Allie hadn’t told Jane about her ugly split with Gavin. She was afraid it would appear unprofessional. Instead, she had casually asked if Gavin would be at the awards dinner. “He didn’t buy a ticket,” Jane had said. “And he’s not getting an award. Or presenting one.”

Allie had skimmed the ceremony’s program to confirm the truth of the latter statements, so she’d been able to relax up to a point. He was the one who was in the wrong, so he should be nervous about running into her. But she couldn’t quite convince herself of that.

She had braved the possibility of encountering Gavin because she was desperate. The patient Ben Cavill referred her to had hired her for the next couple of months, but even at the exorbitant rate she charged, it wasn’t enough income to keep her afloat. Damn Gavin for interfering with that, too.

Of course, the check that he had sent to her, claiming it was compensation for her work on the Julian Best bible, had been beyond anything her work was worth. Guilt money, to assuage his conscience. She’d kept what she thought was fair and sent back the rest.

But for all that, she missed him so much that she felt empty. Funny that she’d never felt that way about Troy. With him it had been a sense of failure and disappointment, not like her guts had been ripped out. Gavin made her feel fully alive, whether they were trading sass and snark, discussing Julian Best’s character, or making love with an intensity that lit up every inch of her body and soul.

Allie shifted on her high-heeled pumps. She’d been afraid that Jane would want to talk about Gavin, but the agent had simply thanked her for her excellent work with the writer and moved on to another topic.

Now Allie smoothed down the silk skirt of the only black cocktail dress she owned, plucked off the sale rack at an outlet store in Hackensack. It was a demure sheath in front, but the back was sheer black lace down to the waist. When she’d bought it, she’d felt very daring. Now she just felt miserable.

“You remember Kendra Leigh,” Jane said, waving over the young woman who had shared Gavin’s book signing.

Allie exchanged polite conversation with the author, all the while scanning the crowd in fear that Gavin would appear. She saw many people who carried tension in their shoulders, or rolled their necks in discomfort. If she could get some word-of-mouth recommendations, there would be plenty of work from this group.

“Ladies and gentlemen, would you please be seated? We’d like to begin dinner.”

Jane led the way to a round table near the stage while Allie wished her tardy client would show up.

Four people were already seated there. Jane introduced Allie as a physical therapist who specialized in writers’ issues. When one woman began to describe her symptoms and ask what Allie would advise for them, Allie felt a surge of confidence. This she could discuss with authority, rather than sitting silent as the others reviewed who had moved from one publishing house to another or decided to self-publish their work.

As a man stepped up to the podium and signaled for quiet, Jane murmured, “He’s won two Edgars and sold over a million books. Which doesn’t make him a good writer.”

Allie nearly spit out the sip of water she’d just taken as she choked on a laugh. No wonder Gavin and Jane made such great business partners.

Her laughter died as she remembered Gavin’s roguish smile when he said something snarky. He always invited her to join in the joke with that gleam in his eyes. She mentally shook herself and focused on the speaker.

“Before we begin the awards, a colleague of mine has asked for a few minutes at the microphone. He guarantees that you will be astonished by what he has to say. My curiosity got the better of me, so I agreed to his request.”

Jane made an odd noise in her throat. “This is not what I expected.”

“What do you mean?” Allie whispered.

The agent gave her a tight smile and looked back at the stage.

Allie followed her gaze and felt every nerve in her body jolt as Gavin strode onto the stage. He wore a dark gray suit with perfect tailoring that made his legs look longer and his shoulders broader than even her dreams recalled. His dark wizard’s energy crackled around him so that his thick hair almost seemed to lift and move with it.

Just the sight of him sent thrills coursing through her body. She wanted to escape out the door to stop the twisting agony of knowing she would never touch him again.

Instead, she sat upright, her hands knotted together in her lap, forcing the stiff muscles of her face into an expression of polite interest.

“Thank you, Chad,” Gavin said, shaking hands with the master of ceremonies. “I knew I could count on your inquiring mind to win me a few minutes of our colleagues’ indulgence.” He stepped up to the podium and swept his gaze over the audience, compelling their attention. “I’m Gavin Miller.”

A few people chuckled.

“While I am a writer like all of you, I hope you will forgive me for using this podium for a deeply personal matter.”

The last murmur of conversation cut off abruptly, and an expectant silence fell over the room.

His gaze swung in Allie’s direction. She felt pinned to her seat. “A very wise woman told me that when you’ve wronged someone you love, the best way to win forgiveness is to grovel.”

Somewhere in the distance, she heard understanding laughter, but her brain was focused on one word in the sentence. Love. He couldn’t be talking about her. Yet those gray-green eyes were locked on her face.

“The wise woman”—Gavin spoke directly to her—“happens to be my mother.”

Allie gasped. He had found his mom. Tears brimmed in her eyes as happiness for Gavin flowed through her.

He continued. “Trust is something I have a hard time with, which might be why I created Julian Best, a man who consorts with a woman he knows is a double agent. He cannot love because love requires trust. Yet I have it on good authority”—he smiled at her without holding anything back—“that Julian simply hasn’t been fortunate enough to meet the right woman.”

He broke eye contact to announce to the entire audience. “I, however, have been lucky where Julian has not.” His gaze came back to Allie. “I knew I had found someone special, something precious, but I made the mistake of thinking she was like all the other women I thought I loved. I couldn’t see how unique she was. Until I drove her away with my inability to believe in her.”