At least, I hope not.

I took a sip from my glass and tried not to let myself indulge in that line of thinking. If Cullen did find out about Smith and me and that was enough to damage our relationship for good, then there were deeper problems at play. We were family, and we would work through it if it came down to that. It was Cullen and Smith’s relationship that had me worried. As close as they were, it was still hard for Cullen to accept that I was a grown-up now. He would probably think Smith had taken advantage of me, which, considering how we’d started whatever this was between us, was almost funny.

“But I do think my past fucked me up some and probably has a lot to do with my relationships as an adult. I won’t lie, Everleigh,” he said, meeting my gaze. “I feel different about you than I’ve ever felt before, but I don’t know what that means yet. I’m no white knight, and I could fuck this all up. If you want to walk away now and cut your losses, I’ll understand.”

God, had it only been a couple of weeks ago that I’d climbed into his bed? So much had changed so quickly. How strange my only goal back then was to get a do-over. To have my first orgasm with a man, and have Smith be the guy at the other end of the dick I needed to get me there. How quickly that had changed.

Yeah, I still wanted that. More every day, actually. But now, as we sat talking about our hopes and dreams and families? I found myself wishing that this was my life. Smith and me talking about our day, laughing at darts and sharing our lives with each other.

That was dangerous shit, and I needed to watch my step. But I wasn’t walking away. Not yet.

“And miss all the fun? Not a chance,” I replied, trying to keep my tone light so he couldn’t see how much this meant to me. He claimed to be no white knight, but the Smith I knew would back off instantly if he realized the power he had over me. If and when this ended, I would be destroyed. Only I couldn’t let him know that.

In an effort to take a step back from the intimacy and catch my breath, I shot him a grin before plucking a five-dollar bill from my purse.

“Why don’t we go play some music on the jukebox?”

I stood and waited for Smith to join me, and then headed over to the glowing monstrosity in the corner. Once it ate my money, we paged through, looking for songs we both liked.

“Oh my God, do you remember this one?” I jabbed my finger on “Remix to Ignition” by R. Kelly and closed my eyes for a second as the music started.

“How could I forget? You were like ten years old, and I walked in on you singing it into a brush that time. It was hilarious,” Smith said, his eyes shining with laughter.

“By hilarious, you mean awesome, right? Because I’m pretty sure I was singing the shit out of this song.”

I leaned in and belted out a few lines along with R. Kelly as Smith howled with laughter.

Yeah, this felt good. Too good to stop.

Major crash and burn ahead or not, I was committed to staying on this ride with Smith and finding out when and where it ended. If I wound up with a broken heart, at least I had Maggie to comfort me, along with Ben and Jerry.

It would have to be enough.

Chapter Nineteen

Three weeks later

“And we just got a huge order from Saks.” Cullen leaned forward, putting his arms on the table between us, and shook his head in amazement. “Saks. Smith, do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for an order from fucking Saks?”

I raised my eyebrows in approval as I bit into my massive roast beef sandwich, all the while trying not to follow Evie’s movements with my gaze.

“Not to mention that the new line is on fire at every single retailer,” Cullen continued, spooning up some of the chowder from his bowl and shooting me a wide grin.

We’d been at lunch for precisely four minutes before Evie had walked into the same little deli a few blocks from the office. She hadn’t caught sight of us yet, but there was no doubt she would. I only hoped she’d have a little mercy on me and refuse our eventual invitation to join us.

She was wearing a new tailored pantsuit, and it hugged her bottom like a glove. It was hard enough trying to keep it together in the office day after day with her brother in the general area. When we were all forced to be in a room together, it was a living hell.

“From a sheer numbers perspective, we’re outpacing even our most optimistic forecasts, so this is awesome,” I said, digging into my potato salad as Evie passed our table.

In a stroke of perfect luck, she caught my eye right as Cullen’s attention was focused on sprinkling oyster crackers into his soup. She must have been as uncomfortable with the thought of making it through a meal as part of this awkward threesome as I was, because she wiggled her fingers at me and tore ass out the door.

“I couldn’t be happier,” Cullen said, beaming. “Thanks so much for coming on to help out. Between you and Evie, it’s been a game changer.”

Me and Evie.

I chewed my food as I thought back on the past few days.

Had it really only been three weeks ago that we’d gone out to Rap Scallion’s and played darts? It seemed like months. In the interim, we’d seen each other daily at work, and then again most evenings. Even if it was just the two of us meeting at a dive across town for a quick cocktail after her yoga class, or me surprising her by stopping at her place on the way to Pam’s to steal a kiss.

Twice, she’d come over for movie night.

Twice, we’d missed half the movie, making out like teenagers on my couch.