She squeezes her arms around me. We’re both shaking.

“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, Parker.”

“I never want to leave your side. Not in life, not after, not even in my dreams. I want you next to me. How do I let that go?”

Aundrea loosens her grip and comes to face me, dropping to her knees.

“Parker, I can’t change the past and I can’t control the future. I can control the present, but I can’t do it without you. I may be your end, but you are my beginning. Every part of you and our child. I’ll do whatever it takes to show you that our life is far from over. We’re just getting started, you me—and, soon, our baby. We’re far from being done. I’m far from gone.”

I take her hand and gently tug her closer. I can see her confidence—that she truly believes her words—and it makes it easier to be comforted. My head is spinning like a carnival ride I can’t get off.

Aundrea takes a deep breath and I prepare myself for her next words. “I’m going to die, Parker. We’re all going to. I am going to leave my loved ones behind, as will you some day. It may not be cancer or my heart, but something will take me away from you one day. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can move forward. I’ve recently had to accept this myself. Amy told me that getting over a fear doesn’t happen overnight, but accepting that fear will let you begin to overcome it.”

“Have you gotten over yours?”

“I’m trying, Parker. Lord knows I’m trying. As much as leaving you or our child behind scares me, I’m doing my best to face it. I’m not sure the fear will ever go away completely. But let me try to help you. Like you said, we’re in it together. This is no different. We’ll confront our fears together.”

I cup her face, brushing her hair behind her ear. “I love the sound of your voice.” My lips meet hers. “Your curves.” I squeeze her hips, pulling her onto my lap. “The freckles on your nose.” I graze her cheek. “And the scars on your innocent skin.” I leave a trail of kisses down her neck. “God, and your smell.” I sigh into the crook of her neck.

“Remember when you told me that we can take on the world together?”

“Yes,” I choke out.

“Well, I believe you. I need you to believe it too. I need you to open your eyes and see what’s in front of you.” She leans back, holding my gaze. “Amy told me once that we need to stay strong. We need to look forward, no matter what, not back. Look forward with me.”

“I’m looking.” I keep looking into her big hazel eyes that are pleading with me.

“I’m here, by your side, and I’m not going anywhere. This is reality, Parker. Not your nightmare. It’s you, me and our baby. I need you to let it go. Let it go and see the light that’s here.”

I don’t cry often. I tend to bottle up my emotions, tuck them away where they never see daylight. But Aundrea’s brought out a side of me I never knew existed. She’s made me a better man—a man capable of conquering any obstacle. I’ve never loved like this. She and I … we were made to love one another.

“You were sent for me. With everything I am, I know there is no love stronger than ours. You need to let go. Let go and fight for us,” she whispers, bringing her lips against mine.

“I am!” I practically yell. I immediately lower my voice, pleading for her to understand. “Aundrea, I fight for you every day. And in that dream … I fight for that one breath of air. One damn breath. If I could only reach you in time to give it to you.” I stop. I can’t finish. All I can see is her cold hand in mine, and all I can hear is the cracking of her ribs as I crush the chest of the woman I love giving her CPR.

My heart pounds. I close my eyes and swallow. Try to force myself not to cry, but my eyes start to burn anyway. Not able to fight it any longer, tears begin to fall and Aundrea wipes them away. “Aundrea, I fight for you every day. To have a life with you. A future. I want to give you everything I can.”

I’m terrified.

Terrified I can’t make all her dreams come true.

Terrified I’ll let her down.

Terrified I’ll lose her.

“And you are. Now I need you to fight that fear. Face it. With me.”

“Is that what you did?”

“What do you mean?”

“By marrying me? By deciding to have a baby?”

She shakes her head. “No, I should have never said those awful things to you at the hospital. Marrying you and having a baby isn’t what scares me. It’s the possibility that the cancer will come back, or my heart will stop. I feel every blood draw I give or body scan I do is a constant reminder of what could be lost. That one day I could be taken away from you or our child, forcing you two to go on without me. That I won’t get to see our little one grow up, or that I won’t get to grow old with you. That’s my fear. But I’m learning to face it. I needed to explore it and accept it because if I didn’t it would control my life. I’m done with outside forces controlling my life, so I’m facing it. I’m looking my fear in the eye. Together, we’ll conquer it all. You’ve never talked me into doing anything. Everything I do is because I want it. I want to be your wife and grow old with you. I want to have a lot of babies with you, Parker Cade Jackson.”

“And how do you propose I face my fear?”

“Accept it. Fear will always be around us, Parker. It’s what we do with that fear that matters. You need to stop running. Show it that it can no longer control you. Once it’s confronted, it will lose its hold on you.”