We stayed at the restaurant for a while longer, not talking about the past, not talking about the future, but just enjoying the current moment.

“I hate to break this reunion up, but we better get back to help Erika set up for the dinner,” Kellan said.

I stood up from the booth and held my hand out toward Jacob, and he gripped my hold. “Good to see you, Jacob.”

“You too, Logan. You look good. Really good, man.”

“You too. And um, I never was able to say this, but I’m sorry about what I said so long ago. About your porn addiction and the fork comment.”

He laughed. “I forgive you, buddy. Even though it wasn’t a fork, it was a chilled spoon. And hey! Don’t forget to get me that list of hair products!”

I didn’t know if that made it more normal, or more awkward, but either way, it was good to be around a familiar face.

Chapter Twenty

Logan

“You guys are late!” Erika whined as we walked into the house—which looked completely different than when we left. Everything was moved around, the dining room table, the sofas, the television. I felt as if I’d walked into the twilight zone. “Mom will be here soon.”

“I’m going to go shower before dinner,” I said.

“Good. I left a set of towels and extra items that you might have needed in the guest room.” Erika gestured her head to the back room. “Now, Kellan, come taste the mashed potatoes I made.”

“Wait, time out. Erika is cooking dinner?” I asked, fear in my throat. I felt another stab in my side from Kellan, but I couldn’t hold this one in. “Last time I ate food that she made, the chicken was still clucking, Kellan!”

“Dude. Just… Go shower.”

As I walked away into my room, I snickered hearing Erika say she’d work really hard on not killing me. Sitting on the bed was a box containing clean towels, a toothbrush, floss, Q-tips, safety pins, body wash, deodorant, and everything else a person might need.

I knew she hadn’t gone to the store, so she legit just had this stuff laying around. Sometimes being a bit crazy came in handy.

The shower water ran over me nice and hot. I shampooed and conditioned my hair, as my mind tried to replay each and every moment of running into Alyssa. Her smells, her touches, her smiles, her frowns.

The idea of staying in town solely for the purpose of maybe running into her crossed my mind. But a lot could change in five years, especially after all the missed calls I received from her.

I should’ve called her back. I should’ve answered the phone.

After a few minutes, I was snapped back from my thoughts when I heard knocking at the front door. I shut off the shower, toweled off, and tossed on a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt.

“Was someone smoking in here?” Erika’s mom, Lauren, asked loudly, her voice traveling down the halls.

“What? No, come on in, Mom.”

“It smells like smoke,” Lauren said, her voice filled with disappointment.

In the other room Lauren muttered, shocked once she heard about my return to town. I took a deep breath and snapped the band on my wrist. It doesn’t matter what people think of me. I’m not the same person I was when I left. Their opinions didn’t define me.

It was all mumble jumble that Dr. Khan told me when I was in the rehab clinic, but in that moment, that mumble jumble gave me the strength to exit the bathroom and face more individuals from my past.

“Is he still on drugs?” Lauren wondered out loud as I turned the corner.

“Not today,” I replied, putting on a bright, fake smile. Fake it til you make it, Lo. Just one dinner and then you’re on a train back to Iowa. “Lauren, it’s good to see you.” I extended my hand to her for a shake, but she refused it, pulling her purse closer to her side.

“I thought it was just going to be us for dinner,” Lauren said, her voice heightened with annoyance. “And I thought we were going to a restaurant to eat?” Lauren frowned a lot more than she smiled, and even though she had Alyssa’s eyes, she didn’t have her kind spirit.

“We just thought it would be better to have a small dinner, without all of the noise of the restaurant. Come on in, there’s already wine bottles open on the table, and Erika cooked up a great meal,” Kellan replied with a big smile. I wondered if his grin was as fake as mine.

Before we could sit down to eat, there was another knock at the door. When Erika opened it, my gut tightened seeing Alyssa standing there, holding two bottles of wine.

Whenever she entered a room, my mind melted a little. Keep the wall up, Logan.

“Do you still have room for one more?” she asked, smiling.

“Yeah, definitely, we can make room,” Erika said, rushing to make another plate setting.

Lauren huffed. “It’s extremely rude to just show up to someone’s house and ask for an extra seat at the dinner table.”

“It’s good to see you too, Mom,” Alyssa sassed.

My stare stayed on Alyssa, and her eyes found mine. She gave me a small smile, and I had to break the stare before I got lost in my mind. Being back here, being near her, was so much harder than anything I’d ever had to do.

And I’ve done a ton of hard shit.

We all sat down to eat, my seat right next to Lauren’s, who seemed more nervous than not. Kellan poured everyone wine. I was quick to lift my glass and take a big gulp.

“Should you be drinking?” Lauren asked.

“No, probably not,” I said, finishing my first glass and pouring another. We all started eating Erika’s disgusting food, which I had to chew five times more than normal just to swallow it down, but I didn’t complain.

“How are they treating you at the law firm, Kellan?” Lauren asked. The girls’ mom was a lawyer and one of her favorite things about Kellan was that he studied law and found a successful job where he made good money, and hated his soul.

Kellan cleared his throat, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “I actually quit over a month ago.”

I cocked an eyebrow, shocked. “No shit?”

“What?” Lauren asked, surprised. She turned to Erika. “You didn’t tell me that. Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“It didn’t really seem my place, Mom.”

“But why? Why did you quit?” she questioned.

“It wasn’t a part of my heart, I guess,” Kellan said, squeezing Erika’s hand. They smiled at one another and for a moment I saw it—the love that Kellan said he always felt. Those two really did care for one another. “Leaving the firm gives me a chance to pursue my other passions.”