Touching Ice Page 14
“Ice―”
He cut her off. “It could happen and I’m not willing to take those chances. They have ordered your death and I can’t see a way of saving you long term. I refuse to lose another child to the damn council and their orders. They won’t care if you’re pregnant when they kill you because my DNA is considered overused so there’s no value in any child I might produce.” His voice turned so harsh, he snarled his words. “They informed me that because of how successful the forced breeding was, I am no longer mandated to produce a child of my own. I have lost too much of my soul already and I am getting too attached to you. I just can’t take the pain I could possibly face and will have to endure because I’ve run the odds in my mind. That’s the truth, Megan. It’s better to lose you now than suffer a greater loss of both of you.”
Something inside Megan broke for him, pretty sure it was her heart. All doubts about his ability to feel were gone. She walked to him and ignored how his body stiffened at her approach. She reached out and took his injured hand, still fisted at his side, her fingers curling around it.
“You can’t get me pregnant. I come from a messed up childhood so I didn’t want to ever have kids. I got implanted with birth control before I ever started having sex.
Unless it’s removed there’s no risk involved.”
Megan hoped that would comfort him but instead he shook his head. “I can’t do this even though that’s half the problem solved. I attacked another cyborg today, protecting you. He is going to have to report me to the council for my actions and it made me realize how attached I have gotten to you.” The hand she gripped moved and his fingers curled with hers, holding onto her. “I’m finally free to be my own man for the first time in my life. First they controlled me when we were under Earth Government’s command and then the council forced me to give more of myself than I wanted to. You threaten all of that.”
“How?”
Their gazes locked together. His thumb rubbed the side of her pinky. “I finally have control of my life, my body, and you’re asking something of me that I’m not willing to risk.”
He was a control freak. She’d realized that right off the bat with Ice. It wasn’t just a preference of his, it had become his way of protecting himself against more pain. She could understand that after having everyone in her own life let her down. It had really messed her up when her parents had abandoned her one at a time. Ice didn’t want to allow himself to feel too much and then lose her. Again, something she could understand.
She released his hand and took a few steps back, never looking away from him.
“You preferred the bots because you couldn’t get attached to them.”
He sighed. “Yes.”
“And you don’t want to get more emotionally involved with me.” It stung but she knew he did it to guard his heart.
“Yes. I don’t want you to die either.”
He was torn. Megan was falling in love with the cyborg even more for having emotions she could relate to and understand. He happened to be more perfect for her than she’d ever guessed or hoped because he had flaws and emotional damage just the way she did. She no longer had any doubt about that whatsoever as she studied his beautiful silvery-blue eyes and the haunted look in them that he tried to hide from her.
“You won’t get attached to a bot and I don’t want to die.” She backed up more, straightened her shoulders, and masked her features. “I’ll be your bot. How may I serve you?”
Ice’s features showed his shock as it sunk in what she said and what it meant. His mouth parted and then he frowned. “Megan…”
“I don’t want to die. You don’t want to get attached.” She lifted her chin. “It’s the perfect way for both of us to live. How may I serve you?”
“You’re not a bot.”
“I could be one. If anyone knows them, it’s me. I program the damn things. This solves both of our problems. I get to stay with you and you get all the sex you want without the risk of getting to know me.”
They watched each other for long moments. Ice turned away, used the cleansing unit to wash his injured hand, and then dried it. When he turned, all emotions were hidden on his features and his gaze grew chilly.
“Bots follow orders without argument or question. That is how I need my females to be.”
She hesitated, knowing she’d offered to do this. “I can do that.” It wouldn’t be easy, she wasn’t real good at following orders to the letter, but this was sex they were talking about. She had a submissive streak in the bedroom. “I really can do this, Ice.”
His beautiful blue gaze ran down her body quickly and then jerked back up. “A test then?”
“A test of what?”
“A test to see if you can follow orders. If you can act as though you are a bot and swear to not get emotional, I will allow you to stay in my room.”
“And you won’t kill me?”
“I already can’t bring myself to kill you, Megan. Your plan of action is logical.
You’re no threat to my home world if you are locked in a room where you have no access to communications. I want to be honest. I highly doubt the council will reverse their decision no matter how long you stay here so don’t get your hopes up of that happening. The available sex is tempting but I will be in total control if we do this.”
Something softened in his gaze. “I just can’t risk it otherwise.”
Getting his heart broken, she thought, understanding what he couldn’t risk. She pushed back her nervousness and nodded. She could do submissive. She’d had a boyfriend once who was heavily into that shit. It had been a little hot until she found out he liked that in all aspects of his life. She could be submissive in the bedroom but outside of it, she made her own choices.
She attempted not to be anxious as she closed the distance between them. She stopped inches in front of him, so close she could touch him by just lifting her hands.
Her chin tipped back so she could stare up at the much-taller man. He was so very handsome with his strong masculine features and those amazing light-blue eyes with the silver streaks.
“How may I serve you?”
“We’ll try this plan of yours.” He hesitated. “Strip now.” His voice deepened.
I can totally be submissive, she thought. She turned away from him and started to strip out of her borrowed clothing. When naked, she turned to face him again, stunned to see that he’d removed his own clothing very quickly. She hadn’t heard a thing to indicate he’d undressed. She’d have to remember how stealthy he could be.
“You do as I say or this isn’t going to work. Am I clear?”
“Crystal.”
He studied her and she saw something in his expression that made her tense. She had seen that look before with a few of her employers when they were pissed off and about to push her into quitting. This was one job that she wasn’t about to easily let go.
She watched him without saying a word as he went to the built-in drawers, bent to show his nice, firm, rounded ass, and opened the lowest one. In seconds he turned and she stared at what he had in his hand.
“Come here.”
Shit! She froze in fear at seeing the ropelike, long belt he held fisted in his hand. He watched her very closely.
“I said come here.”
Her gaze locked with his. “You’re scaring me a little. I know you got a little worked up over our conversation but you know I’m not responsible for the bad things done to you, right?”
“I won’t hurt you, Megan. There are things I wished to experience with the bots but they aren’t easily mobile as you are.”
“Can you tell me what you want to do?”
“You’re not behaving as a bot.” He frowned. “I’m willing to do anything to protect you, even live with you if you understand we can’t get attached to each other, but for it to be a successful partnership you need to go along with the plan we have set forth.”
“Plan? You mean act as if I’m a bot so it’s easier for you to pretend I’m not real?”
He frowned at her. “It is to remind you as well that this is a partnership and not a relationship.”
“You’re not treating me as if I’m a bot—in my defense.”
His lips curved and amusement lit his blue eyes. “How would you know?”
Double shit! I have to watch what I say or he’s going to figure out I watched him do them.
“You never damaged them.”
“I have no intention of harming you in any way.” He approached her instead of having her come to him. “I couldn’t stand to watch you hit, so use logic.”
“You won’t hurt me?”
“I won’t hurt you,” he confirmed softly. “Put your hands together in front of you, wrists together as if you were going to pray to your God.”
Hesitation was instant but then she did as he demanded. She lifted her arms and entwined her fingers together, locking her palms at face level. Ice started to wrap the soft material around her wrists, securing them together firmly but not tight enough to cut off circulation to her hands. She had to admit to feeling strong curiosity but no longer any fear. He tied it off and then stepped back, tugging on her to follow him. She was leashed by the long trailing end that he held in his hand.
He led her to the cleansing unit and stepped inside, leading her into the small space with him. She wondered what they were doing in there unless he had a sudden urge to get clean but he didn’t activate the wall to start the foam. Instead he maneuvered until her back pressed against the wall with her facing him. He reached up and she lifted her chin to watch as he threw the ropelike belt over a hook near the ceiling. He had to lean 64 against her and go up on tiptoe to reach it to make that toss but he did it. Her heart pounded, having no clue what he’d do or what he had planned.
He lowered to stand in front of her and held the belt with one raised hand. Their gazes locked and she suddenly gasped as he lowered that arm, his biceps straining as he used his strength to pull down on it while it lifted her body from the floor. His other hand slipped around her waist, taking most of her weight off her wrists.
“What―”
“Quiet,” he ordered in a rough voice. “Reach up and grab the bar above you.”
She dangled inches from the floor, her arms above her head, the belt being used as a pulley system from the hook above. She bit her lip, staring at him, and then gasped as he lowered his arm more, wrapping the belt around his wrist, twist after twist, inching her higher from the floor.
Megan had guessed that cyborgs were strong but he literally held all of her weight with his left arm and the one around her waist. She suddenly knew how a puppet felt as he pulled her higher. He didn’t stop until her br**sts were level with his mouth. He stared at them and then leaned in, his mouth closing over one. She fumbled for the bar, her fingers frantically grabbed hold, clenching it.
“Oh God,” she moaned.
Ice’s mouth wasn’t gentle. It was hot, wet, and he sucked on her nipple hard. The sensation that rippled through her brought sheer pleasure. His arm slid away from her waist and his now-free hand gripped her thigh, caressing upward until his thumb pressed against her pu**y.
He shifted his hand and then his fingers cupped her mound, holding her there firmly as his teeth nipped her in a shocking jolt of something akin to pain but it didn’t exactly hurt. It was erotic as hell and her body responded full force. She realized how wet she’d grown when his fingers slid between her sex lips and he played with the slippery moisture that came from her. He groaned against her breast and released it, going for the other one.
“Ice,” she moaned.
He didn’t respond verbally but two of his fingers suddenly drove up inside her pu**y as his mouth sucked harder on her nipple. Pleasure seared through her and the cool wall behind her made her even more aware of how much warmth his skin radiated where it pressed against her stomach as he leaned in more, finger-fucking her harder and faster. His mouth played hell on her nipple.