“He-llo gorgeous.” Tom gets up from his chair.

“No,” Jake says sternly, pointing a finger at him, stopping him in his tracks.

“What?” Tom says innocently, holding his hands up in surrender style. “I was just coming over to say hello to the gorgeous Trudy, and to greet her in my genuine Tom style … and also to find out where he’s been hiding you,” he says directly to me, conspiratorially winking.

I actually blush.

What am I – sixteen?

“Yeah, and your style usually involves tongues and groping. Tru has had a long flight and can do without you pawing her – and also she has a boyfriend, so hands off.” Jakes sounds so protective, like he’s my big brother or something. Maybe that’s how he views me, in a sister like fashion.

The thought depresses me a little. Well, quite a lot actually.

“Jeez, down boy – I get it.” Tom rolls his eyes at Jake, laughing he sits back down in his chair and takes a swig of his beer.

“You want something to drink?” Jake asks me, as he starts to move away.

I suddenly feel a little bereft without his touch. And still a little saddened by the brotherly protectiveness.

“No I’m fine thanks … you know, I think I will go and unpack my suitcase … leave you guys to finish your game.” I gesture to the on-going card game being played at the table.

Jake stops, turning to look at me. “You sure?” he asks.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” I smile. “I’ll see you all later,” I wave in the guy’s direction. “It was nice to meet you all.”

I turn and leave the room, acutely aware of the fact that Jake’s eyes are on me the whole time I’m walking away.

Chapter Ten

It’s my second day in Stockholm and tonight is TMS’s first show.

I’m at the stadium with the band. The opening show is at the Ericsson Globe. It’s the strangest and most cool building I have ever seen. It’s shaped like a large white ball. It’s also quite a small venue for the guys, it only takes about sixteen thousand people, there’s the Stockholm Stadium which hosts double that, but I think the guys wanted to kick the tour off with a small venue to start with.

I’m sitting out in the seats watching them rehearse for tonight, while the roadies get everything set up for tonight’s show.

It’s the first time I’ve ever seen Jake up on stage with my own two eyes, and not watching him through a TV screen.

He looks at ease up there, but I can tell he’s a little on edge. I can see it in his eyes. That little lost look he gets. He exudes calm control to everyone, but I can tell. He was the same when we were kids.

Other people probably miss it, but I see it, I’ve always seen it in him.

I’m guessing he’s on edge because it’s his first show since Japan. I think he struggles on stage without Jonny by his side. It must be hard for all of them, and for Smith too, having to fill the stage where such a big presence once stood.

I spent yesterday in the hotel with Jake and the guys. After I’d finished unpacking and calling my dad, Will and Simone, Jake came knocking to see if I wanted any food. The guys were ordering room service up. Surprisingly, they weren’t going out partying.

Maybe being good boys with the first show being the next day.

So I went and hung out with them, ate, drank beer and played cards.

I wasn’t technically working yesterday but just being with them all gave me a good initial insight into the dynamics between them all. The relationship the band has, especially with new addition of Smith for the tour.

It’s funny, because even though Jake’s the ‘boss’ it didn’t come across that way with them. They all seem to have a great relationship. Watching them together, it was just like watching a bunch of guys in college. Even with Smith, there’s no weirdness with him there, the way they act toward him, it seems like he’s always been there.

But it did make me wonder what it was like when Jonny was still here.

It’s clear that Denny is the sensible one, so I get the impression he’s the one Jake can rely on for work. Tom’s not unreliable, but the definite player I’d say. The one always cracking jokes, the partier and clearly a womaniser.

Tom’s eyes spent a lot of time on my boobs while I was there with them. It didn’t bother me, but I got the clear impression it was bothering Jake. Mainly because he kept asking me if I was cold, and did I need to put a sweater on over my vest top.

Yeah sure Jake, it’s a hundred degrees in here, of course I want to wear a sweater!

His behaviour, if anything just highlighted the big brother vibe I got earlier, when he made the comment about Smith being married.

Tom is well known, like Jake, for enjoying the ‘female’ perks of his profession.

I can imagine Tom is that kind of player who would work the room, flirting his way around. I think Jake is the kind of guy who waits for woman to come to him. He doesn’t work for it. Then again, he doesn’t need too.

Not that I’ve seen any of this in action yet, but I’m sure I will very soon. And honestly, I’m not looking forward to seeing Jake with other women. The thought turns my stomach.

I didn’t do any of the sightseeing I had intended to on my first day in Stockholm, and I probably won’t today either as I’m here with Jake and the guys at the stadium, and then it’s the show tonight, then we leave first thing in the morning to go to Germany.

I get a feeling this is how things might be for the whole of the tour.

It’s lunchtime, Jake’s called a break from rehearsal and I’m in one of the large dressing rooms with him and the guys, and a few other people from the tour, eating lunch.

I’m sitting on the sofa, my notepad rested on the arm, and I’m writing up some things, pulling together some of my notes from the rehearsals.

“Did you get anything good from this morning’s rehearsal for the book?” Jake asks slumping down into the empty space next to me, indicating to my notebook.

He sits so close, a nervous energy suddenly takes reign under my skin.

“A few things.” I turn my head, smiling at him. “It was great watching you up there on stage.”

“The show tonight will be even better,” he smiles confidently back at me.

He can be such an arrogant sod at times, but it’s so alluring.

“I’m sure it will be.” Then a thought pops into my head, remembering something he said to me back when I interviewed him, about that woman he’d hired for the tour, who was going to make it amazing. He hasn’t mentioned her since, and I haven’t been introduced to many women on this tour. Jake seems to have a lot of men working for him, I feel quite outnumbered; it’s a good job I get on better with men. Men, especially who are into music I can get on with no problem. Bitchy groupies looking to hook up with Jake, maybe not so much.

I wonder if that’s a deliberate thing on his part, keeping it mainly to a male orientated tour, keeping the temptation from wanting to screw any of his staff away from him. Fucking the staff wouldn’t make for a good working environment I’d imagine.

“So when do I get to meet the mystery woman on this tour?” I ask, crossing my legs.

Jake looks at me confused. “What do you mean?”

I turn my body toward him slightly. “When I interviewed you, you said you’d hired some woman who was going to make this tour your most successful to date.”

He laughs. “You’re wearing her shoes, Tru.” He glances down at my dangling foot.

I follow his stare, lifting my high heeled black studded ankle boot up a little higher.

“Eh?”

He leans close, and his hot breath brushes over the skin on my neck tickling me, as he says, “I was talking about you, Tru.”

What?

I stay shock still as he leans back, assessing my face.

“But you didn’t offer me this job, or well … the magazine until the next day,” I utter, finding my voice.

He grins. “I know.”

“So how did you know I’d take the job?”

“Because women never say no to me.” With a wink, he gets up and wanders off over to the food table.

God, he’s such a cocky, arrogant bastard at times. And I totally fancy him.

No I don’t.

Yes, I do.

No. I. Don’t.

Ah fuck.

I’m at the side of the stage standing in the right wing with Stuart. The support band had finished a while ago, and now TMS are about to take the stage.

Jake walks slowly onto stage coming in from the left, with a confidence that only he can carry, with his guitar slung across his back.

He looks across at me, his eyes move over my clothes, my body, then they meet with mine and he grins.

I feel a blush rise in my cheeks. I’m glad it’s a little darker here where we’re standing, so Stuart can’t see what a girl I’m being.

When Jake reaches the mike, he leans close, but then pauses, leaning back he surveys the crowd. This Jake has this way of looking around at everyone in the room, but making you feel like the only person he’s actually looking at is you. That you are the object of his desire. You’re the one he’s taking home tonight. He can undress a woman with one look alone. And when his eyes meet and fix onto mine, I suddenly feel it and more, and it strips me naked to the core. My legs start to tremble.

Then his eyes drift away from mine.

“So I see we have Stockholm’s finest in here tonight. Ladies you look beautiful tonight … and guys, well hang on tight to your girls is all I’m sayin’,” he releases a slow, chuckle. Moving back slightly, he looks at me, gives me a wink and a secret smile, then launches into one of their early hits. ‘Undress You’.

And boy do I feel undressed.

And I stand here experiencing the Jake Wethers experience in full 3D HD glory feeling exposed and naked, and good lord it’s amazing.

I feel high.

On him.

His voice is like hands moving over my skin touching me. His hands. Touching me.

I want that now.

No I don’t.

I mean it’s just a reflex reaction to the rock star lover in me. The dream of wanting to be the one to tame him.

Of course it’s not real.

Halfway through the show, Jake slows things down to a stop.

He swings his guitar to rest behind him and, lifts his hand to his head, running his fingers through his hair. “I just wanted to pause for a minute to talk about Jonny…”

A few fans cry out from the crowd, “Jonny we fuckin’ love you!”

I feel the hairs on my arms prickle. I can see how hard this is for Jake. And I think of him talking to me in bed last night about Jonny. How Jonny was his glue. That Jonny and me were so similar, and I wonder now if that’s how he stills see me – as his strength. I get the sudden urge to want to hold him, run my fingers through his hair, kiss him and tell him everything will always be okay.

Jake bows his head, resting it against the mike.

My throat tightens, tears biting my eyes, as I worry that he’s losing it again, here on stage.

Denny’s over his drum-kit, jumping it in on swift move and he’s at Jake’s side instantly. He puts his hand on Jake’s shoulder, and rests his forehead against Jake’s head, speaking into his ear. Tom is there now too. I notice Smith, takes leave to the side of the stage.