He gave her hand a squeeze then lifted it to kiss her fingers.

Family. How amazing it was that everyone’s family could be so different. He’d always appreciated his parents, but sitting among Regan’s family, there’d been a different kind of acceptance. Among the different eye colors and backgrounds, beyond the mismatched china and glassware was a family that valued each person.

He wanted that. He could marry, have a child, and no expense would be too much to shower his child with anything they wanted. But he’d finally seen where that wasn’t important. If Regan was the other part of his fantasy, a house full of children and a marriage full of love, he knew there would be a perfect balance in their home, just as there had been in the Keller house each time a new child came to live there.

“Carlos is the only one with children?” he asked, and she took her hand from his.

Turning her head from him, she answered. “Yes. He married very young. He and Madeline were sweethearts in high school. Eduardo came when they were only twenty. A couple of years ago, they got divorced and she married his best friend.”

“That had to have been quite a blow to Carlos.”

“It was. She didn’t have an affair with him, though Carlos accused her of it. Truth is times were tough. He was out of work a lot and going to graduate school, she was working two jobs, the bills were piling up, and the kids were little. It wore on them. Really, it’s too bad. Madeline is a wonderful woman, and Carlos loves her so much.”

How could someone love someone and just walk away from their marriage? Was that what it all came down to? Walk away if it became too hard?

He wondered how Regan felt about that. She’d been very forward about how she felt about dating her boss. Would she walk away if it became too hard? “Why didn’t they just stay married?”

She shrugged. “I’m not sure they know. But she’s married now and they share the kids. And the kids are wonderful!”

“They love you a lot.”

“They are my world.” She gathered his hand again as they pulled up in front of her house.

“Ask me in.” He looked at her, covered in shadows.

“No.” She was firm. “Let’s see how it goes for a while.”

He couldn’t hide his disappointment, but he reminded himself he had time. “You’re killing me.”

“I know. But it’s for the best.”

He nodded in agreement. She needed that space, and he’d give it to her. But everything inside of him wanted to take her up those stairs, close the door behind them, and please her in every physical way he could. “I’ll walk you to the door.” He opened his car door and she shook her head.

“No. If you do, I’ll want to pull you in. I need to be very strong.” She leaned over and kissed him hard, then pulled away leaving him wanting more. “Tomorrow we go about our day as though nothing has changed. Between eight and five, we are coworkers only. No special treatment, no secret kisses.” He dropped his shoulders and let out a ragged, long breath. Her mouth tightened. “I’m serious. If this is going to work…”

He didn’t like the fear in her eyes. It took over every time he thought they’d taken a few steps forward. “Regan, it’s going to work.” He nipped her lip with his teeth then kissed it gently. It was going to take more than seduction to prove to her that he was the man for her. He pressed his forehead to hers and sucked in a deep breath. “Go before I carry you into the house.”

She smiled. She climbed out of the car and walked up the steps without looking back.

The house was dark, but she knew Carlos was there when she shut and locked the door.

The couch squeaked. “You didn’t invite him in?”

“No. I’m not there yet. What are you doing in the dark?”

“Sulking.”

She walked to the couch and sat down next to him. “You’re okay too.”

“I love her. I can’t let her out of my heart, and I need to.”

She knew he was crying, but she stayed close without touching him. “Do you think it would help if you told her how you feel?”

“No. We made our decision. She married him. The kids seem fine. I have to let it go.”

“It’s been two years. How are you going to let it go?”

“I don’t know. It’s killing me,” he said. His voice sounded wet, and after a while he sniffed hard.

Regan kissed her brother on the head and walked up the stairs. It seemed like they both hurt when it came to love. She wondered how long her new affair would last. Perhaps she should look for a new job just in case the one with Zachary Benson should come to a crashing, lying, cheating, hateful end.

It wasn’t very positive of her. How was it going to work if she was so pessimistic?

Regan undressed and slipped on her nightgown. She brushed her hair before climbing into bed. As she rested her head against the pillow, she sighed. She still couldn’t help but wonder what she was doing. Her stomach was twitching with nerves, and she pressed her hand over it to soothe it. Then, absentmindedly, she traced her fingertips over the scar that would always remind her she was making another big mistake.

Chapter seven

Regan hadn’t been this nervous about going to work since her first day at Benson, Benson, and Hart. Now that she and Zach were an item outside the office, her nerves were making her sick to her stomach. She’d tossed and turned all night long and fought with makeup to conceal the black circles under her eyes. Now it was time to face the decision she’d made and walk into that building sure that what she was doing was the right thing. Even if she wasn’t sure it was.

She hurried to the office, stored her things under her desk, and then went right into Zach’s office, but it was empty. She walked back to her desk only to find an enormous stack of contracts and plans on it. The note on top said Please see to this ASAP.

Well, damn it! Once again, the man she worked for had pushed her away. Yet that’s what they had agreed on, at her insistence. No special treatment—and there was none. So why did it feel so much like he was rejecting her?

Regan sat right down at her desk and started sifting through the piles. As the office began to fill, people stopped by her desk to say hello or to drop off messages for Zach and reports that were due on other builds. Audrey—not Zach—had called her at least four times, and so had Simone Pierpont. Daily conversations with Audrey she could handle. Simone Pierpont—that was another story.