“Oh, relax,” Bright said. “It’s not even tobacco—that stuff will kill you, plus it makes you stink. These are good for you.” He took another drag, and this time when he exhaled I noticed that the smoke was vaguely multicolored. It smelled pretty good, too, kind of like the fresh smell of pavement right after a rainstorm.

“What?” he said, registering my curiosity. “You never met anyone who smokes rainbows?”

“Oh, come on,” Nox snorted. I couldn’t decide whether or not to be pleased that the appearance of this stranger had caused Nox to revert to his old, prickly self.

“They’re rolled from the finest dried rainbow husks Rainbow Falls has to offer,” Bright said. “Hard to get these days, now that there’s not much trade with the mainland. But I hear Dorothy has a case or fifty stashed away for special occasions. They’re all I smoke. Luckily I have a steady supply. Get ’em straight from the source.”

A light bulb went off over my head.

“Wait,” I asked, putting all of the pieces together. “Rainbow Falls? You don’t know someone named Polychrome, do you?”

Bright’s lips curled into a crooked, rakish smile.

“Know her? Yeah, I think we might have met once or twice,” he said. “Cool girl. Crazy as anyone you’ll ever meet, but there are worse things than crazy, right?”

“We’re looking for her,” I said. “Do you know where we can find her?”

“Ahh.” Bright tapped his chin. “I might be able to help you out. Is there a reward?”

Nox was already seething. “Yeah, the reward is that we save the kingdom from an evil tyrant and you get to keep on smoking your rainbow cigarettes without a care in the world.”

“Well, that’s tempting,” Bright said. “What else have you got?”

I figured maybe it was time to step in and lighten the mood.

“How ’bout a French One textbook? It’s worth forty bucks.” I was half joking, but if this dude thought he was getting my necklace or even my Argyle sock, he was dreaming. Which might not have been so far-fetched for a guy who smokes rainbows.

“Sorry,” Bright said. “I already speak French. Peut-être vous pouvez m’apprendre à embrasser en français à la place?”

My old French teacher Madame Pusalino would have been extremely disappointed in how quickly I’d forgotten my conversational skills. It took me a good minute to translate what he’d said, and when I figured it out, all I could do was snap my head back and shoot him my most withering look.

“What’d he say?” Nox asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Möchtet ihr deutscher Schokoladenkuchen?” Ozma offered.

All three of us turned and stared at her. She smiled and shrugged.

“Look,” I finally said. “Forget all this. Tell us how to find Polychrome.”

Without mentioning it, I called forth a small spell. Something subtle. My fist began to burn with orange, smoldering flame.

“Jeez!” Bright said, taking the hint. “Don’t get all hot under the collar. I’m just messing around. Although I have to admit, it’s not every day that I meet a girl as beautiful as you who can do magic.”

Nox made a move to step between us. “How about you back off?” he snapped, looking ready to actually punch the guy.

“Whoa there, mon frère,” Bright said, now raising his palms in a show of completely insincere apology. “I’m a lover, not a fighter. Anyway, I didn’t know the lady had a protector on call. As a gentleman, I stand down.”

“And as a gentlewoman, I can protect myself,” I said, glaring at Nox. Then to Bright: “If you think I’m pretty now, you should see me when I’m splattered with blood and entrails. I’m a ruthless killer, you know.”

Out of nowhere, Ozma interjected. “Bring us to her,” she said, slamming her scepter into the ground. All three of us turned to stare at her, momentarily united in amazement, and I realized that, with her scepter, she suddenly looked more regal than before. I wondered if finding it had somehow made her stronger.

“Well!” Bright said. “I didn’t know it was a royal command! The way I heard it, you weren’t doing much commanding at all these days, Your Highness. But I’m nothing if not a faithful subject. I’ll try to be of service if I can.”

“Yeah,” Nox said, apparently still not ready to admit that Bright was harmless. “How about you do that.”

“Whoa, chill, pal. The door to the falls will be around here somewhere—when I’m in the mood to go home, it’s never too far away. Everyone else has a bitch of a time finding it. Meanwhile, half the time I feel like it’s following me. When I’m not lost, that is. Go figure.”

He began to shamble toward the trees, I guess expecting us to tag along.

“What an asshole,” Nox said under his breath. I elbowed him in the ribs as a friendly reminder to let it go. I didn’t disagree, but for now, we needed this guy.

After moving quickly through the palm trees, we found ourselves standing on a cobblestone street at the edge of the city. From the beach, we’d only been able to see a silhouetted skyline against the blue sky, but now that we were in it, it was stranger and larger than I had expected. It was like something out of a fairy tale—which I know is a weird thing to say when you’re already in a fairy tale, but that was Oz for you.