Thirty and a Half Excuses Page 28


“I ain’t got to read the will to know it’s mine.”

Miss Mildred’s mouth lifted into a grin that made her look like she had a raging case of constipation. “Well, it might be that there’s a surprise waiting for you when you attend the reading of the will. Until then, you’re trespassing on private property.”

“What the hell are you talkin’ about? I’m only here in Henryetta a few days. I gotta make hay while the sun shines. I’m gonna start packing up boxes.”

“If you stay in this house another minute, I’ll call the police and have ‘em forcibly remove you.”

Christy laughed. “You wouldn’t do that.”

What did Miss Mildred know that Christy didn’t? She liked to stir up trouble, but I didn’t think even she would kick Christy out if she didn’t think she had the right. “I guarantee you that she will,” I said. “She calls the police on me at least twice a week.”

Christy looked me up and down again, really studying me this time. “You? What on earth for?”

“Kissing my boyfriend in my front yard.”

Christy laughed. “It’s only because she’s jealous she ain’t gettin’ any.”

It was my turn to gasp.

She turned to Miss Mildred. “Get off my porch, old woman. I ain’t warning you twice.”

Miss Mildred poked her finger into Christy’s chest. “We’ll just see who has the last laugh.”

Christy looked like she was about to punch Miss Mildred, so I grabbed the old lady’s arm and gave it a gentle tug.

“Miss Mildred, this isn’t accomplishing anything. You’ve had your say, let’s get going.”

Mildred jerked her arm free from my grasp. “Don’t you be telling me what to do, demon woman.”

Now I regretted not letting Christy punch her.

“I’ll go when I want to go,” she went on. “Dorothy was my friend, and I won’t see her house violated by filth like that woman.” But even as she muttered the words, she was descending the steps.

“That’s right,” Christy called after her. “Crawl back under your slimy rock!” Then the screen door slammed shut.

Miss Mildred hobbled down the drive to the sidewalk, and I wasn’t sure whether to stay with her or get out of her line of fire. I decided to ask her the question that was burning in my brain. “Were you serious when you told Christy she didn’t inherit the house?”

Miss Mildred turned to me with a sneer. “You callin’ me a liar?”

“Well, no…”

“Dorothy changed her will last week. I know for a fact she didn’t leave the house to that low-life druggie. Dorothy wanted to do everything in her power to make sure she didn’t get it, and she even told me the house had already been turned over, whatever that means. She went to her attorney last week to sign the papers. I drove her there myself.”

“Who’d she leave it to?”

Miss Mildred’s face puckered in contempt. “Someone not much better.”

“Who?”

“I don’t see how it’s any of your business. Don’t you have something to do other than pestering me?”

I stopped in my tracks at the edge of the driveway, watching her make her way down the sidewalk. If I lived to be a hundred years old, I’d never figure that woman out. Why’d she share the information with me if she wasn’t going to tell me to the whole story?

I couldn’t help thinking it was a strange coincidence that Miss Dorothy had died a week after changing her will. I considered calling Mason, but what was he going to do with that?

“It’s too bad that old bat wasn’t killed too.”

I jumped at the male voice behind me and spun around to see Thomas standing next to the open door of his car. “Thomas! That’s a terrible thing to say!”

He shrugged. “I’m just sayin’ what everyone’s thinkin’, and you know it. This neighborhood is full of old bitches, but she’s the biggest of ‘em all.”

How could I argue with that? “Still, it’s not right to wish anyone dead.”

“Don’t worry,” he said, bending down to get into his car. “She’ll get what’s comin’ to her.”

His engine revved as everything went black, and a vision overtook me. I stood in a dark room across from a beefy Hispanic man who was sitting on the edge of a table. “You got the stuff?”

“I had problems.”

The bulky man stood, towering over me. “I ain’t got time for problems. Get your ass back out there and get it.”

“But I think the police are starting to figure things out.”

He held his hands from his sides. “You’re just full of problems, amigo. Figure it out.”

Thomas’s car came back into focus as it backed out of the driveway. “You’ve got big problems,” I said out loud.

I nearly stumbled over from shock, thankful that Thomas was speeding away and wouldn’t get suspicious about my remark. What kind of trouble was he in? What did he mean that Mildred was going to ‘get hers’? I suddenly remembered something he’d said—It’s too bad that old bat wasn’t killed too. The police and the media were claiming the women had died of natural causes, but Thomas had used the word killed, not died. Now I was even more curious.

I hurried home and locked my doors, suddenly feeling more unsafe than usual. I tried to imagine scrawny Thomas murdering someone. It didn’t seem to fit. And even if he had killed Miss Laura and Miss Dorothy, how had he made it look like natural causes? God help me, but that boy just didn’t seem that bright.

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