live snake. My breath had slowed, and my head felt light, free. I set the pruning shears down and left the greenhouse.

It was raining when I stepped back into the courtyard, the softest of rainfalls. Bits of moisture touched my skin like the memory of raindrops, nothing close to a steady downpour, lighter even than mist. Warm night air slipped along my skin. I headed for the very center of the garden. The path led me to a wall of carefully trimmed hedges behind which I found a central square. Steps descended into a layer of flower beds lined by blossoming fruit trees. It was perfectly still, secluded from the rest of the world. At the heart of the square was a stone fountain of four carved figures. It was a strange group: a woman in armor like a knight, a man in a monk’s robes, a child with scrolls in his hands, and a woman in a simple dress grasping a hewn tree branch. Water swirled in a pool at their feet, reflecting the silver hues of the clouds above.

I walked along the edge of the pool, trailing my fingers along the surface of the water. The sunken garden should have offered tranquility, but I couldn’t sense anything beyond the storm in my mind. I raked my fingers through my shorn locks, startled when my hands came free just above my shoulders.

“Good hiding spot.”

I whirled to find Shay coming up the garden path to where I stood near the central fountain. My jaw tightened. I became still as the four statues as I watched him approach.

“Quiet, secluded.” His eyes flicked around the flower beds blanketed with shadows cast by tall hedges. “Creepy enough to keep most people away at night, but not too scary.”

The corner of his mouth crinkled in a smile. “I give it an A minus, but only because the moon isn’t out tonight.”

He came a step closer.

“Thanks a lot.” I kept a hard, warning edge in my voice. “How did you find me?”

He ran a hand through his hair, glancing at me sheepishly. “I followed your scent.”

“Of course.” I turned my back on him, moving away from the fountain, deeper in the shadows of the garden. “Go away.”

“No.” He darted in front me, blocking my path.

“I’m serious, Shay.”

“So am I,” he said. “I don’t think you should be alone right now.”

“That’s really not up to you.”

He reached out, pushing back the pale strands of hair that curled along my chin.

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