What Alice Forgot Page 111
“They’ve gone,” said Madison. “We’ve missed them. Typical.”
Nick looked at his watch.
Come on, whale, thought Alice. Give us a break.
The water erupted as a massive creature shot straight into the air. It was like something prehistoric had crashed through an invisible barrier into ordinary life. Alice caught a glimpse of a barnacle-encrusted white front. It seemed to hover in the air before slamming back into the water, with a flurry of icy, salty raindrops against their faces.
Madison grabbed hold of Alice’s arm. Her face was radiant with joy, speckled with droplets of water. “Look, Mum! Look!”
The whale rolled luxuriously about, revealing huge curves of velvety black skin, its tail slapping the water, as if enjoying a hot bath.
“Madison, Alice, over there—it’s the baby!” shouted Nick, and he sounded like a sixteen-year-old boy.
The calf was splashing about in miniature imitation of its mother. Alice could almost imagine it gurgling with laughter.
“Ha!” said Nick idiotically. “Ha!”
All around them were faces full of joy and wonder. The sea air was cool on their faces, the sun warm on their backs.
“Do it again!” said Madison. “Jump up again, mother whale!”
“Yeah!” agreed the man with the camera. “One more time.”
And right on cue, she did.
Elisabeth’s Homework for Jeremy Ben is threatening to ring you up. He thinks I’m behaving like a crazy person.
Frannie’s Letter to Phil Something quite extraordinary has happened, Phil.
As they walked back to the picnic rug, Madison danced around them. She was euphoric. Skipping. Jumping. Swinging on Nick’s hand, then Alice’s, then both. People walking by smiled at her.
“That was the best thing I’ve ever seen!” she kept saying. “I’m going to blow that photo up into a poster and put it over my bed!”
The man with the camera had taken Nick’s e-mail address and was going to send him the photo he’d taken.
“Let’s hope he didn’t miss it,” said Nick.
“No, he got it,” said Madison. “He definitely got it. Can I go paddle? Just to feel the water?”
She looked at Alice, and Alice looked at Nick. He shrugged.
“Sure,” said Alice. “Why not?”
They watched her run down toward the water.
“Do you think she needs counseling?” said Alice.
“She’s been through a lot,” said Nick. “Gina’s accident. You and me. And she always feels things so deeply.”
“What do you mean, Gina’s accident?” Alice thought about Madison’s nightmare. Get it off her.
“Madison was with you,” said Nick. “She saw it happen. You don’t remember it, do you?”
“No,” said Alice. “Just the feeling of it.” Although that feeling of sick horror seemed impossible here today, with the sun and sea, ice creams and whales.
“There was a storm,” said Nick. “A tree fell on Gina’s car. You and Madison were driving behind.”
A tree. So that horrible image of a black leafless tree swaying against a stormy sky was real.
“It must have been horrendous for both of you,” said Nick quietly. He lifted a handful of sand and let the grains fall through his fingers. “And I didn’t—I wasn’t—”
“What?”
“I wasn’t as supportive as I should have been,” said Nick.
“Why weren’t you?” asked Alice curiously.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” said Nick. “I just felt detached. I felt like you wouldn’t want my sympathy. I felt like—I felt that if you’d had the choice, you would have preferred that I’d died rather than Gina. I remember I tried to hug you and you pushed me away as if I made you sick. I should have tried harder. I’m sorry.”
“But why would you think I’d prefer you to die?” asked Alice. It seemed such a silly, childish, wrong thing to think.
“We weren’t getting on that well at the time. And you two were such good friends,” said Nick. “I mean—that was great—that was fine—but . . .” His lips did something funny. “You told Gina that you were pregnant with Olivia before you told me.”
“Really?” Why would she have done that? “I’m sorry.”
“Oh, well, it was only a small thing.” He stopped. “Also, once I overheard you saying something about our sex life. Or lack thereof. I mean, I know women always talk about sex together. It was just the tone in your voice. It was such contempt for me. And then, when she and Mike broke up, and you were going out to bars with her, trying to help her pick up men, I got the feeling that you were jealous. You wanted to be a single woman with her. I was in the way. Cramping your style.”
“I’m so sorry,” said Alice. She felt like some other woman had been horrible to Nick. As if he were describing an awful ex-girlfriend who had broken his heart.
“And then Gina died. And that was it. You froze up. That’s how it felt. You were like ice.”
“I don’t understand why I did that,” said Alice. If Sophie had died, she would have cried for hours in the safe, comforting circle of Nick’s arms.
“Is that why you didn’t come to the funeral?” she asked.
Nick shrugged.
“I had to be in New York. It was a huge meeting. Something we’d been planning for months, but I told you a million bloody times I was happy to cancel. I kept asking if you wanted me at the funeral, and you said, ‘Do what you want.’ So, I thought, maybe you’d actually prefer it if I wasn’t there. I wanted to go. She was my friend, too, once upon a time. You always seem to forget that. She drove me crazy the way she bossed you around, but I still cared about her. It just got so confusing after she and Mike split up. I wanted to stay friends with him, too, and you saw that as a betrayal of Gina. So did she. She was so mad with me. Each time I saw Gina, she’d say, ‘Seen Mike lately?’ and you’d both be shooting me evil looks as if I was the villain. I didn’t see why I had to dump a good mate just because of one drunken—anyway, we’ve been over it a million times. I’m just trying to say that I felt so, I don’t know, awkward, when she died. I didn’t know how I was meant to act. I just wanted you to say, ‘Of course you should cancel the trip. Of course you should come to the funeral.’ I felt like I needed your permission.”