***

“You’ll be fine. It’ll be fine. You’re a professional . . . you can do this.” I nodded at the image of myself in the mirror while I spoke under my breath. Despite the pep talk, a little crack formed in my armor as a potent reminder drifted to my forebrain. You didn’t earn this. You don’t deserve it. The only reason they hired you is because of Sean.

“Crackers . . .” Sighing sadly, I closed the locker door, rubbing my chest where the spike of nervous energy flared and made it difficult to swallow.

I’d started saying crackers instead of crap when Patrick was old enough to repeat my words. Running after a two-year-old bellowing, “CRAAAAP!” at the top of his lungs had been a game-changer. So crap became crackers, and shite became shells, and fuck became forks.

This morning had been extremely difficult, dropping Patrick off at school and knowing he would be there all day. He hadn’t been at a daycare all day for the last year, not since Sean had stepped in and insisted I take a loan from him so I could finish my degree.

This job was the first step toward paying my cousin back. But the irony tasted sour because Sean had been the one to arrange for the job that would pay him back.

I’ll never be able to pay him back . . .

“Hey there, you must be Eilish Cassidy.”

Startled, I glanced up to find a smiling woman with her hand extended. Remembering myself, I quickly accepted her handshake.

“Uh, yes. I’m Eilish.”

“Name is Jenna McCarthy, I’m the nutritionist for the team. I know your cousin Sean. He got you the job, right? Lord, you sound just as posh as he does.”

She gave me a quick once-over, but other than the bluntness of her words, I couldn’t detect anything judgmental or sinister in her demeanor. Actually, quite the opposite.

“I . . . uh . . . that’s right, he—”

“My brother was a coach, way back when Donovan was the team captain in the nineties, that’s how I got my spot.” She nodded once at this information, then turned and waved at me to follow, which I scrambled to do as she continued, “The club knows it’s best to keep things in the family. It’s a good way to keep it professional, you know? Otherwise the support staff would be full of fans and shite-all would get done.” She chuckled and rolled her eyes.

I huffed a relieved laugh and my smile widened as my gaze moved over the profile of Jenna McCarthy. Several inches shorter than me, her tight, curly hair was blonde with healthy swaths of silvery gray, and laugh lines framed bright blue eyes. She’d led us out of the women’s locker room and into a stairwell I didn’t know existed.

“This is the best way to the belly of the beast.” She gestured to the steps leading down. “You can avoid all the bigwigs and chatty clan in the office. Plus, you’re the new physio, yes?”

“Yes. I’m—”

“Well then, Connors always takes the lift, so you can avoid him, too. Just make sure you hide your lunch because he’s sort of infamous for thieving food around here.” She chuckled again and nudged me with her elbow just before descending the stairs.

I moved quickly to follow her.

“He seems to be very knowledgeable.” I’d only met the man who would be my closest coworker once during the interview process. All of his questions were on point, but it was made very clear that he wasn’t my boss. The entire support staff reported up through the health and wellness coach, Brian Tierney.

“Who? Connors?” she asked over her shoulder, but didn’t wait for me to respond. “I suppose he is. But he’s also a grumpy bugger, which is how we lost the last two physio assistants, if you want to know the truth. Hopefully, you being Sean’s girl means he’ll have better manners.”

I didn’t volunteer that my cousin Sean had said something similar about Connors. Nor did I relate how Sean had told me in no uncertain terms that I was to come to him immediately should I have any issues with the senior physiotherapist. I’d smiled and nodded at the time, but secretly I was determined to hold my own. Sean had already done enough. I wanted to prove myself.

I needed to prove myself. He may have secured the job for me, but it was up to me to prove I deserved to keep it.

Jenna continued to talk while we took the stairs to the lower level. “I’ll be happy to show you the lay of the land. This is the bottom floor, where the team’s locker room is located as well as the base therapy rooms.”

I listened attentively and smiled politely. Even though Sean had already given me a tour on the day of the interview, and I’d since memorized the schematic of the sports complex, I appreciated Jenna taking the time to show me around and give me these helpful tips.

“I imagine you’ll spend most of your non-charting time here.” She nudged me again with her elbow. “Hope you don’t mind a few bare arses and wagging dicks.”

I pressed my lips together and stared at her with wide eyes because Jenna had paired this statement with wagging eyebrows.

She then snorted and burst into laughter, smacking me on the shoulder. “Lord, your expression.” Jenna shook her head, her face now red as she wiped tears of hilarity from her eyes.

Meanwhile, I stared at her while the words bare arses and wagging dicks hung heavy in the long hallway . . . no pun intended.

“Don’t worry,” she finally managed, “they’re all just a bunch of little boys when it comes down to it.”

“I’m not worried. And I’m undaunted by naked flesh.” I tried to sound both congenial and professional, smiling just slightly, not wanting to seem uptight.